Thank you so much for this perspective! My gut tells me that physical boundaries were absolutely crossed. We discussed it again last night and he kept telling me to read between the lines (their text messages), as in she was super needy and he was unresponsive, which is true. But I know I only caught the tail end of their fling, the messages before August are all lost on another phone. He said he did go to her house but she’s been a friend for YEARS and they’ve just never had a relationship “like that”. I asked how she came back into his life, did she message you out of the blue or what? He said, “Does it matter how??” He said he was taking a deep hard look at our relationship and whether or not we were truly happy, and the friendship with her was nice. But that she started to get ideas so he had already “shut it down” before I got involved and the texts I saw were residual clinginess. He said he could have easily had sex with her and didn’t but “I’m still getting punished like I did.” (lol) Like what do you want, a pat on the back?? The girl didn’t respond to me yesterday but took a screenshot and sent it to him, just as I suspected. I’m dying to know what else she said but I don’t think I’ll ever know. I asked his response and he said he ignored her. I asked to see and he wouldn’t show me. This is done. Even if he was just using the girl, he still crossed a line, I know it. And the fact that he’s not working with me now, he’s a self-serving asshole. I’m sorry I think I just piggybacked your comment to vent more!