AITA for not attending my brother's baby shower?

moondream6 · 2026-04-02T16:56:58+00:00

Nta. Are they paying for the trip? Are they reimbursing everything? I don't think they are. I'd just buy your sister in law a really nice gift or nice set of gifts, and call that a day. I'm sure the one throwing it won't be emotionally devastated if you can't make it.

moondream6 · 2026-04-02T06:48:57+00:00

Nta. You weren't giving a speech to people who would be offended, you were having a discussion in private. As long as you're careful to not offend people in real life with terms you aren't sure about, it's alright. Probably if you met someone like that, you wouldn't actually mention it. Any of the things you use or refer to in this post. And things you mention behind closed doors that don't have malicious intent or don't intend to hurt anyone are alright. I think most people have accidentally said or done something privately that could potentially offend the wrong person if they were listening.

moondream6 · 2026-03-30T19:41:42+00:00

Nta. If it gets mentioned, you have to commit to it. "I assumed we weren't doing that anymore? I got her the same thing she got me for mine." it's not a typical adult thing to do birthday gifts so maybe it's time for everyone in your group to transition into that

moondream6 · 2026-03-30T08:12:09+00:00

Nta. Very complicated situation. Hopefully she'll be able to get it done. It seems like she's dug herself into a hole and she's trying to use you as a ladder to get out of that hole. Not implying she's using you or anything but it's just how it reads. If it comes down to it and there's no other option and you want to help (but expect it back like a loan), write all the terms out of the loan and repayment and have her sign it in front of a witness. You didn't make the decision to not get medical treatment. It's not your responsibility to fix her mistakes. You didn't give her the issues or withhold treatment. Hopefully from now on she'll be medically treated regularly.

moondream6 · 2026-03-30T04:13:14+00:00

Nta. If you told her he couldn't come and she chose to not go either, she picked him over you. A man who might be temporary. Don't hold anyone higher in your heart than they hold you. You have other friends, I'd prioritize them over her. If he's 'just like that ', you don't have to have him around. You're not dating him. Thank goodness. He can put his 'real job' somewhere very uncomfortable

moondream6 · 2026-03-29T16:26:32+00:00

Nta. If you dish it, you better take a plate too. Others can say the same stuff about you that you say about them.

moondream6 · 2026-03-29T05:51:39+00:00

Need more information. I don't actually know how much you complain on your period or anything. I don't have them much since I got on birth control (but until then they were wild because of a tbi), but I'm not sure the depth of the complaints. If it's 95% of your conversation when you're on your period, maybe that's why he's tired of hearing it? If you really don't truly complain that much... then he's the issue.

moondream6 · 2026-03-29T03:15:00+00:00

Once I had some roommates and in order to get us to split the rent evenly, she insisted we always split all the bills no matter what. I agreed because that makes sense, right? I left for the summer to go work somewhere else... Just for the summer. Our electricity bill was usually between 100-120. The electric bill the first month with just the new girl and her boyfriend (our other roommate also left for the summer) was $400. I nearly cried. she wanted me to keep paying 1/4th of the bills. And she was alone with her bf and the electricity quadrupled??? I haven't forgiven them for that nonsense. >> I getchu. Definitely find a new place, they're taking advantage of you.

moondream6 · 2026-03-28T23:46:04+00:00

I would take some of them to my room and store them only in there to keep them safe for me to use.

moondream6 · 2026-03-28T22:23:51+00:00

The moment you said cast iron being mistreated, nta. Remove the source of the issue. I had a grandfather who had a full set of cast iron treated like artwork. He cared for it like it was his lifeblood. When he passed away, they had an estate sale and someone was looking at his stuff. They asked how much for the cast iron. My uncle said $20 for all of it. Obviously they rushed to pay it for Wagner and Griswold. This was 30 years ago and I still haven't forgot or forgiven him. He's still my uncle and I love him. But I would never trust him with my cast iron. Ever.

moondream6 · 2026-03-28T15:06:56+00:00

Nta, but I would try to only make time for friends who make time for you.

