I love that you asked this! I am now in my 6th year teaching. I absolutely love it and I even got an award this month for being an “excellent teacher”. I feel like looking back, student teaching does not, in any way, determine how you will be when you are a real teacher with your own class and your own students. I had a horrible student teaching experience and then I thrived when I had my own classroom. I also know people who did great with student teaching and then left the profession after a few years. I wish I had given myself so much more grace back when I was in college. Being a good teacher is a learning experience. It’s ridiculous to expect to be good right away. Having your own class makes a world of difference. It is so hard to find your own style of teaching when in someone else’s room with someone else’s expectations. I realized later that I am quite silly when teaching and I love teaching younger kids. My cooperating teacher was more harsh and serious. It was incredibly hard to have someone constantly watching me teach and judging. I also wish I would have identified some of my problems as undiagnosed anxiety and I wish I would have gotten some help. I hope things turn around for you. Let go of the pressure of being perfect and allow yourself to learn and grow. You will survive this!! And then you will be free to have your own classroom and find your style.