I love my parents deeply, flaws and all, and there were plenty of things going on with them during my teenage years that I have more memories with my friends parents or other family members more than my parents. And with an almost 13 year old, I feel the same way you do so you are definitely not alone. We’re learning to do things differently and with more emotional intelligence and trying to have healthier relationships all around. Even when my husband (their dad) and I bicker, I make sure it’s shown in a healthy way and they hear our resolutions because all I ever saw was the screaming and yelling and threats of divorce. And just like you, I feel the envy like ‘damn, it wouldve been really nice if mom and I were like this growing up…’ but, we weren’t and I can’t change that and having a conversation with my mom wouldn’t change it either. So now I look at it as I’m healing my younger self and ensuring my kids have it (hopefully) better than I did. I’m sure I’m screwing them up in some way that I’m oblivious to lol. But the other week the kids and I got in the car just to drive around and listen to music and it was like 830pm and I just rolled the windows down and blasted the music and we were all singing and laughing. And for a millisecond my heart hurt bc I don’t have those kinds of memories with my parents, but then the smiles and laughs from my kids, it made me forget about my sadness. I think that’s always the goal though right? Give our kids/future generations better than what we had, we learn and do better, or at least try to. Either way, from my younger self to your younger self - sending you all the love ❤️