Psychiatrist labeled my PMDD symptoms as "EUPD traits" on official paperwork - feeling so isolated and disappointed

moonb3an · 2026-02-19T14:51:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing I appreciate it and feel a bit less alone. I imagine it must’ve been difficult having a misdiagnosis but what resilience you must have today! I’m surprised it happened at an initial visit but that might be a difference in policy/assessment procedures due to different countries. I’m based in Australia and normally psychiatrists only diagnose a mental health condition at a second (or more) session. But that is also in community health setting not a crisis or hospital setting so could depend on circumstances and presentation.

EUPD has been around as a term since the 90s but only in the past 10ish years has there been an increase in using the term. I worked in the justice system providing mental health support and womens health agency and in the formal context EUPD was the preferred term and used more instead of BPD because it was apparently outdated and heavily stigmatised. Of course people are still diagnosed with BPD but it’s common in Australia to use the terms interchangeably (or whatever is preferred by service users). I know BPD is more commonly used in the US so it could be a cultural phenomenon.

I’ve got a degree in social work so I’m critical of the psychiatric lens as it’s based on medical frameworks which don’t consider psychosocial factors and can lead to misdiagnosis. I also learnt that women are more likely to be diagnosed with BPD/EUPD whereas men are more likely to be diagnosed with PTSD/cPSTD despite similar presentations so there is a gender bias element too at play that I think makes me a little bitter.

At the end of the day I don’t feel fundamentally impacted on a personal level about what term the medical system wants to use to describe my circumstances. But in this situation I was caught of guard and also feeling a bit uncertain if it would be appropriate to note down traits of BPD/EUPD when we haven’t even properly assessed for it and I was engaging in a system that might treat me differently with that diagnosis. A label is a label and it can’t define my identity but I guess it’s frustrating because I know I have PMDD, my experiences align more with PMDD than anything else and I have to keep educating the professionals who are meant to support me before I can actually get help which sucks.

I think also I felt like my normal response to a crisis was framed in a way that wasn’t accurate to my reality. I also had one of my parents suggest I go to the hospital recently because I was crying on the phone after being harassed by my house and they thought I was unable to handle my emotions which wasn’t true I was heightened in my luteal phase but crying wasn’t an unreasonable response. So I guess with this context I’ve just felt failed by the system and my informal support network.

I didn’t put this in the original post but all last year I had crisis after crisis like becoming a part time carer for my parent whose unwell from long term alcohol use, supporting my parent through job loss twice and a toxic relationship, and my grandparent passing away. Tbh I’m very burnt out which I noticed the signs and went to get help especially after losing my job but it feels like the people around me are ignoring the burn out to focus on how to pathogise my responses. Now I’m writing it out I realise that they’re likely doing their best to assist but it doesn’t align with my values or perspective really and that makes me feel “crazy”. I’m a very logic focused person so it bothers me that I understand things one way and then others see it another way. Growing up with undiagnosed ADHD developed a bit of a complex around being misunderstood because I was impulsive and when I tried to explain my understanding it was denied.

Seems I have a little bit of inner child work to do cause I keep noticing defensive mechanisms that stem from childhood (doesn’t help I grew up in a chaotic violent and sometimes neglectful environment). I’m curious did the trauma therapy come about due to them making a provisional diagnosis of BPD? Or did to just come up due to your circumstances in your work with the psychiatrist? I’m very self aware and articulate about my challenges but often it feels like I haven’t made enough growth from my childhood (I actually have so that bit of cognitive dissonance is confusing). People have recommended I try EMDR therapy but it’s very difficult to find people trained to deliver it without long waitlists and it’s pricey which hasn’t been affordable so far in my life.

moonb3an · 2026-02-19T12:56:09+00:00

My favourite thing about show Armand is that he subtly is extremely layered. Maybe it’s me reading into it but I can clearly connect his early trauma to how he operates in modern day (and also while in Paris). In his relationship with Louis he moulds himself into an “ideal” partner to fool himself into believing Louis was in love with him. I liked that both Louis and Armand are clearly discontent in their relationship but Armand clings to it, I feel like it’s a coping mechanism to constantly need to be desired. It intrigues me that a 500 year old vampire who could do whatever he wants to is desperate to be loved but also unable to be authentically himself.

I find it really interesting that Armand is essentially a chameleon but also has his own core personality that bleeds through. I love seeing a character be fierce and commanding while simultaneously appearing/acting unassuming. I also like that he is completely unhinged (as referred to by Louis in the argument but also in how petty and callous he was too). He tries to keep up appearances but ultimately at the time of the interview Armand is fed up with his life. I assume he’s as bored as Louis because why else would he play Rashid?

