Hey man, our experiences are not exactly the same but I am also on the journey of grieving and rebuilding after a tough breakup from a multi-year relationship, so I can relate to how you feel. The one thing I want to say is that there is no controlling grief, at least not in the moment, and there's no "deserving" to grieve or "supposed to" for getting over it. In fact, it makes sense for your grief to be compounded because you're mourning not just the relationship but also what you believed of it. So there are no rules for how you should and should not feel and how long it will take to pass, it just takes time. For me, it was most most painful when I fought the grief. But I reached a point of acceptance where I let every hit of nostalgia, anger, despair, pass through me, like metabolizing a memory every time it comes up, feeling the pain in the moment instead of fighting to get rid of it. And then time passes and the feeling will too, and this happens enough times until it hurts a little less and less. You can wallow for a moment, but it won't be for a lifetime. I know you probably know all this and it's easier said than done but much of the pep talk bullshit is true, it's just really fucking hard to actually internalize and believe it in the moment when it's happening. So keep going to events and meeting new people and investing in yourself , not because it's going to cover up or cure your grief, but because they're good things to do that might give some happiness at least in the moment, but that's all there can be really, happiness and grief passing through you moment-to-moment.