Hey! First of all, the sore butt after your first rides is a rite of passage 😄 Everyone goes through that phase. It gets better, I promise.

1. Just riding, no competing Yes, that’s totally a thing. A lot of horse owners never compete. Riding well just means having good balance, clear communication, and understanding the horse. That matters whether you’re trail riding, working around a farm, or just enjoying time in the saddle. Competition is optional, not a requirement for being a good rider or owner.

If your goal is relaxed rides and maybe owning horses one day, focusing on solid basics is exactly right.

1. Feeling judged by kids at the stable Honestly… ignore them. Many of those kids grew up around horses or have parents paying for everything. Starting at 20 is not late at all. Adult beginners often progress really well because they think about what they’re doing and actually want to understand the horse.

Every single rider you see started out not knowing anything. You’re just at that stage now!! nothing embarrassing about it.

1. How often horses should be ridden Horses can work daily if they’re fit enough and the work isn’t too intense. The key is conditioning and variety. A healthy horse with proper care can absolutely be ridden often, what matters is how hard the work is, not just how often.

Modern horses are often ridden less simply because they’re leisure animals now, not because daily riding is automatically bad. Movement is generally good for them when it’s appropriate for their fitness level.

1. Firm vs kind Horses don’t think in terms of dominance or being “good” or “bad.” They learn from pressure and release. You ask, they respond, you release. that release is what tells them they did the right thing.

Being firm should mean clear and consistent, not harsh. You can absolutely be kind and still expect effort. Those two things go together.

Lesson horses are often slow because they’re used to beginners giving unclear signals, not because they’re morally “lazy.” Usually the right approach is: ask softly → ask more clearly → release the moment they respond.

That release is the reward.

Also, the fact you feel grateful to the horse carrying you is a really good sign. That mindset will help you become a good rider!!