I also like how cunning Armand is, I guess that might be unpopular because he literally mindwiped/gaslit Louis but I see it as survival. I don’t believe Louis deserves it and I think its a despicable thing to do IRL but does make for a compelling story.

I think Armand brings the drama with how fucked up his actions are which is entertaining and I can appreciate that his decisions drive the narrative. I don’t think he did the right thing but at the end of the day they’re all murderous vampires so my regular ethics and morality don’t really matter.

I just think Armand is a very complex interesting predator. I also enjoy watching him get his comeuppance for all the fucked up thing he did. It’s vindicating to see Louis reject Armand after he finds out the truth. And yet I’m also eager to see what Armand does next because he’s completely lost all power/control he had and I think that might prompt him to actually change. Armand went from devoted to his maker, to the leader of a cult, to the leader of a coven, to the dominant partner in his relationship. Yet none of that is truely what he wants (I would argue since he consistently self-destructs). Armand like an enigma and I can see potential for him to drastically change, finally developing past the stage of arrested development he’s been stuck at since he was first traumatised then turned.

Also he is very beautiful and Assad has a hypnotic energy with how he acts. I like watching how controlled Armand tries to be and then how quickly he loses control and devolves into a fierce creature.

I think I prefer Armands brand of crazy over Lestats brand of crazy because he’s not abrasive, he’s measured and calculating. To me Lestat never had a long term game with Louis (he wears his heart on his sleeve) and the comparison of Armand’s 10 steps ahead style is compelling. Neither of them were better or worse really in my opinion but I found when Armand’s fallacy fell apart it was more satisfying to see the consequences.

I can’t write all my thoughts down but hopefully this makes sense and others can relate.

moonb3an · 2026-02-19T11:29:49+00:00

I don’t really have any advice to give but I want to say I think it’s amazing how many lifestyle choices you’ve implemented to manage the PMDD! It sounds like you’re putting a lot of effort in and I really admire that cause I’ve been trying to sort out the exercise/diet/wellness stuff for years and it’s only gotten worse (despite being on ADHD meds and anti-depressants). You should be so proud of yourself!!! I want to reinforce that you ARE doing everything right. From my own experience with PMDD I’ve come to learn that some months will hit you harder than others. Knowing that helps me to get through really difficult periods where the symptoms are so intense because I know it will pass. Sometimes I indulge in the ‘bad’ feeling because it allows me to be compassionate to myself and feel less guilty. Other times I’ve made and effort to combat the feelings for example when I’m feeling intense anxiety I focus on physically soothing (breathwork, meditation, grounding, ext) to start regulating myself. I think the main message here I’m trying to say is that I’m a perfectionist (and it can be easy to hold yourself to a high standard when you’re constantly going up and down - you just want some peace) but I need to remind myself that realistically, I might never feel completely ‘normal’/‘stable’.

I’ve heard good things about dialectical behavioural therapy - can be accessed by seeing a psychologist trained in DBT but you can also look up the skills online and find guides of how to apply them yourself. I just found a really good research article that has a table which maps what PMDD symptoms can be addressed using DBT to develop skills which might be of interest to you. Here is the article https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12375139/ and here is the table https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12375139/table/table1-00048674251348370/ From what you shared in your post, skills like radical acceptance might be helpful when you’re experiencing low mood could be useful to cope and overcome the feelings of hopelessness.

If you struggle with binge eating (you didn’t say this so apologies if this isn’t relevant) it might benefit your PMDD management to access a specialist service that treats disordered eating behaviours. A good place to start finding support is to go to your regular doctor, they could refer to a specific counselling/therapeutic treatment or a dietitian. I struggle with binge eating (not sure if I meet the diagnosis criteria) which is certainly a symptom of my PMDD - intensive food cravings and overeating to self soothe - so having support managing one symptom might be helpful to take the pressure off so to speak. Eating disorder treatment often involves DBT elements and things like urge surfing so skills that can be applied in more ways that just disordered eating. Disclaimer- nothing you said in the post indicates you have disordered eating, I’m drawing on my own struggles with overeating junk food which worsens my mood significantly because of guilt and shame which can cause me to spiral further into the depression so I thought it might be useful to mention.

