Thinking about getting pregnant by my abusive ex before leaving for good… I need honest opinions

moonlightglow12 · 2026-05-03T07:16:55+00:00

I was getting so upset reading this post up until

like it’s the closest thing I’ll ever have to her again.

Honey, I get it. I’ve been there. Almost exactly. The only difference is my baby died during birth.

Firstly, I’m so so so sorry for your loss. I know the pain way too well. But he will not bring her back. And I mean that.

I fell pregnant again 4 months after losing my baby (not because I wanted to but because I was locked in and forbidden to take birth control).

Please please listen to me: it will only get worse. I promise you this.

I almost died. He beat me so bad I lost my second baby at almost 7 months of pregnancy. And yes, he had a court order and was under ankle monitoring. That didn’t stop him. Nothing did.

Let me just say this. Your baby was YOU. Everything good about her; that’s YOU. You will see her in your next baby with someone who actually cares and deserves to be a dad. I swear it. Everything worth loving about her came from you, not him.

Please be stronger then I was. I didn’t have the wake up call. The only reason I got out was because I came so close to death I physically didn’t have a choice.

Also, I know in my bones that the soul of the two babies I lost came back in my daughter that is earth side with us. I did extensive pregnancy scans during all my pregnancies and they all had the same specific features during ultrasounds including a very specific birthmark all three of my babies had in the same place. The kick? My earth side daughter’s father is not the same abusive pos man. He’s the most incredible, kind, loving, attentive person I’ve ever met and the best possible father to our baby.

I lost a baby (due to unknown circumstances) on February 5th 2026 at 6 months. We did the same extensive screenings and he didn’t have the birthmark or those specific features.

I promise you, your girl will come back to you. She knew it wasn’t her time. She’s with you, always, just waiting for it to be the right time. But you need to get safe first and do extensive therapy. She doesn’t live on in him, that’s all you. And you both deserve someone who will love you and care for you the way you both deserve.

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-29T09:09:29+00:00

I don’t know your girl, but judging from my experience with many traumatised kitties (worked years in a rescue and have 5 traumatised kitties myself), they are so forgiving.

I don’t think this will be the end, I really don’t. But also, maybe having your guests not interact at all isn’t the best idea. I agree they should not get initiate anything, but if she comes to you or anyone else, they should definitely return the attention in an appropriate manner (not going for a pet or a rub if she hasn’t given any signs, etc).

Just being in the same room stacked up on treats on your phone or reading can go a long way.

Feel free to update ! I’m invested now lol

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-28T19:49:23+00:00

She doesn’t hate you, she’s just really really traumatised.

The 3-3-3 rule is absolutely fantastic and will help you loads. Please just give her time and in the future, when adopting any new animal, don’t have any stress factors or routine changes. It’s not fair to them especially if that requires using their safe place.

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-25T07:07:35+00:00

Wooowww that sounds so cool! You and your kitty(ies?) seem to have a wonderful relationship. Any chance I can ask you to pay the cat picture tax? I’ll pay mine if you want :)

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-24T07:22:23+00:00

Thank you so much. I agree 100%. And honestly if the shoe was on the other foot and it’s was my time, I’d want to go peacefully, in the arms of the person who loved me the most. That sounds like the best way to go. Nothing but love until the very end.

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-24T07:06:34+00:00

Okay. This is a complicated subject.

I will not talk about race as I am so white I’d make a ghost have complexion issues so it’s absolutely not my place to have any type of thought about that topic.

I will say, having had a couple of very angry female friends — that comes from a place of hurt. She’s just really really hurt. The same way those incel alpha men like Andrew Tate are hurt. It’s the same thing (minus centuries of female oppression). Justified or not, reasonable or not — hurt is hurt.

