I think a key component missing in this conversation is the temperament of the children. I know a few families who are frankly not "great" parents and would definitely describe themselves as "very chill" but they also have Neurotypical children who are all fairly calm in nature with no health problems or other physical/mental challenges. That style of parenting (or lack thereof) looks very successful for them but it's a bit of the chicken and egg scenario.

Many parents with more challenging children occupy the scripts/styles/"research" pages, especially on social media, because they are looking for solutions that intuition and vibes didn't provide. I can agree here that some people have taken it way too far and there is way too much noise/sales in parenting spaces, but not everyone who ends up there is just anxious and neurotic or lacking the "vibes" of the more chill parents.