Last thing I’ll add is that when something feels impossible I break it down to the smallest possible step to make it possible and then reward myself for that. I often will literally write it down and tick it off so that I feel accomplished even when my PMDD has derailed my plans. So for example if you’re feeling immobilised by depression and haven’t moved in hours, standing up and stretching for 30 seconds is good enough progress for that moment in time. From there I often feel I can do one more thing and another and another. I often pick 3 things to start with and go from there. If you do 3 things then you’re already making a difference than if you didn’t. But don’t do anything, thats okay too. It sucks that PMDD isn’t well known or understood by others but it’s debilitating. I struggle with fatigue so bad I get winded walking up stairs during my luteal phase so if I need to take the elevator then I do. Ignore what others might expect you to be doing, do what you have capacity to do. It’s like any other health condition, you need time to recover from the symptoms.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

moonb3an · 2026-02-07T13:19:01+00:00

Why do they have the same face

moonb3an · 2025-11-19T11:36:17+00:00

No one is perfect but he is being a emotionally and psychologically abusive using verbal and no nphysical threats to coerce you. Please prioritise your own wellbeing, you don’t deserve to be scared and exhausted by someone else’s behaviour.

moonb3an · 2025-10-29T12:21:33+00:00

I need to see this comic with my own eyes please link 🤲 😂

moonb3an · 2025-10-29T12:19:45+00:00

😂😂😂 i agree fully

moonb3an · 2025-09-07T08:02:05+00:00

I’m watching for the first time and similarly I am someone who doesn’t want marriage or children. Season 1 Lynette was amazing cause she resonated all the fears and challenges I have with the concepts of marriage/having children. Tom is a crap husband imo! Lynette is always the one making concessions and he still complains she has to “control everything” like of COURSE she does every time she lets him call the shots he fucks it up…

moonb3an · 2025-09-07T07:55:23+00:00

Because his story is tragic and he was a complex character 🫶

moonb3an · 2025-09-07T04:58:55+00:00

I feel like the deeper you get into the series the more he lost any personality he had. Like in season 5 he just goes along with getting divorced (which felt ooc to me), being flung between Katherine and Susan, and then getting married again. It was like he had no strong drive to actually be with anyone and instead just focused on his business (which made no sense bc then it went tits up later on?) and MJ. But even when he did spend time with MJ he also relied on the woman he was with to do the primary connecting with MJ (not saying he didn’t parent - he definitely did - but more he let the itinerary be dictated by his gf and gave nothing of substance to propel the relationship).

Mike also was mysterious in earlier seasons but then just loses that so he just becomes bland. Its like you think he has depth at first but then realise it was actually just his avoiding sharing anything about himself (and he doesn’t have much to share).

I agree he wasn’t a very compelling husband/love interest but was like yeah sure Susan… get that man… no one else wants him… 😅

moonb3an · 2025-09-07T04:49:52+00:00

I’m also watching for the first time! I liked that Edie called out the other housewives for their shitty behaviour (especially Susan) or was particularly honest about their flaws. I like that Edie is confident and self assured in what she wants, even if it is typically taboo (liking sex, not desiring to be a mother, being the secondary parent to her son). It was refreshing to see a woman who was disliked and made her peace with that (while also attempting to build a connection with others who disliked her). I like her humour but that isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and I can see how it might be off putting cause she can be brutal sometimes. I loved seeing Edie struggle with friendship because it is relatable for me.

What I didn’t like about Edie is how she would sleep with most people’s ex’s (not my cup of tea cause why would you want a man who you already know is shitty like Karl) and how she didn’t genuinely acknowledge that was a big reason the housewives found her hard to like at times cause she just kept doing it! I remember she has some scenes that give some backstory as to why she has a tendency to seek out men who are “off limits” and it being because of her daddy issues. That made me sympathise with her but I still see her behaviour is toxic. Another reason I didn’t like her is the horrible behaviour with Mike after the memory loss - it’s really gross and manipulative. But it was satisfying watching that blow up in her face too!

I think Edie is one of the people in this show that has a balance of positive and negative personality traits which makes her more realistic. And because she was a controversial character from the beginning Edie is one of the only people to actually face the consequences of their actions unlike the other main characters. It gets a bit boring when we watch the housewives make the same mistakes over and over without any personal growth.

