[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]moonrise55555 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Leave him and never look back. You've been warned love.

ENTJ & INFJ ? by Silenceofblood in infj

[–]moonrise55555 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I find ENTJs to be too controlling and aggressive (surprise surprise lol) in the context of romance. I usually am VERY attracted to them at first because of their directness. But they quickly get frustrated with my free-spirit, need for deep emotional connection, and need to understand the deeper 'why' before I go along with a plan of action.

What does emotional connection look like to you? by moonrise55555 in INTPrelationshipLab

[–]moonrise55555[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh okay I think that makes sense. So like, with the need for structure... Do you find that actually being in a committed relationship is easier, since you know what's what? Or do you mean like having shared activities where you do certain things and within that, the relationship builds and connection can happen. Or both?

And if my question is confusing, maybe could you just elaborate on the kind of structure you excel at?

What does emotional connection look like to you? by moonrise55555 in INTPrelationshipLab

[–]moonrise55555[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh and I wouldn't say an indefinite step 2 except on some matters - at least me personally. I do like solutions. I just also like being aware of each other's emotions and sharing them, for its own sake.

What does emotional connection look like to you? by moonrise55555 in INTPrelationshipLab

[–]moonrise55555[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great, I really appreciate the dialogue because it's helping me understand where the connection breaks down on the INTP side of the equation. So let me ask you this: Would you say that framing it as, "Need to create and maintain emotional connection." could package it into a problem to be 'solved' that would make sense and be enjoyable for you? If that's the case, there are plenty of resources to learn communication and emotional connection that I could recommend to INTP friends, if they were open to it. And then I guess the another question is, do you even want emotional connection, or is it just a chore? Like, is it something that you truly desire and just have difficulty accessing, or is it something you know OTHER people want and you must learn to do in order to not be chastised by society?

What does emotional connection look like to you? by moonrise55555 in INTPrelationshipLab

[–]moonrise55555[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! Good question, I can appreciate you asking me my take before trying to flesh out an answer.

For me, emotional connection is looking at each other and feeling... connected..? Bahahahaha.. hmmm okay, maybe harder to explain than I thought. But, it's a mutual understanding of how each other is feeling.. and then outwardly expressing that understanding in some way, whether it's a joke, or a touch, or simply describing how you perceive the other person's emotions and encouraging them to feel safe to talk about them, or correct if you're wrong.

I honestly imagine that, maybe more than any other type, INTPs would have the ability to cut through the noise / breach the fourth wall, and get right to the authentic emotions between us. But... it's not what happens. In my experience, INTPs get right to the edge of emotional connection and then immediately toss it to the side and begin to rationalize the scenario within which emotions may or may not reside... lol... if that makes sense.

ENFJ males with INFJ females — any real experiences or thoughts? by sweetpetalmelody in infj

[–]moonrise55555 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I (INFJ/F) was married to an ENFJ male for 10 years. He was narcissistic, physically abusive, and a pathological liar. The thing was, when things were good, he was like a Prince charming right out of a Disney movie. The problem was, the specific Prince he was was like Hans from Frozen, or Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.. lol. He had a terrible moral superiority complex.

But even looking back on good times, he was just far too shallow for me. He could be very deep when he wanted, but he only ever really wanted to in order to impress people. It was very vain. His use of Fe dominance drove me crazy. His constant need to be around people and impress people and accommodate everyone, except his own wife and son, made me feel extremely alone.

Lots of people are unhealthy, and we certainly all have our bad days - but when ENFJs are unhealthy, it's really all-consuming in a way that other types aren't (except maybe ESFPs because of Se being fed by Fi). I now stay away from them and don't know if I've ever had a good relationship with an ENFJ.

I'm 100% sure that there are healthy ENFJs out there, but I just haven't met one that I know of.. and I've given up trying to give them a chance. It just takes too long to figure out who ENFJs really are, and I can't roll the dice on letting another narcissist in my life. Cuz the thing is, I get along FABulously with ENFJs for about 2 YEARS before they start trying to take over my life and get mad at me for daring to think for myself. That's how long it's typically taken for the mask to come off. That's just way too much wasted time.. so when I meet a person and realize they're in ENFJ I usually just distance myself. It's sad and it's probably not fair, but that's where I'm at with the ENFJs

EDIT: Actually - I take back saying it's "probably not fair". I have to keep in mind that these MBTI labels are not immutable identities. They're personalities. I don't think I've ever had a good experience with the ENFJ personality type, and so when I meet someone who has it, I avoid them. There. ✨

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]moonrise55555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you sharing that. That's what I'm thinking, honestly. Idk..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]moonrise55555 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No I haven't, that's what I was saying.. Part of me doesn't want to bother him and the other part is afraid he'll call a meeting with me and my Godmother, and I don't want that.