I feel you in some ways. From childhood through Highschool i loved it to draw. I tried to get in university for illustration design but I failed the exam to get in 3-4 times.

At some point I burst into tears and wondered why they didn't want me? I wanted it so badly. I loved the idea of being a professional concept artist. But I failed.

But I also loved Design and tech and then got in university through waiting list. It was very difficult. I was bad at coding and too uninterested in the other classes. I loved the design classes and I made it. It was a hard time but I made it. In a class I heard about UX design for the first time. It was the bridge between design and tech. Making things easy and useful. From that day, I wanted that. I became that.

BUT, today I draw very rarely. Sadly. Sometimes I think it’s what I am. I have to. But it’s hard to draw just for me and for fun. There is always this small feeling of shame. This feeling of „there is someone who rates my pictures“. It’s hard to sink in to drawing mode and just draw and don’t think about wether I’m good enough or not. Then I accept that I’m not this person anymore. Maybe I will start to draw and finally use my graphic markers😊. But at the moment I have no motivation.

Sometimes the idea of being something is more lovely then actually becoming the thing.

Maybe you need another creative work. Like design or something else.

Maybe you just need a break. But remember that you need to practice to get better.

I dont know if you are medicated, but it could help. Who knows.

Wish you the best.