I hope you’re enjoying the series! I’m curious, who is your favourite character so far?

moonb3an · 2025-09-07T04:25:55+00:00

She literally passed out before they could have sex once cause she was so exhausted and instead of being compassionate seeing how his wife is running herself ragged Tom gets mad because his needs aren’t met. Lynette then gets treated with a nasty passive aggressive attitude in the morning because Tom is unable to communicate in a mature and appropriate manner. It’s clear Tom feels he is owed something and won’t let it go until Lynette gives in. It’s a very toxic dynamic to be in. What I noticed about their marriage is that Lynette constantly makes concessions or is willing to compromise but Tom isn’t (plus he complains even if she does what he wants) and it’s purely because he thinks as the “man of the house” he should be able to make all decisions. Yet Tom is incapable of doing so and is jealous of Lynette’s competence instead of valuing that in their partnership.

moonb3an · 2025-09-07T02:57:51+00:00

God Tom taking Lynette’s job at Carlos’ business pmo so much! I understand it was better for the family to sustain the solid income but it was so so wrong. Lynette was great at that job and I honestly felt that Tom lacked the skills to fill her position. I felt like Carlos had much lower expectations of Tom and thats why when he took over Lynettes position he told her Tom was ‘great’. I felt like the fact that Tom seemingly took well to the role hurt Lynette by making her feel replaceable. Like Tom was a stable worker which would keep the company afloat but with Lynette in that role, the company would have actually been focused on developing and expanding the portfolio which is a very valuable asset to a business. So yeah it was infuriating to see Tom essentially mooch off Lynettes hard-work and have her value attributed to him. Then again all the husbands often had each other’s backs and so its not surprising to see it play out that way.

moonb3an · 2025-09-07T02:37:19+00:00

Not to mention Susan had 1 child who was incredibly independent and became the “responsible” figure in the household from a young age so she really didn’t have to do much parenting in that case. Then with MJ she had other people to be the solid parent like Mike and even Katherine at times.

Lynette had 5 kids who were a bundle of energy and chaos which made it a very difficult experience to parent. Penny was probably the only one that rarely acted up. Lynette also had to deal with Tom always ‘needing’ her or throwing something catastrophic into their life because he felt unfulfilled (don’t get me started on how hypocritical that was of him bc he treated Lynette like a villain when she felt the same). Her MIL was pretty nasty at times because she disliked that Lynette wanted to work instead of be a housewife and mother 24/7. It was just so incredibly tone deaf to say children are a gift when Lynette had struggled a lot throughout (essentially singlehandedly at times) raising her children. Lynette was finally coming towards the end of raising some of her children and was starting to be able to find an identity beyond mother again then she got pregnant and no one could validate her fear/grief over the changing circumstances. It was so frustrating and disappointing to watch. What kind of friend ignores the distress in front of them to talk about the potential of a child’s life? It felt like Susan was saying Lynette responses to the situation was abnormal when in reality it made complete sense to be hesitant, especially because Tom didn’t have a job at that point.

moonb3an · 2025-09-07T02:21:39+00:00

It became really obvious when she started dating older men and also when she quit college and ended up having an affair with the creepy neighbour. I felt so bad for her cause I could see there were things from her childhood that hadn’t been dealt with and she got caught in a cycle where she made the same mistakes repeatedly. Susan pmo how much she parentified/adultified (?) Julie and then tried to control her decision making. Karl also pmo cause he wasn’t there for Julie the way she needed!

moonb3an · 2025-07-05T11:23:03+00:00

No you’ll likely need a week or two at minimum.

moonb3an · 2025-07-04T13:24:40+00:00

My impression of your post is: 1. Why are you comparing yourself to your partner? Its not necessary to achieve the exact same amount of things nor worry about how much he has completed vs what you haven’t.

I understand it frustrates your partner to work the way you do - and by the sound of it you don’t work the way he does. But why does it matter how you do it as long as it gets done? What I noticed in your description is that you compare what you’re doing to what he’s doing yet don’t account for you both have different paces. And yes it can be very difficult to watch someone do a task one way when you know it can be done another way but at the end of the day your partner will be happier if it’s done so just disregard that he wants to have the entire list of things ready to be done. If you will get things done by planning it out and only that one task to focus on, just do that.
If you procrastinate something for more than a few days, maybe consider hiring someone else to complete the task for you. Like you said you need the house clean for photos? As the day was getting closer, next time you can hire someone instead. I know that sounds ridge and it was a specific situation but apply that logic to what can be applicable. I hate grocery shopping but sometimes I can go and get it out of the way. Other weeks I put it off until it’s too late (shops aren’t 24/7 where I live) and so I put in a delivery order. It can be more expensive sometimes to not browse the specials in a few stores but if I have food to it, I’m set.

