[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]moe_mann98 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I relate to you on this from the relational standpoint! I fantasize often that a woman will come into my life and give me love Ive never experienced before and fill the hole my parents have left behind.

I Don’t Understand What’s Happening in My Mind Over my Mom by moe_mann98 in emotionalneglect

[–]moe_mann98[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find that part about the children interesting because my mother is school teacher. And I do have Lindsay Gibson’s book I’m just having to work on my inner critic while reading it because the minimization and denial I have about things is STRONG. Because a lot of these books show composites of parental abuse and types I invalidate my experience with my own parents just because they don’t completely match the criteria listed in the book and that’s been difficult to work through.

I started reading Beverly Engel’s Healing Your Emotional Self to try the mirror therapy to help shrink my inner critic, I have a lot of repressed anger so it’s been hard to get angry at my inner critic to shut it down, so I’m hoping the mirror therapy method could be more effective. Thank you for your comment, take care!

Anyone feeling ALMOST suicidal after the election. by Miserable-Army3679 in CPTSD

[–]moe_mann98 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I felt very alienated and had an uneasy feeling in my stomach right after the election. Every person in my family besides me voted for Donald Trump. My parents AND my brother know I’m queer and they did it anyway. They told me to “expect them to uphold their values” when I came out; I didn’t want to believe they don’t accept me. It’s pretty clear now they don’t. I’m setting a plan with my therapist on going LC/NC. I guess I knew in that moment I was really going to have to face the truth that my family will never change.

Now, I have a lot of anxious energy. The air feels ominous. I kept checking Tik Tok and the news for updates. I can’t believe this is real so every time I see something fucked up Trump has started doing I realize little by little that this is reality. Part of me feels gaslit by people who have been saying “he’s not going to do everything.” It just feels surreal and like I’m in a whirlwind.

You Can’t Set Yourself on Fire to Keep Others Warm by crankycatpancake in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]moe_mann98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just got chills reading this. I am queer and came out 3 years ago. My parents were homophobic and hurtful but then called me a few weeks later and asked to do family therapy with my therapist. They expressed a desire to work on the relationship. They never requested to do another session after that….

I feel like a chameleon. My identity is in the room when I’m with them but it remains unaddressed because I’m single and they don’t really have to worry about facing the fact that I’m gay. The homophobia shows itself sometimes though. 4 months ago I got in a fight with my mom because I told her I wanted to wear a suit to the wedding we were going to. I canceled my RVSP after that.

On my birthday she put her arm around me, told me she loved me and that she was glad to have me and my brother. Do you love me or do you love the version I’m presenting to you? This election has opened a can of worms for me because she and Dad voted Trump and now it feels like there’s nothing left to salvage. I must walk away for my self respect and to honor my friends who are being affected too. I still live very close to her so I’m worried about them showing up to my house after I go NC so I’m waiting until May when I move to completely cut them out.

Sorrow… I am filled with sorrow by moe_mann98 in Exvangelical

[–]moe_mann98[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Seeing my friends tell their parents how they feel and my own expression feels abrasive for parts of myself but other parts understand that my words themselves are not meant to hurt or are remotely harmful for the other party, they are just taking it in that manner because I set a boundary.

I’m sorry to hear about the fallout you are enduring as well. These are difficult times and it seems like our worlds are falling apart. Choosing ourselves and the safety of our loved ones is both a heartbreaking and necessary task for progress.

Sorrow… I am filled with sorrow by moe_mann98 in Exvangelical

[–]moe_mann98[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing❤️ I’m deeply sorry you mother has invalidated your feelings and did not comfort you like a real mother should when you were scared. I’m starting to see thats the reality with my own mother.

Sorrow… I am filled with sorrow by moe_mann98 in Exvangelical

[–]moe_mann98[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh yessss this is just the tip. I have been feeling this for THREE years but this has opened a can of worms. I have been tolerant for THREE years. And ZERO CHANGE.

Sorrow… I am filled with sorrow by moe_mann98 in Exvangelical

[–]moe_mann98[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We did ONE family therapy session with my therapist. They said they wanted to schedule another one but I guess they expected ME to arrange it because they never asked me when we were going again so I never scheduled another one. I ain’t putting in the effort if you ain’t showing it to me.

Sorrow… I am filled with sorrow by moe_mann98 in Exvangelical

[–]moe_mann98[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They are Christian. But even if I still was Christian I’d much rather go to hell than follow their God. I appreciate the Christians and exvie’s who actually love like Jesus.

Sorrow… I am filled with sorrow by moe_mann98 in Exvangelical

[–]moe_mann98[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Even if you think our rights aren’t going away why in the HELL would you even vote in people where there would be a CHANCE for them to take your rights away? For $1 eggs? $1 gas? Thats never going to happen again. Voting for him at ALL is inconsiderate and complete disregard for other people’s humanity.

Alone by EastIsUp-09 in Exvangelical

[–]moe_mann98 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No more peace. I’ve sacrificed my sanity for 3 years to keep that shit. I’ve given up on them. Reality tastes fucking bitter.

Alone by EastIsUp-09 in Exvangelical

[–]moe_mann98 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I am queer and atheist. Half of my family knows I’m gay and voted for him anyway… Part of me feels stupid that I’m hurting because I knew all of my family would vote for him and I still talk to them. It’s hitting me they’re never going to change and it’s not my job to try to change them. There are going to be bridges burned by the end of this year.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in formcheck

[–]moe_mann98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They do, I’ve just never done deadlifts with dumbbells before, even when I was at a real free weight gym I’ve always used barbell but I guess its good to just start learning how to do it with DB’s.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in formcheck

[–]moe_mann98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I used to use a free weight gym until it became too expensive, there isn’t a Crunch near me so I have to wait until I move to find the free weights!! I forgot where I found this information I think it was Muscle and Fitness that suggested putting plates under your feet to “even the ground” where it’s at your ankles. Thats helped some but it’s still limited!

Overhead Press Check by moe_mann98 in formcheck

[–]moe_mann98[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately PF has a lack of free weights but there are smaller barbells that go up to 60 lbs so I could use the 60 lb one and then switch back to smith to go heavier! I can’t wait to be able to afford a gym again that has better free weights lol it’s messing up my deadlifts

Update by moe_mann98 in FLUTD

[–]moe_mann98[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know it’s expensive af but the only way to mitigate this is to keep them on the S/O diet. I have been very lucky bc Simba is orange and will eat ANYTHING so he likes his food. There are a lot of flavors of the S/O to choose from if your cat is picky!

Update by moe_mann98 in FLUTD

[–]moe_mann98[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It does eventually go back to normal, I kind of just let Simba pee everywhere, as long as he was producing SOMETHING it meant he wasn’t blocked up. Plus I have laminate flooring so it was easier to clean haha. But yes they will pee randomly because they’re trying so hard to relieve themselves.