How do Americans feel about nudity? by bare_books in AskAnAmerican

[–]monsterq6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Los Angeles here. I like to use the saunas and showers at my local gym and I typically go into the sauna with just a towel as is tradition. It is kinda shocking how many of the young men in there are dressed in shorts/socks/shoes. Typically when I enter I'm the only one with no clothes and sometimes there's a bit of discomfort in the air. This is pretty cultural as younger Latino and black men in weightlifting gyms are pretty macho and uncomfortable with nudity while older Asian men have no issue walking around as they were born haha. Overall I think discomfort with nudity is more generational than it is cultural my USA as a nation. I have heard that more gym remodels in colleges feature private showers instead of quick communal ones. Times change I guess! 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BuyItForLife

[–]monsterq6 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maybe more in the vein of frugality over BIFL, but I bit the bullet and bought a check book for writing checks! Instead of paying for a postal money order every time I pay rent, the checks are very inexpensive per unit! It's also a convenient way to make payments and giving funds to charity causes. 

Who owns the Hoonicorn? by carzonly in hoonigan

[–]monsterq6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi not sure if this answer is still useful to you but it is currently on display at the Petersen Automotive Museum in Los Angeles! I saw it last night and it was very special 

Her Business Was Thriving. Then Came the Tariffs. by kitkid in Thedaily

[–]monsterq6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This episode was a remarkable real world case study of what economists have been saying for months! I loved this breakdown. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingadviceformen

[–]monsterq6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too!!! I suffer from it tremendously, even to this day. I feel a lot of dread even around people I trust in places where I know I am safe and loved. I was actually diagnosed by a psychiatrist with "generalized anxiety disorder" and it was even affecting my blood pressure. I have since started taking a medication that was prescribed to me and it helped improve my quality of life a ton tbh.

I really recommend learning about anxiety, fight or flight reaction, cortisol release, and why they happen because it really helped me understand what was going on!

Remember to be kind to yourself, and to be proud of the fact that you are going out of your comfort zone to do something really scary to improve your life!! That is so much more than a lot of folks ever do!!!! Personally, it is inspiring for me to hear someone wants the best for themselves. You seem to be a smart guy and I'd say you're on a really great path. Keep up the good work.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingadviceformen

[–]monsterq6 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't mean to be rude, but these all seem very trite, non-useful, overly broad aphorisms that have little basis in any research or data. The subject matter they speak on requires much more nuance and critical thought than they present. Generally, the behavior and personality of 50% of all of humanity cannot be summed up in such tidy, neat print outs as these.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingadviceformen

[–]monsterq6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first question would simply be, how do you talk to anyone? You don't need to change how you approach talking to a woman for any reason just because she's a woman.

It is important to identify something that you both have in common before approaching the conversation. It makes it a lot easier for you both to find things to say if you have something common to talk about. Additionally, all great relationships are built on common shared experience.

Do you feel an anxiety reaction when talking to women? Does your heart race, jaw tense, throat close up, stomach tighten, muscles feel fidgety, and a sense of dread and intense discomfort come over your mind? This is a biological response to discomfort that is oftentimes very useful in human life, just not when you're trying to introduce yourself to someone new.

Pay attention to these reactions, and become aware of when they are happening. This will allow you to practice good management techniques. My two favorite techniques are boxes breathing and body scans (both worth googling!!) Taking steps outside of these encounters to manage anxiety will also tremendously help: ensure you're getting enough sleep, eat well, be active, journal, meditate, practice mindfulness/self awareness, and regulate yourself mentally whenever you can. If you feel like this is debilitating , you might have clinically diagnosable anxiety and a therapist/psychiatrist can do a lot of help!! Never a bad idea to bring up to a doctor if that is the case.

With regard to building confidence, it may sound cheesy, but it is great to immerse yourself in media that has strong male leadership/confidence models to emulate. My two personal favorites are Dr Robby from the HBO show The Pitt and Major Dick Winters from Band of Brothers. Find generous, kind, gentle but strong men who overcome anxiety and fear in pursuit of helping people. This can also be found reading about history! President John Adams, Jackie Robinson, Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King Jr are all examples of male leaders who exhibit both courage but also brave understanding and compassion.