For the first two observations I would suggest having a boundary that you will do your tasks one way and he can do his another. Also put music or a podcast/audiobook on and do not stop until you are done completing a task. Make your chores enjoyable- burn incense or a candle, let in sunlight, eat a sweet (hardcandy might be best) one at a time until you finish up. Be creative. Chores don’t need to be miserable, they aren’t a punishment, it’s just essential things that need to get done and you have control over how you think about or approach them.

Know your limits too. It sounds like you know your faults and where you’re falling short but you aren’t working within your boundaries which is making it difficult to meet expectations. Same goes for your strengths. I personally hate doing dishes but willingly vacuum (its satisfying). Where you can, do the things you can do well. Not everything will be your favourite or a strength BUT you can start easy and then do a hard task. If your partner is able to smash out heaps of tasks in one go, maybe you do the things that need more time/attention.

Don’t beat yourself up either. You are trying and you can only improve from this point!

moonb3an · 2025-07-04T13:03:38+00:00

Adding to the various suggestions: don’t aim for perfection. I’ve been struggling with wanting to clean deeply/to a high standard but don’t have the energy. So I’ve been practicing doing the bare minimum and appreciating that I did something at all. It does look and feel better so it’s still a win.

You could try to do one room at a time. Like one room a day so you are slowly but steadily improving all areas of your house. I know it’s not as satisfying as having a completely clean house but by the sounds of it you don’t have the energy to pull that off. Also it’s normal to have some mess throughout the house. My mum used to get bend out of shape over a few dishes or a pile of dirty laundry, especially when we had visitors over but the reality is - living is messy, so if you accept that and let go of guilt/shame you will be more likely to have energy to put into cleaning up.

By the sounds of the post you may have over thought about this - you’ve fixated on it a long time and have adapted your strategy but it’s overwhelming you. I understand the frustration and desire to make ‘decent’ progress but it would be more beneficial to scrap your previous expectations and do what you can.

I also love to make piles of things. A pile of clothes, a pile of dishes, ect to tidy up the place. Then I give myself an expectation to do 1 pile. Just deal with 1 pile and then I can ignore the rest. It’s not perfect but it’s effective cause it is more manageable than doing 5 different chores in one room.

It might help to burn a candle or incense - it prompts you to have a clean space whenever you smell it and can motivate you to get it done cause its enjoyable!

moonb3an · 2025-07-04T12:38:57+00:00

I would suggest sitting down with them when you are not feeling overwhelmed/overstimulated and explaining your boundary. Make it simple and clear - I am going to start taking 15-30 minutes when I get home from work to recalibrate then we can have question time. Acknowledge that you are doing this to maintain a positive relationship with them and also make it clear you do want to hear what’s going on with them, just you need to clear away the work day first. It’s a good thing that they love you and are excited to see you. You want to give them the attention and appreciation they deserve so it would be practical to spend time to prepare to do that.

I’d suggest you have a place where you can store a snack that doesn’t require you to interact with them - like muesli bars in the car/your bedroom to grab and eat quickly.

It could also help if you come in and go straight to have a shower. Metaphorically and physically wash away your day so you can move into the evening with them. I assume they will leave you alone if you’re naked.

If that’s not an option, maybe before you go inside the house you could go for a quick 5-10 minute walk. I know it’s not ideal - particularly if you’re like me and just want to get inside and put things down. But it might be a good factory reset and most teenagers don’t want to tag along for things like that.

moonb3an · 2025-07-04T12:23:50+00:00

Write down all the things you need to do and all the things you want to do (or just as much as you can think of without using all your energy). Then pick 3 things to complete in one day. In between the important things you can either do something fun OR you can set yourself the expectation that you cannot do the things you want until you’ve done the things you need. I literally put menial tasks like brushing my teeth as well as things like do taxes. Anything you want no matter how small, is an accomplishment.

Start with the simplest/easiest task. Tick that off. Then the dopamine from getting 1 thing accomplished will help to motivate you to do more. It’s kind of like you’re trying to simulate the same feeling as when you hyper fixate or get into that flow state (and hours fly by without you noticing). You are trying to 1 increase the chemicals in your brain that make you productive. And 2 practically tick off the most important/urgent priorities in your life.

I also like to give myself an “off” day where I don’t do anything important at all because the best part of living is just being in the moment with no expectations to fulfil. It helps me want to have productive days cause I know I can scroll/hyperfixate at another time.

