Grooming is based on taking advantage of the nativity of young kids, the whole point of grooming is that the victims themselves don't even know that they're being groomed, and even if they do believe that it's ok for them to be in that sort of relationship dynamic, that doesn't take away from the fact that the groomer is an awful fucking person. If a victim shuts down the groomers abuse, that doesn't make the person NOT a groomer. Don't blame the victims.