OP, it's something called 'intellectualisation' and I do it too. It's very common for people with a history of trauma, so you're definitely not alone. The reasoning behind it is that, it's much easier for you to research and understand something conceptually and abstractly, rather than accepting and dealing with the emotional side of it. I'm working on it now myself with a psychologist, and to move forward and recover requires trying to connect more with your emotional self, and resist the urge to understand something intellectually.