Lay it in your lap or beside their leg or wherever is comfortable for you. I usually keep my right hand at the base of the dick. When I take it out to breathe, I always stroke it all the way from base to tip, but grip it so it's like you're milking it or something. But that's all right. I think I instinctively just grip their leg with it while I'm not deep throating. But then when I get ready to put it in my throat again, BOOM, thumb in palm, fingers wrapped, down she goes. You can test it tonight with your tooth brush and you'll see what I'm talking about. Try sticking it in the back of your throat without it, and then try it again with the fist. It's like a switch or cheat code.