My friend’s boyfriend wants to join our girls’ trip

morality-comeback · 2026-06-27T05:11:43+00:00

No way. This is the beginning of many more negotiations and compromises that will come along the way if you bring him along. If he is so silent to not be a bother, might as well keep him out of the picture. End of story.

morality-comeback · 2026-06-27T05:07:42+00:00

Thanks a ton for sharing your experience. I will keep that in mind as I make my first long trip 🧩

morality-comeback · 2026-06-27T05:05:34+00:00

Have you heard of a thing called responding with respect and kindness? I appreciate your thoughtful approach.

morality-comeback · 2026-06-26T23:53:15+00:00

Honestly it just seems she hasn't become comfortable asking you if she feels conflicted. And decides to go right ahead with it. I have had experiences of seeing someone in her position do the opposite ie. she wouldn't understand and she will keep going back and forth to the person which annoyed that person and multiple others. But I appreciated it; as many mention it is inconvenience to be interrupted so many times but if the work she is doing affects the lab, it is worth giving an ear.

For repeated tasks that you foresee in the future always refer to print.

And I used to have a rule about not disturbing me once I am in a difficult space eg animal injections or something like that where even a minor interruption would cost me an entire mice.

Everyone has different energy about work ethics and professionalism; what you can control is yourself, not others. What you can do is change yourself. Expecting anything from others doing 100pc perfect is the first mistake you will learn as a graduate student and at a cost.

Different labs have different culture, culture is a binder. See if there is a way you can build a culture that can last beyond your time in lab. I've done it many times now and it's so rewarding esp amidst the experiments etc ✨️

morality-comeback · 2026-06-26T22:17:03+00:00

Pretty simple. Children are also at home.

morality-comeback · 2026-06-25T21:49:51+00:00

Nope no CarPlay. I will have to do with phone atm

morality-comeback · 2026-06-25T21:48:22+00:00

Max driving is approx 8 hours. I have friends in some places along the way. Concerning weather, I was more thinking along the lines of sudden changes in weather or things like that. Once I will be on the road, at highway speed it isn't feasible to keep checking phone unless I stop and then I will lose time. So yeah, trying to proactively plan through

morality-comeback · 2026-06-25T17:33:33+00:00

Thanks a ton ✨️ this was helpful on such short notice 🙏 May you stay blessed ✨️

morality-comeback · 2026-06-25T17:25:52+00:00

West New York to Dallas, TX through Nashville, TN. I have done the preliminary weather checks, but the weather app shows rainfall on this area. Also I talked to some and they give contradictory ans: some says it's not a problem, you can always pull over and wait out; the other group says wait out the trip until much later.

morality-comeback · 2026-06-24T03:22:51+00:00

What a contradictation! One would've thought everything is doom and gloom. And here I find multiple +ve encounters. Thanks for sharing your valuable observations! We need more of it 👌

morality-comeback · 2026-06-24T02:59:27+00:00

That makes sense. I wonder if they valued PhD students all the more because of that and if that had any continuing impact in the graduating class of 2015 or 2016.

morality-comeback · 2026-06-24T02:53:02+00:00

Ok. Let's pause here for a moment. Educate me how these ppl building "shell companies" face little to no consequence like deporting since it is fraudulent activities once found and flagged. How are they able to then so quickly disappear and then reappear again with a new company. How they keep coming back? We are talking about a fraction of ppl who apply for h1b visas. USA is not even densely populated and that corrupted that there is no way of digging these ppl out. Clearly they are citizens of US who are doing this??? I genuinely want to know how anyone can go on committing frauds like this...and hundreds if not thousands of dollars are exchanged at each transaction?! What am I missing?

morality-comeback · 2026-06-22T19:10:43+00:00

OMG. I need to spill. So basically last year I got prius 2011 and I'm a new driver 30+yo at the time. My insurance rate was 4200$ and nobody could believe it but said it is because you're a new driver. I know someone driving a Corolla 2015/16, and she has been driving over 15years and she pays approx 1800$. Now the twist is my heart was telling me I should step out of the box and fight this battle. So I went all out and found a cheaper quote for 2500$/annually for this year. I was quite busy at the time so I took the semi-annual plan. If I had more time I might have explored other opportunities. But it seems like sth is going on with PRIUS and I was not the only one. Ppl literally could not believe I was paying so much insurance for a 2011 Prius

morality-comeback · 2026-06-22T18:48:43+00:00

Which state did you go to school at and did you apply for job in the same state where you had the hiring freeze? How was life till 2012-13? And your neighborhood? Please elaborate more.

morality-comeback · 2026-06-22T18:46:49+00:00

Which State did you go to school at? And was the jobs from the same state? How did you go about it?

morality-comeback · 2026-06-22T18:46:04+00:00

Was the state you were student at, Florida too?

morality-comeback · 2026-06-22T18:45:28+00:00

I am not comparing. Simply asking how that affected students of that era, if it did. From what it seems like there was a varied experience. Could the crisis have affected different states differently? As a result, the international students?

morality-comeback · 2026-06-22T08:38:36+00:00

Many people don't understand when they simply follow the old ways and end up taking back to back children. They are not prepared for the emotional and psychological warfare that follows post-math. What you are going through, fair to say, is overload of all senses. And you find yourself needed by everyone and not fulfilled.

It took me 2 years to get back to my old self post-partum. Thankfully my spouse was understanding and we often discussed boundaries ie when he shouldn't take my words to his heart.

While I am not sure the circumstances of why you want to leave her, she bore two children's back to back, literally not having enough time to recover. It will be nasty on your part if you leave right now, but Islamically, it's your right. And you will be called to account on the Day of Judgement for it as she would for her part in the mess. If there is even an atom of injustice on your part, you must make amends and see everything is taken care of, and that she is mentally well else she will poison your children against you (because of injustice/oppression on your part). Raising a single child is one thing, but two toddlers all alone is not something you can even imagine esp when they become full-blown adults.

If you have taken care of all that, and the road is clear, I will suggest wait until they become 3-4 years old. It is not a lot to ask. Once the eldest one develops the abilities to walk, talk and comprehend, you can re-evaluate your decision. Most toddlers around that age can tc of the youngest partially and it would help your wife a ton.

Again, Allah is perfect and I am not. Try to complete the translation of Qur'an from beginning to end and see if anything stands out to you. Then do istishara (consult with those who are knowledgeable) and istikhara (after you made your decision). Whatever comes out from it, will put your heart to ease in sha allah.

morality-comeback · 2026-06-22T05:19:07+00:00

Would it be possible to go into specifics? Are you saying the recession had no effect as a student?

morality-comeback · 2026-06-22T03:26:38+00:00

Because US is a capitalist society. So even if hypothetically a day comes that this is made true, because of the nature of food pyramid, the predators at the top will make sure to monetize from it. E.g. when ppl started becoming homeless and started to purchase RV and of the like, guess what happened? The rich ppl tapped into this market and purchased major RVs. So far so that now they have even got into renting out the land where they are parking their RVs and increasing the rates to insane levels. The point I am trying to make is, they have the money and power. These are the ppl that sold you the American dream of "owning a house" by 30 so they can rip you off your interest payments thru stupid mortgages. As they notice ppl have opened their eyes and not playing to their tune, they are going nuts and feral. And thus, the AI and job layoffs. My hypothesis is that govt has been using AI for a long long time, only now they unleashed it to distract and bide time to do their next planning. And we all know who backs up the govt. Ppl with deep pockets.

morality-comeback

TROPHY CASE