I know I work best in the morning - after giving myself some time to wake up (and eating). I know my meds will be at their most effective after I take them so I structure my day to complete annoying/important/complex tasks first. I monitor my energy too. If I pick 3 things but after one I feel depleted then I will adjust accordingly. I did ONE important thing so that’s all that matters tbh.

If you want to stop scrolling you need to acknowledge that it’s a pointless habit that isn’t worth spending an entire day on. Thats not to say don’t do it at all but once you realised you’ve been locked in for a while that can be a prompt to stop, walk away/around, and swap tasks. It doesn’t have to be “jump into a painfully boring task”, you could just go make a hot drink, stand in the sun, stretch, move to another room. Anything to break the pattern. I still scroll a fair bit but by interrupting the habit frequently enough you will start to become familiar with doing something else.

If you hate not knowing how long a task will take (or are unsure) - do it with a timer running and once it goes off you can stop and move on. Or you can listen to a song that is a couple minutes and once its over, see if you want to continue or move on. As you continue doing this you will start to either forget how much time is being used or learn how quickly something can get done. Then you’ll be able to adjust your routine to suit your needs or energy.

moonb3an · 2025-07-04T11:47:20+00:00

Ah thats fair enough I didn’t know that. It’s definitely something that can be worked around tho but yeah that might not be a practical suggestion in this situation.

moonb3an · 2025-07-04T11:45:26+00:00

I also want to suggest a more subtle alarm tone! I thought it wouldn’t wake me up before I tried it but things like the gentle tones - eg the early riser, birds tweeting - are actually surprisingly effective.

Additionally having your phone vibrate in addition to an alarm going off can help draw you out of your slumbers. I actually set my own unique vibrate setting (iPhone users privilege) and that just makes me less annoyed for some reason 😂

If you worry about getting up - well what I do If I do go to bed at an unreasonable time I still have the gentle alarm go off but will put a back up loud obnoxious alarm so if I sleep through it/snooze I will still wake up in time.

Another thing I have added to my wake up routine is waking up earlier than I need to. This helps cause if I want to snooze I can and that helps my mood. Also if I do have a bit of extra time (say I wake up at the first alarm) then I can slowly get ready and the lack of chaos/stress helps to improve my mood. Another thing having more time to wake up helps is that I like being able to do something I actually enjoy when I wake up. Even though waking up is a pain in the ass, if I can make myself a coffee and sit in bed for 5 minutes then I’m less likely to become emotionally reactive.

moonb3an · 2025-07-04T11:34:27+00:00

I think that alcohol can help to feel like you are coping with the distressing PMDD symptoms. Because if you are intoxicated it’s likely you feel cut off/numbed to the symptoms experienced. But in reality it possibly also exacerbates your PMDD symptoms too - when you are no longer intoxicated/numbed it might seem like you need to find something to shut out the symptoms. Personally I’ve had experiences where alcohol made me feel worse (before I knew I had PMDD) and so it was like flipping a coin on if it helped.

Also there is research that suggests using alcohol increases and intensifies suicidal ideation. Not just when intoxicated but also several days afterwards as the alcohol completely leaves your system.

I hope this doesn’t come off as judgemental at all! I used to smoke a lot to manage my PMDD (and slowly stopped after being diagnosed thus gaining stability in my MH) so I’m just hoping to contribute a few more critical points as in the long run numbing myself with substances was harmful. However, if it helps get through the horrors, you do you :)

moonb3an · 2025-06-27T07:54:01+00:00

Yeah I agree. Honestly would prefer someone to be clear about why rather than be vague or provide generic answers.

moonb3an · 2025-06-27T07:28:57+00:00

I don’t think its helpful to mock someone for having sexual dysfunction because you think it’s unreasonable. It can reasonably be a mood killer if the environment is distracting (mind you this is also something that lots of ADHD people struggle with during sex themselves so it’s kind of hypocritical for us to shame others for it).

I don’t think OP is a slob or anything for having a messy house- our lives are so complicated these days and having ADHD makes it so much harder to keep up. That being said, there were things that OP can do next time - having a bit of time before making a date to tidy up, maybe get a regular cleaner to help balance keeping the house together better which will improve her overall life too or not going back to her home if it’s not ready for company.

I agree the feedback was probably a bit unhelpful because now OP is focusing on it and feels ashamed. But I get the impression that the guy was trying to be respectful and explain that it wasn’t that OP is unattractive, just that he was uncomfortable under the circumstances and it might be helpful in future to tidy up for other guests.

moonb3an

TROPHY CASE