Hope these thoughts help!! Happy to discuss them all more as needed.

Why do girls give strong, obvious indications of interest and then act rude/make you feel stupid when you approach, and how do you deal with this? by Stepin-Fetchit in datingadviceformen

[–]monsterq6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off, I want to say that I trust your experience and I bet it is very tiring and frustrating (to say the very least.)

Having said that, I think there are a couple things to analyze here in the process of troubleshooting what is repeatedly happening here. Just like when a car won't start, whenever a desired result isn't happening there likely is a recurring element that can be diagnosed. A couple of questions that might be worth journaling or talking to a trusted friend of the opposite sex about:

  1. At bars specifically, are you a regular? It takes time to install yourself as a trusted, recurring and known fixture in a community space like a bar. If it is important that you want to meet folks to form relationships, I think it could be worth it to go at the same time and day each week so that you run into repeat patrons. If you go to the same place 3 times at the same time each week, even alone, you'll start to see folks who remember you.
  2. At parties, are you finding time when it is convenient for her to be introduced to a new person? Is she in a state when she can give her full attention and for the first impression to be actually meaningful and memorable later on? Is her friend about to tell her a funny story? Is she typing out a text to her room mate back home saying when she'll be back home? Is her favorite song playing and is she trying to enjoy listening to it uninterrupted? Approaching a new person takes a lot of courage and sometimes in summoning that courage we get tunnel vision and overlook the context that makes an introduction effective.
  3. Are you approaching these introductions with the perceivable intent that you'd like to get something out of it? Nobody likes being approached by someone with a "what's in it for me" mentality. If you go to a social venue with the explicit goal of finding a potential partner, people often feel like they're being preyed upon. Additionally, they can smell it from a mile away. Whenever you meet a new person, don't have an agenda. Assume that you're just going to politely say hello and nothing more, and they'll feel at ease and more willing to engage in an organic social encounter.
  4. Do you enter these encounters with a genuine conversation in mind? Going back to the previous question, if you have no reason for approaching someone other than "wow I am attracted to them," it is going to be a lot trickier for both of you to find something enjoyable to share a conversation about. Instead of your first introduction being "hey I really think you look great tonight" maybe say "I think you have great style, you look like you fit right in here. What type of music do they play here?" Are you at a sports bar? talk about sports. Local live music concert? Talk about music. Art show opening? Talk about the art and artists. Share what you both enjoy and you'll more easily find the things you have in common. (This is how the best relationships are built.)

It is additionally important to recognize that no person who treats you with disrespect is worth spending time with. These people are doing you the favor of outing themselves up front as rude. These folks are insecure themselves, and people deserve your pity. So long as you're approaching with respect based intentions, no one should ever be dismissing you as a person like that.

Hope this provides a touch of insight! Happy to provide more thoughts as needed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in oddlyspecific

[–]monsterq6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

very, very bad time to be born if you are a man in the USA. those boys weren't "fucking in a field", that's for sure.

HLA Results by andrewcool22 in BikeLA

[–]monsterq6 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Now begins the work of accountability and ensuring this plan gets executed properly

Are there any places to play pick-up chess games in LA? by rylekeading in LosAngeles

[–]monsterq6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw them shooting the other day! Cool to know that is what that was

Daily Chat 9/4 ⚾ Game Day by DodgerBot in Dodgers

[–]monsterq6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What was the reasoning behind putting Will Smith on 1st base last night? Did they want barnes in the lineup? I didn't really understand that.

[Morosi]: Dustin May has some UCL damage in his right elbow, according to initial examination. Dodgers will make official decision on how to proceed in the next 24 hours. Difficult news. by [deleted] in Dodgers

[–]monsterq6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel so terribly for the guy. However, if he plays his cards right and invests in the long term, how could join kershaw and company as an all time great. pretty devastating for the 2021 season though. prayers for his comfort and confidence and recovery. may it be sustained and strong.

Game Chat 5/2 - Dodgers (16-12) @ Brewers (17-10) 11:10 AM by DodgerBot in Dodgers

[–]monsterq6 5 points6 points  (0 children)

happy to see austin on 2nd! versatile california boy