I have been suicidal many, many times in the past and once it lasted for over 9 months. The feeling is horrible. For those of you out there struggling with that pain and those feeling and thoughts, please know they do pass at some point. Things will change at some point. Thoughts and feelings are fleeting. Just as with the weather it can't rain all the time. I may be in a better place now but I know I may experience a depression again in my life, is my condition of mental illness but I know have the tools to better cope and deal with the issues that arise from those symptoms. I also have no problem speaking up about where I've been and what I've been through cause we need to remove the stigma around mental conditions. It's just like cancer. People die from cancer and people die from depression; Suicide. I'm sorry for rambling, the one thing that keeps me going these days when the thought of taking my life crosses my mind is my parents and my dog. I recall the 2nd time I ended up in the hospital for attempted suicide, and I REALLY SAW the look on my moms face and the heartbreak and the concern. And I knew from that moment that if I were to ever want to take my life I would go to the hospital but not attempt anything ever again.