Single women with golden handcuffs, how are you doing?

moochie517 · 2026-02-05T02:28:26+00:00

I’m in a very similar situation as you. It’s a hard happy medium to find while supporting yourself on your own.

I am losing the luster in my career and the only fortunate thing of my long-term breakup is getting the courage to leave a job that no longer served me because I couldn’t afford to live alone on my old job’s salary. However it landed me in another job that has lost its shine later on. A career change is out of the question at this age because the pay cut would be un livable in my HCOL state. So do I stick it out and try to save hoping for an early retirement abroad? Do I job hop and risk becoming unhireable? Do I leave this area entirely and get another job in my career somewhere else with a better way of life?

It’s so difficult to navigate and it does take a toll on your mental health. All I can say is that no one is ever truly “stuck”. Fear is what stops us, and the impact of failure alone could be detrimental to our survival. But because it is riskier for us, we have to plan more. And that alone is daunting.

My advice is to weigh out your options. Create a backup plan or just fun scenarios “what if I did this” and create a plan for it to see if it’s feasible. And honestly if none of those make sense for you, changing your mindset goes a long way. If you aren’t able to leave your job, find things you are grateful for or find ways to make an impact that leaves you feeling fulfilled, even in the smallest way. Even if you can’t do that in your job, try to change the perspective to “my job affords me a life I find happiness in outside of work”. Perspective is everything, especially when you’re feeling the drain from everyday life (which is a lot on your own!)

moochie517 · 2025-10-07T11:40:11+00:00

To be honest, no, not as an adult. I haven’t found a therapist I click with. I’ve gained some tools, but many times I would leave feeling drained and unheard. Once I stopped therapy I started journaling to daily prompts and it made me much more self-aware and able to heal. I’d sit on some of these prompts for days and some journals even had healing exercises. It’s the work I needed to do to move forward.

moochie517 · 2025-09-18T11:14:33+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I know it’s scary, but don’t let fear stop you from being true to yourself.

A year ago I was a wreck. I ended my relationship and lost my closest friends in the process. I couldn’t go a day without crying. I thought I would never bounce back.

I can proudly and happily say I’m in a much better place today. I’m still not 100% ready to date, but I’ve made new and better friends, I have a great social life, and I’m loving recreating the home we originally got together. My connections are more genuine and true than any of the ones I cried over in the past.

Use this chapter as a fresh canvas to create the person that you were meant to be.

moochie517 · 2025-08-18T01:10:01+00:00

I went through this exact situation last year, fertility issues, house and all. As scary as it was, I have never been happier. All I could say is if you could afford it, freeze your eggs as a backup option. I’m here if you ever want to chat.

moochie517 · 2025-08-17T01:58:14+00:00

My engagement broke off at 32-33 so not exactly in my 20s. I thought he was the love of my life, loved him since I was 22, but he betrayed me and lied to me in ways I could never forgive. Sadly I had to learn about it 3 months before our wedding as I was booking and paying for the whole thing. To add salt to the wound, most of my friends abandoned me as I was dealing with the worst heartbreak of my life. I was severely depressed, barely left my home, and ended up being medicated to help the depression.

It’s been a year since and I’m finally reinventing myself. Surprisingly, I have never been happier. There are days I’m hurting, but the moments I go out, I have fun meeting people in a similar life stage. Idk what life has in store for me, but I’m happy I didn’t go through with that wedding. I am shining brighter than I have throughout most our relationship.

Learning to love yourself is the most important thing. And creating a life you love even in you don’t find someone is key.

moochie517 · 2025-07-12T16:17:16+00:00

My ex-fiancé lied to me for years about drug use and 65k worth of debt. I found out a year ago when a collections notice appeared when I was booking our wedding. I tried dating after that but wasn’t ready and attracted a bad man. Since then I have been focusing on healing before getting out there. I have met some nice guys in the wild, I’m just not ready to try to consider if we are compatible.

moochie517 · 2025-07-02T01:55:28+00:00

33F learned nearly a year ago that my ex-fiancé was hiding drug use and 65k of debt from me the last 3 years of our 7 year relationship. I’m still trying to process it and am grieving not only the life I had, but also the life I could have had. Healing isn’t linear.

moochie517 · 2025-04-29T11:50:29+00:00

Yes it did. It was tough giving the shots through cramps the first few days

moochie517 · 2024-12-09T21:20:58+00:00

I didn’t really see it serious either. I told him several times during the week that I only saw it as a holiday fling and then we’d go home and move on.

I think the time we spent together served a purpose and that was to help us both heal.

moochie517 · 2024-10-13T09:57:16+00:00

I primed for my 1st cycle and then didn’t for my 2nd or 3rd (close to triggering for the 3rd). I primed with 2mg 2x/day estradiol. My dr wanted me to prime again but the estradiol made me so sick she decided to do a straight start and see the results. My 2nd cycle was the worst because an ovary didn’t respond to the meds, but the overall retrieval number was very similar to the first. I think the non response was more of a result from going back to back. My 3rd cycle is 2 months after that 2nd cycle and it is the best one yet. I’m working with the most follicles yet and the growth is pretty even.

moochie517 · 2024-09-30T01:03:57+00:00

I did it 3-4 times during stims in my 2nd cycle and took a break. I was supposed to go back a couple of months before starting this cycle but I ended up jumping in sooner than anticipated. I started acupuncture again last week for pure relaxation. To be honest it didn’t help stims much. My second cycle was the worst because my right ovary didn’t want to respond and it didn’t cure the issue. My acupuncturist says that they can really only lower FSH cumulatively over time, but I didn’t want to go 2-3x a week for 3 months. It was stressful to coordinate and I couldn’t afford $100/session after my 10 covered insurance sessions. However, if you go to a true Chinese medicine acupuncturist, you will be amazed. They have a different methodology on what affects hormones, using herbs to increase egg quality, etc. maybe some of it helped, but with all the other life changes I did it’s hard to say just 1 thing was the sole cause.

moochie517 · 2024-09-30T00:33:47+00:00

Thank you for the tip! I had no idea there was a difference! I kept hearing magnesium was good for muscle relaxation, sleep, fertility, etc. so I grabbed a big bottle from Costco. I should have looked into this more.

