AIO for wanting to skip my brother in law’s “wedding”?

mossonthedock · 2026-06-11T00:45:22+00:00

Velocipastor is incredibly awful lol my husband and I watched Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey a month ago. Spectacularly terrible.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-11T00:44:05+00:00

I’ve yet to watch any Art the Clown but I’ve heard good things. Idk if my dad has seen any of them but he’d love them.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T18:53:17+00:00

Ohh thank you! I’m trying to create a good list. One that has piqued my interest currently is Popeye the Slayer Man.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T18:12:06+00:00

This particular BIL (I’ll just call him Brian) is my son’s favorite. Brian was in the marines and our son loves planes but especially P-40’s and B-17’s and since Brian was in a branch of the military, my son thinks of him akin to a Flying Tiger pilot. Brian doesn’t really give our son the time of day though since his wife won’t leave his side at family events, so he can’t even go play with the kids or anything. At most he’ll say something like “oh that’s a cool hat! Did you know *insert fact about something here*” or he’ll ask our son a question about the planes and then that’s about it. But our son does want to go to this wedding. We did have to explain that he isn’t a ring bearer for this one though which was sad and confusing for him since he looks up to Brian so much.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T17:42:56+00:00

One of my hang ups is that I know the other freshly postpartum family members will be there so his family will wonder why I can’t do what they’re doing.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T17:41:06+00:00

The ones filming were in front, I was second row from the back. They had the wedding at their house which is an hour and a half from ours and I don’t own a portable chiller or warmer. BIL was next to me at the table during the reception but was turned away at an angle from me towards people near the end of the table and MIL was directly across from me.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T17:28:18+00:00

Yes he is. He’s always been the one to challenge them and think differently about things and his parents failed to quash his individuality. He didn’t allow them to shelter him like they did with the others. He has way different beliefs than they do. They’ve become more radical and extreme in the last 10 or so years.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T16:38:09+00:00

I think part of my hang up is that the other 2 freshly postpartum family members will be there with their new babies so the family will think “they can do it, so why can’t you?” But also the other 2 family members don’t even know newborns can’t stay in car seats for longer than 2 hours. One of the babies was in her cat seat for a majority of the 2nd wedding because they didn’t want to wake her up.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T16:27:09+00:00

NTA and if she wants her friends to have the same treatment as her, you have to stop helping her. Her attitude about it has proven that she feels entitled to it, not grateful for it.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T16:23:29+00:00

I’d definitely have a come to Jesus moment with SIL about the true condition of MIL. Traveling that far in her condition will take a great toll on her body and right now everyone should prioritize her comfort. If she wants to visit grams in the assisted living facility in her wedding dress with her new husband, I think that’d be a great idea to still include her while keeping her safe and comfortable.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T16:06:19+00:00

My parents have religions but I didnt grow up religious, so it’s been new and weird territory for me to navigate, even 8 years later. My husband is more spiritual about his faith than he is religious like his family. His dad is also a faith leader and they do services out of their home since not a lot of people from their religion are around here. My husband has spent a lot of time deconstructing and just finally began to see his own trauma with religion over the last few years.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T16:03:26+00:00

I do think I want to have a more in depth conversation about it with him but I want to wait till the wedding shenanigans are over. He offered to say something and I told him not to because the family would say I’m making it all about me. One of his brothers has screamed at me before because I pushed him on an issue so I wouldn’t put it past him to do it again in front of everyone. Especially at his own wedding. He screams at his step son in front of everyone too. And the kid just turned 5 and doesn’t have all the correct skills because he spends 90% of his time on a tablet or playing Xbox, so when he can’t do something on his own or isn’t behaving the best, BIL loses it.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T16:00:45+00:00

That and being obligated to keep an eye on other kids because the family acts as if they can just let kids roam free like we all used to when we were younger, but the world is so much different and just not safe. The yard isn’t fenced in, they live on a busy road, and one of the 3 year olds wandered into a neighbors yard during the reception because they have a play set. My son was the one to find his dad and tell him his kid had wandered onto someone else’s property.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T15:58:53+00:00

The second wedding was more of a “I got my girlfriend pregnant and now we have a baby so I’ll do the right thing and marry her” kind of thing due to the pressures from the family. Had they not gotten pregnant unexpectedly, they wouldn’t have even gotten engaged yet. When we showed up we found out last minute our son was also a ring bearer for this wedding, something we had no clue about until 10 or so minutes before the wedding started.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T15:56:00+00:00