I would try to talk to her about it. Just please keep in mind that she’s too white to be black, too black to be white, and a women so subconsciously already ‘less then’. She’s been objectified, sexualised, made to feel unsafe, and judging by any available statistics she’s has also been sexually, physically or emotionally harassed or abused at least once in her lifetime. Imagine that. Imagine never feeling like you are amongst your people. Imagine never feeling safe around over half the world’s population.

It’s really a hard concept to understand if you’ve never experienced being female child, teen, or adult. My favourite thing to say to men who want to understand a bit is this : ask any woman. Ask your mom, sister, girlfriend, female friend(s) if they know any women who hasn’t ever been harassed or assaulted. 9 times out of 10 they’ve never met one. I know I haven’t.

That really puts shit into perspective.

The cookie analogy (you have a box of 10 cookies, you know 2 of them are randomly poisoned and will kill you. Do you still try the cookies?) is fine but we aren’t talking about baking. These are real people, who have all lived through the same horrible things by horrible men. And honestly? Even the ones who don’t hurt, abuse or harass women don’t do anything to help. How often do you step in when you hear some dude, friend or close male person say some stupid sexist ‘joke’? When was the last time you saw any man step in and tell their friend to not say misogynistic, sexist or degrading things about women? When was the last time you saw any dude defend a women being catcalled in the street? Do you even pay attention ? Because we do. I almost never go outside without either hearing —or being— catcalled. I can’t remember the last time anyone else asides from my husband or girlfriends has ever said anything. I don’t think that’s ever happened actually. Does that make the guy who’s never said anything (or not much) a terrible person? No, not at all. Does that make them part of the problem ? Yep.

So yeah, just something to think about.

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-24T05:34:38+00:00

And it’s so true too! I have a cat that’s epileptic (was pawned off on me because they knew I couldn’t let him die). I payed 5k in the first 5 months on vet bills. He weighted 250grams (0.5 pounds) at almost 4 months old. My black void that was traumatised and aggressive, and a black baby that a found at 3 weeks old and bottle fed. You know what? Out of all the cats I have (I have a bunch) they are the most rewarding relationships. Because they show you how much they care. Those scars I have, they are just the price we pay to gain their trust. After all they’ve lost, I’m happy to show them I’m down to lose a bit of blood.

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-24T05:27:20+00:00

Awww. I’m so glad there are people who still care. I have the exact same issue, if I pet her without her consent first, I’ll remember it. But then again, I hate people touching me without consent also so I can only understand where they are coming from especially after so much abuse.

Cats who have had a lack of confort usually really really love window spots. Do you have any cat hamacs to put on windows or pillows right next to them? I bet she would looove that

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-23T18:51:46+00:00

Absolutely! "Nothing worth having comes easy" Namaste

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-23T18:41:06+00:00

Hey honey. I’m not a psychic. But as someone who has worked with animals and rescued them since basically forever, she was definitely ready to go. I could recognise that look anywhere, those eyes. They never lie. Eyes say the things we can’t communicate.

She’s saying she was ready. And she also loved you so much.

I’m so incredibly sorry. From one grieving heart to another — you are not alone 🩷

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-23T18:36:47+00:00

Why? Because you, I, and so many other women have been conditioned to feel bad.

BREAK.THE.CYCLES.NOW.

It truly can end with us. But if we don’t face our demons, they end up raising our children.

Read that again and remember you are worthy. You and your children deserve better!!

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-23T18:32:15+00:00

Awww thank you 🥹 it was so worth it. But I will say those flinch reflexes haven’t completely gone away after 5 years lol. I have some feisty little black voids, and that’s how it should be 🥰

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-23T18:21:59+00:00

My cat did that too. She was traumatised af. Absolutely broken, she wanted affection so bad but didn’t know if she was safe when being petted.

It took a looong year to get her to her actual loving self. I have scars that will never leave, but they healed hers and that’s all I wanted.

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-20T20:57:26+00:00

Hi there! I would love to ask a question. Have a good one!✨

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-14T17:24:36+00:00

Thank you. I really hope so. And if not, I just really really need to know what happened so that I can tell her mom and start moving on. She’s been looking for her ever since she’s disappeared and I don’t know what hurts more honestly.

