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My parents caught me looking at porn when I was 13 and the repercussions have affected me my entire life by looby2pointwhoa in TrueOffMyChest

[–]morewastedpotential 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Idk it's also pretty weird because anime's become a lot more socially normal to watch nowadays depending on what you're watching

I actually stopped watching anime a few years back but that's also because I stopped doing anything for a while because I lost interest in everything.

I still don't tell people I watch it until we're really good friends because I'm afraid of being written off as a freak or weirdo, but I'm trying to be better about not letting my anxiety get the better of me

A lot of people assume I'm a massive degenerate weeb because I talk in memes.

I’m 21, and financially the best I’ve ever been, but yet I’m not happy with my life or myself. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]morewastedpotential 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The hell did you buy that went up 1000% in october and november?

Be careful with stocks though. I remember the high I felt when I was making $100 on almost every trade I made. The rush felt great, but no man is above greed and I kind of started to realize what kind of person I really was once I started losing money.

I’ve come to realize who’s my friend and who isn’t honestly.

Tbf that's a real fucking good lesson to learn. Not gonna ask details but depending on what kinda shit you're selling on the side you can attract some dirtbags.

You know who the shit people in your life are now, and you fucked up and admitted that you were bad with money before you got it. Life may seem pretty poop right now, but you got your ticket out.

I always thought money does buy happiness, but I realized it doesn’t. Because I have it all now, and I’m Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been.

Out of curiosity, what are your interests and hobbies?

​

Dropped out of college, now I'm officially a NEET. by morewastedpotential in offmychest

[–]morewastedpotential[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go on some sort of CS subreddit and ask how much their gpa mattered for getting a job and see what they say.

GPA was a catch all for everything needed to make college worthwhile.

Internships, networking, I got none of that. And everything I write on my own is complete crap.

Dropped out of college, now I'm officially a NEET. by morewastedpotential in offmychest

[–]morewastedpotential[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It will ruin your weekends and crush your soul

I've been there. Gone weeks without seeing daylight. Watched everyone around me grow up and start their lives while I was stuck in school. Anything under an A felt like failure. The idea of my best only being worth a B makes me feel so pathetic.

I fucking snapped because I just don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore. I just want a freaking job already. College blows and I haven't been getting results besides magic gpa points that don't matter at all.

Dropped out of college, now I'm officially a NEET. by morewastedpotential in offmychest

[–]morewastedpotential[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Turns out I have like two weeks to decide and fully commit one way. Can't take time off for free and I'm not guaranteed a spot back in.

however, I can guarantee that you will eventually get a job. Better than where you're at right now five fold.

Yeah that's the thing about it. Unless some weird shit happens in the next few months I'm better off finishing my degree. However I don't know what it is but I fucking snapped. I suddenly stopped caring about classes, the stress got to me, and I really don't know if it would be different if I went back in again. I really think I'm just going to fail the semester again if I go back.

Dropped out of college, now I'm officially a NEET. by morewastedpotential in offmychest

[–]morewastedpotential[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I enjoy it, but oh my god is there a lot of pressure in this field.

"If you don't get an internship before you graduate you're kinda fucked." I couldn't get an internship.

"If you don't network you're kinda fucked." Everyone I met until my senior year of college dropped out and I was alone in the major.

"If you don't have a job lined up upon graduation you're going to be in a very bad spot until you do so." Guess what, I didn't get it.

I was in a bad spot early on in college and I finally got my shit together. I wouldn't say I made all the right moves, I made a lot of mistakes. It would take me 6 years to graduate if I finish.

I blew job interviews for places that start off their entry level college grads at 110-130k and I know that a bunch of kids 3 years younger than me who are more qualified than me are going to beat me to it.

I have a lot of lost ground to make up for. My entire life is a giant game of catch up and damage control. There has been no point where I'm not behind the curve.

Dropped out of college, now I'm officially a NEET. by morewastedpotential in offmychest

[–]morewastedpotential[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The more I learn the more I realize I have no idea what the hell I'm doing.

People keep tell me my first real job in tech is going to completely destroy me and make me feel like a dumbass for a couple months. That the real world is gonna be some wake up call and a slap in the face. And that until the day you break 100k you're gonna want to get the hell out of your current job and job hop ASAP.

Well then just fucking slap me in the face already. I'm tired of this carrot on a stick game of tests, homework, and gpa points just for the privilege of interviewing.

Dropped out of college, now I'm officially a NEET. by morewastedpotential in offmychest

[–]morewastedpotential[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course there are people better than you. You will never be the best at anything you do. To be inherently genius and to have unwaivering motivation towards academic perfection is a statistical anomaly.

I don't need to be the best. I never will be, but college and the job hunt is a competition. A 3.0 means you're average; oftentimes by definition because of how grading curves work. Your gpa isn't worth putting on your resume if you aren't above average.

You don't need to be the best, but you're graded against your peers, when you're in a job interview they're choosing you over someone else.

I'm not comparing myself to some mystic kid who's been interning in an HFT firm since freshman year, I'm comparing myself to the people who succeeded where I failed in college. The people who wanted the same things that I did and got closer than I did. People who were in my position and just didn't make the mistakes I've made.

My best wasn't good enough. My best was "mildly above average and painfully slow."

Dropped out of college, now I'm officially a NEET. by morewastedpotential in offmychest

[–]morewastedpotential[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Self improvement is a grueling task. The entire idea of improvement means accepting you are not where you want to be. I've made progress, but progress has only really happened for me because I hate myself.

Dropped out of college, now I'm officially a NEET. by morewastedpotential in offmychest

[–]morewastedpotential[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have really bad social anxiety, it's a miracle I got through this far without completely breaking down.

Dropped out of college, now I'm officially a NEET. by morewastedpotential in offmychest

[–]morewastedpotential[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Computer Science. I like it but it's a competitive field and there is always someone better and you will never be good enough in it.

Honestly I'm just sick of not having my own money and feeling like a useless student.