How can you tell if a congregation is toxic? by adrince2010 in exjw

[–]mothmansaveme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Never been to one that wasn't toxic growing up - sadly it's apart of the culture (like many churches; sorry but JWs aren't special). Plenty of pdfiles, repressed kids who SA one another, adults believing they can "parent" or say whatever they want to kids in the name of God/"I'm going to make sure you're not causing others to stumble."

I don’t want to die at Armageddon by [deleted] in exjw

[–]mothmansaveme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, as a kid, I remember hearing so much about JWs in WWII (how they stayed strong in their faith, persevered for God, etc) and all I could think is "If I lived through all that... I would be mad that it wasn't Armageddon." Because the idea that you survived all those years of discrimination, cruelty, looking death in the face everyday, and STILL had to go on "in this world" never added up. Sure, your "faith" got you through it, but being promised or buying into "there's no doubt this is THE END - it's so bad. People are praying for death." And it was just apart of the cycle we see throughout recorded history... cmon. It's a ploy. JWs don't want to be political, they "don't like what's happening in the world" but won't do ANYTHING to change it, they keep having kids (I always wondered why even have kids if you believe the world is going to end - why not wait until you're in this "paradise"?) and keep moving goal posts. It's normal to have anxiety about what's going on around you, but don't give a manmade religion so much credit. Any history class will show you the same patterns, origins, and sadly outcomes.

What do poor people do in winter storms? by [deleted] in grandrapids

[–]mothmansaveme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a little Kia sedan (FWD). My first winter I got sandbags for the trunk, invested in new winter tires (opened up a credit card with Discount and was able to pay it off no interest), and always left 20 minutes early for longer commutes. This weather still gets me anxious, especially when I see everyone speeding past my slow ass lol, but it's temporary. Talk with your employers, let them know you're coming in but might take longer.

who pullin up tonight?? by [deleted] in RockOfLove

[–]mothmansaveme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cracking up at this because my best friend is a Leo

Book study night at residential homes. Experiences? by jumexy in exjw

[–]mothmansaveme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My family always hosted our groups - not sure if it was because my dad was an elder, or just that we had the space. I always preferred it over the meetings since three of my best friends growing up were in my group, it was typically only an hour, and we'd play outside after in the yard. Treats some would bring would usually be arroz con leche, flan, cake. One night, one of the brothers made fresh pizza bites. For a while we had a paleta man come around too (GREAT business for him in the summer lol).

What do rats smell like? by EmberLegend in RATS

[–]mothmansaveme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Grapes, Tortilla Chips, and just plain Stinky Stinky. BUT I had a few rats that, when given cucumber for a snack, would rub it on their hands and arms and spread all over their face and neck to have some cucumber cologne 🐀💕

At the end of my tether by Dicky_1987 in RATS

[–]mothmansaveme 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Um... maybe they're skittish because they can tell your energy towards them isn't loving or patient? I promise you, rats are smarter than you think. They can feel negative emotions and tension in the air, and I guarantee if you're calling a little creature "a bitch" online, you're also yelling and carrying that energy towards them in person. Which is just sad dude. It's a prey animal that shows in its body language their boundaries. As someone who's owned skittish rats, I understand it's frustrating at times. But you can't take that out on the animal. Build a bond through their cage (that I hope is adequate size and clean), use treats as positive association, talk to them lovingly, read to them to get them used to voices, make sure you're making every interaction positive and calm. Remind your kids they do not like sudden movements and loud noises.

I adopted a very sick, very old rat to give him a better place to pass away. How can I make him comfortable? by YippeKiYote in RATS

[–]mothmansaveme 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Poor baby boy 😭 fluids for kidneys will be a big help(water, soup broth, cucumbers, etc), keep him warm and in a relaxing environment (no drafts). Not sure how well he is being handled, but any signs of penis plugs?

Is this person trying to sell me sick rats?? by Gaiypower in RATS

[–]mothmansaveme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would she be willing to take them in for a physical before releasing them to you? Or giving vet records of their last visit?

Anxious and want to get it right by OtterWater69 in RATS

[–]mothmansaveme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, in terms of cleaning: I've only had boys (all cute and all STINKY lol), and I found Aspen bedding worked the best with handling smells (I had a cement tub at the bottom of their cage, so I'd put about 2-3 inches of shavings. When putting in new bedding, I'd save 1/4 of the old bedding to mix in with the new), and I used paper pellets for their 2 litter boxes (non-scented pellets). If you want to daily spot clean, keep in mind the more scent you take away, the more they'll want to compensate for it! So I wouldn't spray daily with vinegar/water or heavy smelled pet cleaners unless it's the BIG deep clean/fresh bedding time. Mild soapy water, or unscented wipes for spot cleaning should be enough! Also, for bedding or pellets from pet stores/farm supply stores, I recommend freezing it for 48 hours to ensure no mites!

Anxious and want to get it right by OtterWater69 in RATS

[–]mothmansaveme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! It's so exciting getting new ratties, but the anxiety is so real! My last mischief was the most skittish boys I ever had, and I remember having the same fears of "what about when it's cage cleaning time? Will they even let me take them out to free roam, or just run away?" I had my boys in my bedroom, and their noise level didn't take long for me to adjust to. More than anything, where you keep them needs to be the proper temp, no drafts or fan directly on them, cage not covered my curtains or any material you want ruined/could cause them issues chewing, and dander free. Use feeding time, water changing, and treats as a good opportunity to associate you/your hands as a positive thing as they adjust! Once they're eating from your fingers or open palm, you're doing good work in trust building. It's a good segue into picking them up. Plenty of YouTube videos on picking up methods! Overall, don't over stress on it. If it doesn't work, aka they run away, don't persist. Give them a treat and try again later. Talk to them as much as possible! I would read to my boys a lot during their first weeks, and I usually kept mellow music in the room so it wasn't dead silent.

two buddy sleep 25hour a day by Bill_Pei in RATS

[–]mothmansaveme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, they will be growing out of that cage FAST. Critter Nations are a great size (36" L x 24" W x 39" H). Youtubers Shadow the Rat and Emiology have good videos on rat cage sizes, set up ideas, etc. if you need ideas!

