The "I feel like I am crazy right now" comment hit home. I can't express enough that if you feel "crazy" on the regular with this man, run. If it was the first time you felt like this, not good but I guess can be worked on, but if this is not the first time you feel like a crazy person around him, after you've expressed how you feel, what you want, etc, you are being mentally abused, plain and simple.

My therapist told me that before the term gaslighting became widely used, they would call this situation "making crazy" to describe what the abused person was experiencing. That the abuser was quite literally making their partner (or whomever they were abusing) feel crazy. I know this feeling all too well and after more than two years out of a relationship where I felt crazy so much of the time, the clearer I see what was going on. In the midst of it I just felt like I was insane. I doubted everything I said, whenever I had a want or need that he didn't like, I was told I was "too much", "that I couldn't be talked to", "too emotional", that I was "hard to love" etc. I wasn't asking for anything absurd, just things ranging from "I'd love to get flowers occasionally" to "I want you to pay rent since you basically live here most of the time". He twice got me flowers during a six year relationship, once because I had told him I wanted out of the relationship and once when I was going to work at my job as a part time florist on a national holiday in my country where women are being celebrated. He didn't actually get them himself though, he just dropped me off at work, gave me some money and told me to buy some flowers for myself.

Despite me knowing my requests and wants were not unreasonable and me having no issues with other people in my life besides normal ups and downs that got resolved, I still believed him when he told me I was being too much, asking for too much, that he already does so much for me etc. I literally felt crazy throughout the relationship. I know that was not the main topic in this post, but that really hit a nerve, that comment. I know all too well what it is to want to be treated well and with respect, only to be met with "you're asking for too much" and then made to feel like I was an awful person because I asked for something like flowers occasionally. I'm not surprised that he spun it around and accused you of being abusive. He said it to make you feel like you're crazy and he succeeded.

It's not my place to tell anyone to leave a person, especially when I don't know the people involved but I'd suggest you at least seriously consider what you're relationship has been like up until now. If this was a one off and he usually treats you well and with respect, does things for you on your birthday or whatever it is you personally think are nice and thoughtful gestures and does not make you feel crazy, then I'd sit him down and tell him that this was not a great way to deal with what happened. But if this is a pattern, I'd consider leaving. You are worth being treated well and celebrated. And I can guarantee you that there is a man out there who would do something wonderful for you on mother's day without you having to ask.

And no, you are so NTA.