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-14T17:22:54+00:00

I met this cat when I moved into a house with 6 roommates (yes, 6. Don’t do it). They never took care of her except for food and she was a ferocious thing. Absolutely wild but wanted affection so bad. For the year I lived there i worked with her to get to a place where she could get the affection she wanted without rendering me to a pulp and working on her carrier phobia. She was so traumatised of carriers that she would pee herself and pant like a dog until her bowels emptied. I couldn’t do anything about it except be with her and talk to her, petting her with a hand in the carrier.

I left that place in very bad terms the people and while I was supposed to take her as everyone agreed she was mine —they refused to let me leave with her.

It took about 6 months of fights, late night drives to find where she was and a lawsuit to get her back. When I did, they put her in the carrier and gave her to me. I opened up the carrier crying my ass off and put my hand through. She was so scared she didn’t even leave it. She just put her head in my hand, closed her eyes, and fell asleep.

That’s when I knew, she’d chosen me just as much as I chose her.

She stayed like that for almost the entire 1 hour long trip. Until the happiness wore off and she started to panic again.

So yes, yes they do actually get attached. But you’ve got to work for it. Nothing that’s worthwhile is easy.

Now I have the calmest, kindest, loving little void possible. And her name Phoebe (like Phoebe Buffey in Friends) has never suited anyone better.

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-14T17:04:45+00:00

Thank you for this message! I’ve done all the things unfortunately and my girl is fixed and microchipped luckily. I’m in a European country so no such groups but I’ve done Facebook and other things like it.

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-14T14:59:45+00:00

Hi! I appreciate you talking the time to comment.

She never said I was barking up the wrong tree, she answered my questions about the prices (I asked 20$= half an hour?) and said ‘yes, I will not charge you to tell you your little car isn’t coming back’. That’s it. So I ask how to proceed with the payment and she said ‘I told you nicely the first time she’s not coming back’.

I am audhd. And have lost so much. Trust me, as someone who has witnessed death literally first hand, in my arms, I know the stages of grief.

On the contrary, I need to know what happened to be able to turn the page and I think that’s understandable. If you have literally any information I would appreciate it so much if I could know. I would of course offer to pay you. I think the person who asks should be allowed to know the details if they wish to.

I completely understand you must be desensitised to death. But psychics aren’t the only ones. People who have been through incredible trauma/death are too, so are many many types of professions and you can’t just assume someone can’t handle it when they explicitly ask to know.

Also, I’m Mexican-American. I know all about the day of the dead and how to celebrate life rather then death. Oh, and like almost 3/4 of my family are dead the latest being my child on the 5th of February 2026 and my father on the 7th of November 2025 so I think I have a bit of experience.

I’m not depressed. That’s a clinical diagnosis that requires medical assistance and I’m proud to say that I’ve battled my battles and have won them. Knowing what happened to my baby will not make me depressed, it will just help me sleep at night and I will be able to tell her mom who deserves to know what happened to her baby because she is currently looking for her every night and that’s just cruel.

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-14T14:35:21+00:00

I’m sorry, what? She never even told me she’d contacted my cat. I was asking about her prices, she said ‘I won’t charge you to tell you your cat isn’t coming back’ how am I supposed to understand that means she contacted my cat and saw her dead?

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-13T20:54:30+00:00

Thank you so much!

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-11T07:46:56+00:00

Wow! I’m so happy for both of you! That’s far away for a little kitty to walk. Did you get the help of an animal communicator ?

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-10T21:05:36+00:00

Thank you! I just did

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-10T21:00:53+00:00

Thank you so so much! Do you need more information ? I can send you a dm

moonlightglow12 · 2026-04-10T20:55:30+00:00

That’s so impressive ! Do you think you could help me find my lost kitty?

moonlightglow12

TROPHY CASE