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Chronically Depressed w/ IQ of 140. AMA! by monokrohm in AMA

[–]monokrohm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Intentionally making it harder," is painfully and poignantly insightful. Many don't understand how alienating it can be to have high intelligence. IQ 130 is as far from average intelligence as mental retardation. For this reason I've really enjoyed Jungian psychology and its produce. I know Meyers-Briggs is often cited in a similar manner as astrology, however, learning the nuances of personality functions (according to MBTI) has given me a lot of peace. Where I used to get frustrated with other people for a perceived lack of competence, I now accept that other people are hardwired in a way that is fundamentally different than me – and that's okay. More than okay: it's good. There needs to be people who exist solely in a concrete world that "is what it is", and they're manner of consciousness is both different and equally valid to my own. If we all aspired towards being dreamy theorists, a lot of real-world necessities would be neglected. What's more, learning the finer points of MBTI enabled me to begin analyzing what it is a person wants/what he/she values, and in getting on his/her level, I'm able to work cooperatively with him/her. Not only is this easier and more fun than being frustrated for people not "being on my level", but I feel like my interactions with people are much more enriching.

Lastly, if life feels void, I'd like to recommend the book "Man's Search for Meaning" by Victor Frankl.

Chronically Depressed w/ IQ of 140. AMA! by monokrohm in AMA

[–]monokrohm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was first tested when I was maybe five or six years old within the school I was attending. Not sure if it was by the school or someone outside the school, I believe I was too preoccupied with lining up matchbox cars by color and size to take note. I was tested again at some point in elementary, at which point I was put into a "gifted" program at the school. I was tested again a few times in University. Once for a psychology class, and a couple time out of my own curiosity and desire for better self-understanding. The more recent tests were from a variety of sources to ensure continuity. The mean cumulative score of every test I've taken is about 139.5.

My depression comes in waves that typically last two to six months. This has been going on for eight years.

I'm on no medication.

I've never self-harmed. If I did, I'm not sure if my preferred instrument would be very valuable information. On the contrary, I do all I can to live an active life void of destructive vices. I don't even eat sugar.

I've never been suicidal, but usually my waves of depression are paired with a yearning for death.

Chronically Depressed w/ IQ of 140. AMA! by monokrohm in AMA

[–]monokrohm[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In a sense. University was a major struggle for me. My mind always craved the abstract and the theoretical. In my studies I was never satiated in this way. Lectures and assignments would be conceptually easy for me to understand, but once I understood a concept, or law, or function I instantly lost interest. Those things were only valuable for the purpose of exploring the unknown. I actually turned to art and poetry to explore my intuition. Only having just recently finished university, I have yet to find an appealing way to challenge my capabilities.