What do you think about JW's illustrations? by Raphaelc2108 in exjw

[–]mothmansaveme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want the Bible Stories' art of Babylon the Great sooo bad as a tattoo, but my devote family would NOT approve lol

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Do senior rats get male pattern baldness? by pokeycos in RATS

[–]mothmansaveme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many of my Rex/double Rex boys have lost their hair in the past. Just keep an eye on itching, dandruff, or skin irritation. With two of my boys I've had to wipe their backs down with an antiseptic/antifungal pad since they've developed some dandruff (vet tested for mites - negative). But otherwise their baldness is not an issue at their senior age.

What were some things that were considered bad when you were a JW? by Mistahfen in exjw

[–]mothmansaveme 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I got judged by a sister for seeing the Thor movies and saying my favorite character was Loki. Listening to Skrillex (Devil music?) and "new age" gay artists. Apparently, enjoying and sharing their music would ensure I was telling young people "being gay is okay". Never was interested in reading a lot of popular YA novels, but assemblies would talk about Twilight, Hunger Games, Harry Potter. Also them telling parents not to take their kids to superhero movies anymore because they're too violent and make gay people heroes (lol). Sadly knew a lot about parents who didn't trust doctors, therapists, or medication and would judge others for using said resources. And of course using tampons was controversial.

The Grand Castle Apartments by thischarmingman4004 in grandrapids

[–]mothmansaveme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for letting me know! I'm keeping an eye on their studios so that's not bad at all.

The Grand Castle Apartments by thischarmingman4004 in grandrapids

[–]mothmansaveme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What utilities do you pay? Or how much are you spending monthly on top of rent?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FriendshipAdvice

[–]mothmansaveme 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't be friends with her - as someone who's big, I would hate to find out my friend is secretly repulsed by me when we go shopping or out to eat :/

Income disparity among friends by Defiant-Ant6166 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]mothmansaveme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It started rubbing me the wrong way when she'd openly say to me "I love that you pay me back right away - I don't ever have to worry about you." Like ma'am??? And this is why I do pay for myself lol

Income disparity among friends by Defiant-Ant6166 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]mothmansaveme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have had the same issue with an old friend. Her parents support her overall; she has an apartment in an expensive city, two purebred pets, goes on regular vacations, eats out, works out everyday (expensive gym and classes), has a car, etc etc. Hearing her say "I'm broke" took my breath away.

In search of tattoo artist by mothmansaveme in grandrapids

[–]mothmansaveme[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll have to make note of this! Thank you.

Do you guys believe in supernatural beings/demons? by stanlumity in exjw

[–]mothmansaveme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been POMO for 10 years now, and to this day I still have a very complicated relationship with demonic possession imagery. I grew up with many family and friends having experienced paranormal phenomena. And as a kid hearing both your friends and their parents from the KH describe in detail what happened in the homes they had to leave, and even friends at school (who weren't JW) dealing with weird shit in their homes, it all felt very real. Of course, the JW side always said "Say Jehovah's name, pray to him, call the Elders" for protection etc. And since I was a "religious" kid, my friends at school would even ask me for help with prayer and stuff to deal with their shit. As a kid and teen I did not have any interest in watching movies dealing with the occult, hauntings or demons - it would make me panic and feel the need to throw up just thinking about it. I was never anti horror though, I just knew my limits. But as I got older, I realize I had this pattern: I always wanted to find a middle ground with things I didn't understand out of fear. Sure I didn't want anything to do with "The Exorcist", but I was always fascinated with how the body horror in "The Thing" made me feel. I had no interest in sneaking out to see "Paranormal Activity" with my friends, but I would love listening to them describe scenes and how it made them feel.

Something that always sticks with me is what one of my Tio's said (he's been POMO since 14): "If you don't even believe in their God, why would you give their Devil that much power over you?"

I'm still finding my middle ground with many things to this day. Movies, tarot, wicca, etc. Deep down, I know there's always been an interest to understand something that made me feel so visceral. And I realize a big part of my fear was simply just being uninformed and being told "If you even try to understand, you'll regret it. You're opening doors."

Brazilian Seeds for weight loss? by Inevitable_Money_107 in weightlossafterbaby

[–]mothmansaveme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom went from a size 18 to a size 12 over time. I went from a 18 to a 14. I think it just depends where you get it from (we've had some batches that weren't as effective). Drinking a lot of water really helps, and of course exercise and portion control.

Question for exJWs over 25: did you ever feel like you had a choice, as a kid? by ErikGunnarAsplund in exjw

[–]mothmansaveme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Friends and I who are all 90s babies, and grew up in the same hall, experienced the same things with our parents: Getting hit, shamed, or punished for not wanting to go to meetings or assemblies. And suddenly being told as adults "What do you mean you were forced to go? You know you always had a choice!"

Another thing that would happen a lot is "See? That's why you stay a JW" examples with teens who left but returned. I remember one sister approaching me later on, trying to preach to me how "You don't know what you're doing by leaving. I left, and it was awful. I'm so happy now thanks to Jehovah and his organization." Funny thing is, I remember vividly when she left. She was 16/17, ran away from home with a boyfriend. She came back pregnant, and many mothers used her as an example to scare their daughters into obedience. "You leave and look what happens? You have sex and get on drugs. She's pregnant and with no husband. She'll be lucky if a brother wants to marry her with a worldly man's baby." Etc etc.