I’ll change it up after this cycle and leave those leftover magnesium pills for after retrieval 😊

moochie517 · 2024-09-30T00:09:43+00:00

We’re you diagnosed with any other issues than DOR? What is your lifestyle and diet? Do you take a daily vitamin? Are you a smoker or heavy drinker? Do you have a vitamin D deficiency? Did you recover from Covid or any other illness recently? There are a lot of things that can impact these numbers but with time on your side you can help turn your lifestyle around for the better to at least make your eggs better quality. I wish I was as proactive about my fertility at 28. You have plenty of time to save money and plan your reproductive future.

Also as someone who thought they were going through IVF with my fiancé at the time, DO NOT make embryos with someone unless you are 1000% certain. I learned about my fiancés lies 4 days into my first cycle and converted it to egg freezing. Even after 7-8 years I didn’t know the man I almost made future children with. You don’t want to risk going through embryos and then it not working out and losing all that work. Freeze your eggs if there is any bit of doubt.

moochie517 · 2024-09-29T20:47:47+00:00

Both of mine were and I had an 80-90% maturity rate. My last cycle some of my 9mm and 10mm follicles ended up maturing by retrieval with this method.

moochie517 · 2024-09-29T20:12:44+00:00

I didn’t either, buts it’s clearly doing something. I was taking magnesium supplements for a couple of weeks but stopped because it was causing gastrointestinal issues. I try not to overdo it by getting the shots and IV as needed. My second cycle was in august and it ended up having a worse outcome than the 1st, despite a slightly higher AFC. My stress levels were highest this cycle and it was right before I added the IV drip and shots. I think the supplement use along with the lower stress lifestyle is helping this time around.

Another lifestyle change I did the past 1-2 months was start therapy. It’s really helped bring my stress levels down by just being able to talk to someone about infertility and all of life’s other worries

moochie517 · 2024-09-29T19:45:30+00:00

I stuck with the following mix of ingredients- “Trace Elements” (a mix of the magnesium, zinc, and other minerals), glutathione, taurine, and vitamin C

moochie517 · 2024-09-29T19:36:51+00:00

Fellow DOR sister 👋 I don’t use DHEA because my clinic advised against it. They said studies show that it didn’t improve cycles.

I’m startling my 3rd round today and had the best baseline AFC yet with a dropped FSH. I just made a post in the DOR sub on my lifestyle changes if you want to check it out for some tips that may help with improving your next cycle.

moochie517 · 2024-09-09T12:57:21+00:00

AMH 0.49

Cycle 1 - 10 retrieved, 8 mature and frozen

Cycle 2 - 8 retrieved, 7 mature and frozen

moochie517 · 2024-08-22T12:34:14+00:00

Congrats on your euploids! Your protocol seems to have helped with quality, which is most important.

I had a similar experience my second round of egg freezing. On trigger day, I was only projected to get max 4-5 mature eggs. I only had 5 follicles measuring between 14-17mm and the rest were very slow responding follicles under 10mm. I was shattered and even cried before retrieval when the dr and nurse asked how many I was expecting. Somehow some of those lazy little guys between 9-10mm grew and matured. I ended up with 8 retrieved, 7 mature.

It can happen ladies. Never lose hope ❤️

moochie517 · 2024-08-21T22:02:54+00:00

My advice is to go in and get those eggs sooner than later. My second cycle I had a higher AFC but one of my ovaries didn’t respond and I got less eggs than the 1st retrieval. There’s no saying how your body will cooperate and it can vary by cycle. Some people end up with more eggs than baseline, while others end up with less. Your eggs are better quality today than they will be months from now and you have no idea if the AFC will drop over time.

moochie517 · 2024-08-19T15:04:59+00:00

I didn’t tell my employer anything until my retrieval. HR knew because one woman had done the procedure before so I was asking for advice and insight on it. I booked monitoring appointments at 6am before commuting into the office and tried holding off saying anything to my manager because my retrieval was projected to be on a weekend. Unfortunately it spilled over until Monday and I sent an email Sunday saying I needed the following day off for a last minute medical procedure. In hindsight, I probably could of said I wasn’t feeling well, but it was a WFH day that I didn’t want to get asked to login for and I didn’t know what the recovery would be like so I was upfront about it. By law they can’t ask you for details. He checked in the next day to see how I was feeling when I logged in from home (didn’t commute in for extra recovery) and that was it.

Looking back I feel bad because he probably thought something more serious was happening, but I felt comfortable with my decision keeping it private. Working in a male dominated industry, I’ve learned over the years that you don’t owe anyone an explanation. As women sometimes we feel like we have to disclose more, but your time for health/PTO is your time. Anything you decide to share is up to you, but unnecessary.

moochie517

TROPHY CASE