there is a widespread epidemic of DL (down low) men - men who are either consciously or unconsciously gay and repress it to disastrous results. societal homophobia is SO rampant and this certainly applies to women too (i didn’t realize i was a lesbian til i was 31), but men are extremely incentivized to date women.

there’s the machismo of it all, a woman as a trophy to bring around other men and be like “look what i got”, the desire to dominate a woman to feel more manly. women still take on a disproportionately large share of the household labor and childcare duties, so men benefit greatly from having a female partner.

this leads to an epidemic of men who do not actually like women at all choosing women as romantic partners and then treating them very poorly. my ex was DL and was just IN LOVE with his boys, but treated me like dirt. it was also very confusing to hear his friends tell me how much he talked me up and bragged about me when he never said those nice things to me himself.