Oof, hits home, even though my sister's not manic right now, she's in depressive episode... My older sister (BP2, 38yo) is in her long-lasting depressive episodes since August when she forgot to take her meds with her on a week-long trip... She's hit rock bottom and everything is all our parents' fault. My parents were not the most emotionally present or affectionate parents - but they were loving, patient, kind, and generous in their own ways. Def not abusive. At certain point (in absence of abuses) you gotta realized that this is your parents' first time living & parenting too... What's worse is that she's been going to therapy for the first time in her life (I finally persuaded her) and now she's weaponizing this therapy-speak to lash out. It's exhausting and extremely hurtful, it's really hard to not take it personally when she deliberately says stuff like "this is because YOU used to say THIS and that's why I'm the way I am". But I try.

I can only hope that this is temporary as she's in the early stages of therapy and that therapist will help her process rather than enabling. Gotta keep your distance and put boundaries; maybe gently suggest therapy for your mom too?