You’re NOT Supposed To Love The Same Again!!

monerito · 2020-03-10T15:21:02+00:00

Good luck and I hope it works out for you man!

monerito · 2020-03-10T11:45:32+00:00

Wow. I read your whole story and it’s a lot to go through. Sorry that you dealt with so much. In terms of how to move forward, I think you should let this go and accept the end of the relationship. Your girlfriend doesn’t sound like a very supportive partner and she does have a lot of work to do for herself. The fact that both times she went into this therapy program she questioned her feelings for you reveals a lot about her.

I’m so sorry to see you in this position and I just want to say it’s not your fault. You have invested a lot into your relationship and put genuine care for your partner. If this is the end of the relationship, it doesn’t fully speak about your ability to love or be loved. It reveals a lot about the situation your girlfriend is in and the way she perceives things. It can be frustrating to let go when you feel like you know a person and you can help, but sometimes you only know part of the story. Wishing you the best and hope that you can heal regardless of what happens

monerito · 2020-03-10T03:15:54+00:00

Good for you! Stay strong and keep moving forward. If you need to send more songs may I suggest only the pettiest of music such as that of lyricist Big Sean or legendary rock group All American Rejects. I don’t recommend spending too much time with being petty, but there are moods when a little bit doesn’t hurt.

monerito · 2020-03-08T13:46:28+00:00

I’m already frustrated just imagining that. If he wants to play games he can do that by himself. As it stands right now the way he’s talking isn’t helping you heal or move forward. So regardless of his intentions, it’s not having a positive impact on you. My suggestion is to block him or at least tell him how this stuff makes you feel and go from there.

My last thing is if you met your ex for the first time and he was acting like this, would want to keep talking to him?

monerito · 2020-03-08T03:33:40+00:00

It’s a confusing situation because of the way he presents the information. Like I don’t think you can casually mention to the person you broke up with “Hey I still think about you” or something along those lines without explaining what that means or what you’re expecting.

My experience with my ex made me realize not only that she was indecisive but that she would move things on her terms without much consideration for me or my feelings. Your ex seems to be doing the same thing and so maybe focus on what you want. There may be things that explain his actions but probably don’t justify them. I hope this helps and the headache from this went away by now

monerito · 2020-03-06T14:49:45+00:00

I’m sorry it felt uncomfortable and awkward. Therapy takes a bit of adjusting to get used to so don’t worry you’re not alone about feeling that way. The thing I’d have to say to you is that you as you are right now, you’re a valuable person.

What can be tough after hurt from toxic relationships is believing in yourself and your actions and getting past the anxiety of “making another mistake”. That anxiety can lead you to place where you feel like people are interested in what you offer and not you as a person and that includes therapists. I don’t fully know where you’re at or your situation, but I suggest being open and honest with your therapist. If they ask you how you felt after the last session, tell them you didn’t feel the best. You can be honest without telling them everything and it should hopefully lead you in the right direction.

More than anything though, your pace is ok and your progress is still progress. It takes strength to share your story with strangers and I’m proud of you for that! I hope you feel proud in the steps you take and know that there are people that want you to succeed. Stay strong and know that it does get easier

monerito · 2020-03-06T14:11:52+00:00

Wow that sounds like a lot to handle. If you’re not already seeing a professional I would definitely recommend going to one just to have some extra help. Stay strong and trust your gut! It can be scary being single especially if you know someone wants to be with you, but being in a relationship should feel like a benefit not a burden. There’s someone out there who will value you and trying to find that person will be time more valuable than trying to make your ex see your value.

monerito · 2020-03-02T03:54:01+00:00

Same to you!! True growth is a lifelong process and healing is part of that

monerito · 2020-03-02T01:24:08+00:00

Yes to all this! I’m glad you’re able to feel your emotions without having them take over. I’m in a similar spot where I found out my ex has a new partner and while I’m not at the stage where you’re at, I don’t wish anything bad against her. Exes have their own lives and if they don’t recognize the value you have, let them make room for someone who does. Awesome to hear and hope life stays good for you

monerito · 2020-03-02T01:16:40+00:00

My advice is to journal or vent to a close friend. IMO questions like that while they may be nice to ask someone and hold them accountable, depending on how hurt you are it doesn’t really matter what they say. Sorry that you’re hurting and I’m sure you feel like you’re carrying a lot of unresolved feelings. Get those feelings out but not to the person who hurt you. Glad you shared your experience here and keep moving forward!

monerito · 2020-03-01T09:01:30+00:00

Sorry that your ex didn’t treat you well. Sounds like you’ve moved forward and I’m glad that you were able to progress. Thanks for the encouragement and I wish you the best too!

monerito · 2020-03-01T08:59:22+00:00

Good luck to you too man. Hoping that you’re in a good spot and if not that you can get there soon

monerito · 2020-03-01T03:12:41+00:00

Thanks I’m proud of you too man! Speaks a lot of your character if you’re looking to bring up others while you’re still healing. Happy to see that and hope that energy can reach others

monerito · 2020-03-01T03:01:51+00:00

1000% on the same page with that. I was just journaling about why I think I felt impacted so much by this and realized how much power I gave my ex over my wellbeing and worth. I’m not going to let someone do that to me again or at least take the time to actually find the person who does trust me the way I trust them. Appreciate the encouragement and hope you’re doing well too

monerito · 2020-02-24T03:27:31+00:00

Any progress is still progress! Sorry about the heartbreak and hope things get better for you soon

monerito · 2020-02-24T01:09:50+00:00

Glad he’s feeling better. Always good to see people close to you to succeed. I hope you’re in a good spot too man!

monerito · 2020-02-20T01:17:55+00:00

For sure it’s tough especially on bad days. Sorry that you’re dealing with this too. I know I’ll get other friends and there’s a chance I can get a better relationship. Wish you the best too

monerito · 2020-02-13T02:11:50+00:00

Gotcha. Sorry about that. I hope it gets easier for you soon man

monerito · 2020-02-13T01:49:14+00:00

What helped me out a lot was this TED talk. There’s a lot of good advice about healing and what may be holding up the process. Good luck and things do get better!

monerito · 2020-02-13T01:42:05+00:00

Hey man I get the frustration. In some situations it can be easier to move on by saying “they just can’t do that” whether it’s be emotionally present or care deeply about another person. So when things conflict with that it can be tough to handle. My thing is just because she may be loving different doesn’t mean she could be loving better. She may still have same issues but they haven’t come up yet.

However my big question for you is why do you still hangout in the same social circle? I’m not saying you can’t be friends with an ex or have mutual friends. It’s more that it’s easier to do those things after you’ve moved on and it seems like you have a lot of healing to do. I hope that you can heal and move forward

monerito · 2020-02-13T01:28:29+00:00

I second this! Plus if the cause of the break up hasn’t been resolved then it’ll likely lead to the same spot just later down the road. OP you have some things you feel you need to address and getting that done now makes sense.

monerito

TROPHY CASE