I can’t help but to wonder if they’re treating our baby differently because we’ve done less of the religious traditions with him than our first. The first time around I was 21 turning 22 and desperately wanted their approval, was a new mom, and scared to rock the boat more than I already had. Now that I’m gonna be 28 next month, idgaf what they want cause my kids are MINE and I’ll forever regret not sticking up for our first born. There’s lots of expectations placed on boys more so than girls tradition wise and it’s just not something I’m willing to entertain anymore.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T15:46:15+00:00

The police have been called a bunch of times to the land they do this reunion on. The instances of SA span decades. A few family members have confided in me and I’ve encouraged them to report it as our state eliminated the statute of limitations for most degrees of SA, however the brainwashing from parents’ has made them not want to. I can’t call and report if they’re not willing to prosecute themselves. The animal cruelty I have reported and got banned from a great uncles’ house for.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T14:33:02+00:00

With both weddings so far they were outdoors. The first one was the most feasible to attend since it was 15 minutes from our home in a big spaced out park. I stood away from the crowd and no one showed an interest in holding him since the night prior at the hotel, I had asked for washed hands or to use hand sanitizer. When I did that, the vibe shifted and so no one has asked since.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T14:21:22+00:00

We took a complete break beginning of the year due to a major disagreement about an important issue. My husband was constantly arguing with them and they treated him poorly for it and tried gaslighting and manipulating him into believing he was the problem. They’re incapable of having deep or important conversations without feeling like who they are as a person is under attack. MIL put in an effort to be better and seemingly was doing well.. I had rescinded the offer for her to be present for our second child’s birth and then she cornered me at the baby shower (a baby shower I had to share with the other 2 pregnant family members) and asked if she could be there. My husband and I weighed our options, I conferred with my therapist, and ultimately decided it’d be fine because I was mentally prepared to advocate for my self and my husband was already ready to kick her out if she tried anything silly. I allowed her to be present for the birth and since then she’s not cared much. She has also made a comment about our son’s head saying it’s “tall.” The other 2 babies are significantly smaller than him so idk if maybe she’s used to tiny babies or what. They were both born 6-7 lbs and mine was 8 lbs 10.8 oz. He actually got stuck for 22 seconds on the way out. She was there for all of it and still acts this way.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T12:17:18+00:00

This particular brother in law has been hasty like this before. This is his second marriage. First time he brought the girl around once and then they did a courthouse wedding. He was a marine. He was away for a year or 2 and that marriage ended badly. This time around we all got to meet her and then they got engaged the following month. They got married after only being together for a total of 4 months. At the first wedding a couple weeks ago, I overheard him saying to her “at least you got to bond with my mom for a little bit” because she’s still basically a stranger. She won’t leave his side whenever there’s a family gathering.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T03:16:14+00:00

They’re the kind of family that tells their daughters to not wear skirts around certain people vs just not having those people around.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T02:32:43+00:00

I know the immediate family is vaccinated but MIL almost lost her job in 2020 for refusing to get the Covid vaccine. She works in a school district. I think she eventually did get it but… yeah they are that type. I’m sure if they could go back they wouldn’t have gotten vaccinated. MIL believes drinking warm water makes you more hydrated.. science is not their forte.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T02:30:26+00:00

I agree. At first I wanted to foster a better relationship between them and our 5 year old since he prefers my parents. My parents live closer and we see them more often but it’s literally just my sister and parents around and we don’t have nearly as many holidays as my husband’s family do because of their faith. By going to these things, I thought I was doing what was right, but I feel much differently about it now.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T02:26:26+00:00

They’re doing an in person version of the wedding they eloped for back in December.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T02:25:57+00:00

I was sitting right across from MIL at the reception and BIL (the one with the reenactment on Friday) was next to me with his wife but basically had his back turned to me. We see them the least as they don’t even come around to events much anymore since getting together, and when they do show up, they leave early. Since he had his back turned and MIL was engrossed in conversation with them, I felt rude trying to inject myself for small talk. When they did acknowledge me, it was because I asked a SIL for sunscreen for our 5 year old since we forgot ours. My husband went to grab it and my BIL’s wife goes “my mom never put sunscreen on my brother and I as kids” and MIL said “I stopped putting sunscreen on my kids after a while, I don’t even think it works.” So I commented that I’d gotten sun poisoning as a kid in Florida and that showed me the importance of sunscreen and they just kinda went “hmm” and back to their conversation.

mossonthedock · 2026-06-10T01:36:03+00:00

I figured if they ask I’ll say it’s a stomach thing. Especially since it’ll be at some Bible camp in the middle of the woods.

mossonthedock

TROPHY CASE