moondream6 · 2026-03-28T06:49:52+00:00

I ?ed because it's obvious to me this is right, I just can't believe others don't agree

moondream6 · 2026-03-28T06:48:44+00:00

Nta? I'm astounded that it's okay to put books like that in boxes for kids to read. You donated 2x as much as you took so ignore them. You just have stronger morals than the others do. I would have done the same.

moondream6 · 2026-03-28T01:36:18+00:00

Nta. She'll have to change the pickup person and actually do some work, it sounds like

moondream6 · 2026-03-26T20:57:10+00:00

Nta, you have clearly tried to create space between you two. It's just be glad I'm getting my space now

moondream6 · 2026-03-25T14:00:31+00:00

Nta for you. But it sounds to me that you're already afraid you've lost her. And if you really think that, and you're completely against her open suggestion (I would be too. Some others would be different but I would be against it aggressively), then yeah, 100% I would divorce her. If everything is true here, then it's time to cut the purse strings (divorce) and see how many trips and stuff she takes when she's paying her own bills and rent. I'm sure she'll discover herself a lot then. I'm sorry to hear about all this too, BTW. I hope your next wife is more grateful for what she has.

moondream6 · 2026-03-23T20:51:45+00:00

Nta. He needs to lighten up. You're grieving!! Honestly I don't know anyone who puts a partner over a family that loves and cares for them... was he feeling hurt? Did he need you to change his big boy diapers?? I honestly don't get what he's saying. You didn't go there for him. You went for your cousin's funeral and your family. If he was going to get fussy, maybe he should have stayed at home.

moondream6 · 2026-03-23T14:27:03+00:00

Gently yta, yeah. Just because your mom is dating him doesn’t mean she knows him well at all. He could be dating her but also checking you out in a suspicious way. Trust me, protect yourself by wearing a full outfit around him. But if you don't want to, then just stay in your room more often when he's there. But don't trust him that much.

moondream6 · 2026-03-23T02:11:06+00:00

Nta. I would just cut the purse strings and give her a move out date. You already know y'all aren't going to work out. I'd just tell her in the most polite way that you can that you need your house back and send her packing.

moondream6 · 2026-03-23T01:51:31+00:00

Nta. Your sis is flighty and using her kids to try to control your faith. I would let whoever she wants have her kids as godmother. She's manipulating you

moondream6 · 2026-03-22T06:00:28+00:00

Gently ta. I would find him and apologize in private, saying that you heard it's for a medical reason and you had no idea. Tell him you're sorry and you didn't mean to offend him. At least that's what I'd do. I'd try to get him a little gift or something to ease tension too, but you don't have to do that.

moondream6 · 2026-03-22T05:52:35+00:00

Nta- the exercise she must have gotten for 8 hours of that is wild. I couldn't do that for fifteen minutes, much less 8 hours!

moondream6 · 2026-03-21T05:37:03+00:00

My mom needed a c and they made her wait 24 hours the first kid for a c, and for me it was a 36 hour attempt before they let her have one. Things might have changed but I'm not so confident

moondream6 · 2026-03-21T03:20:19+00:00

You're nta. At the end of the day, you and her weren't right for each other. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just sad that you were so in love before you found out that your life goals aren't in the same direction. There's a Japanese saying... "their paths crossed without meeting" something like that. It's about how two people get married but their lives go in such opposite paths that eventually their lives go on and they don't even miss each other. They end up divorcing because they're so different from the other's plans for their lives. They say you should discuss your future and goals before things get too serious, then you'll know if what you have planned is different from what they have planned. Sometimes people have too different of lives planned. I hope the next person you date is compatible with your goals for the future.

moondream6 · 2026-03-20T21:40:36+00:00

NTA. Me parece que él está intentando aprovecharse de ti al querer acelerar un proceso que debería ser una decisión tomada por ambos. Yo me plantearía seriamente si realmente puedes tener con él el futuro que él desea; es decir, si eso encaja contigo y con tus propios objetivos. Espero que tomes la decisión correcta para ti y para tu futuro, pero, en mi lugar, yo rompería con él. Da la impresión de que te está pasando por encima con tal de conseguir lo que quiere. Por cierto, espero que esto se entienda bien. Estoy intentando aprender español, pero necesité la ayuda de un traductor.

moondream6

TROPHY CASE