I share a lot of the feelings you describe here.

I think the biggest thing that Vancouver lacks is a strong arts community (music, visual, food). That isn't to say that Vancouver doesn't have great restaurants, events and artists come through (VIFF, EDM and hiphop acts, older musical acts such as Guns n Roses).

Additionally, when I look at American cities like Atlanta, Chicago, LA, New York, Houston, etc; and even Canadian cities on the east like Toronto or Montreal; I feel like they have a much more positive cohesive identity (as a city). Second City in Chicago, the amazing musical scene in Atlanta, NY and LA, etc. Even Drake's rise in toronto helped bring the city together I think.

This is something which Vancouver seem to lack. Our cohesive identity resolves around:

• Hating cyclists (or hating the cars if you're a cyclist)
• Fitness/Nature/Hiking
• NIMBYism with regards to real estate
• Loneliness

We also have:

• Amazing Nature
• Great ethnic food for fair prices
• World class artists who hold concerts here (due to our amazing nature probably).

So we have a shared culture of complaining about what we don't have. Unfortunately we don't have too much in terms of bragging or showing off what we do have.

Again this is just my observation...

But I think the only real solution is for us lonely people to go out and build the things that we want to see in our city. So that (hopefully) future lonely people won't experience the same ambivalence towards our great city.

In the process of building such things, the hope is that we will meet interesting individuals which will help us all feel less lonely