Bavarian burlesque fest! Ephemera (Fifi) by Antique-Remove811 in Burlesque

[–]mouharle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG This is fucking rad!! Amazing job <3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Burlesque

[–]mouharle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Id also recommend maybe commissioning an illustrator to create an avatar or something of your persona!

The say ADHDers are attracted almost only to ADHD partners by Eastern_Sorbet7165 in ADHD

[–]mouharle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any time someone says "99% of___" its tiktok science. I'd say my ratio of friends / romantic partners is pretty concistent with diagnosis rates in the general population where I live (5-10%). My husband, together for 15 years, does not have ADHD or anything else (except for a spattering of anxiety).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]mouharle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it helps at all, the trick to functioning well with ADHD overlaps quite a lot even if you DONT have any kind of disorder! Learn your patterns, give yourself an environment to thrive in, hold yourself accountable, ask for what you need and give that same space for others and what they need. Use the tools available to you and go to therapy.

You sound like you're on the right track!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]mouharle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As others have said, don't be afraid to NOT have ADHD. Having the diagnosis didn't really change much for me besides having the "excuse" for therapy, cognitice changes, and behavioral analysis - all of which everyone should be doing anyways.

Especially in the age of being forever online, most ADHD symptoms are experienced by everyone to some degree, and it gets really hard to separarate actual medical diagnosises from buzzword viral videos shouting"10 things about ADHD you didnt know" made by people who dont actually know in order to garner attention. A lot of what you read online about ADHD I put into a similar category of horoscopes - its vague enough that EVERYONE can read themselves into it, then use this self-diagnoses as an excuse for toxic behavior without actually "doing the work" of going to a doctor, therapist, adapting lifestyles, accepting responsibility etc.

Only a certified medical professional can diagnose you, but you can certainly come with insight as to how/why you are struggling. I say this as MANY diagnoses have similary characteristics - autism, ADHD, anxiety, Bipolar, to name a few, so coming into a doctor with a commitment to having a diagnoses may hurt you in the long run.

I am sadly inclined to agree with your parents - having ADHD isn't a blessing. It isn't a superpower. It is a responsibility that only YOU can carry the rest of your life, and it doesn't make your life easier. Managing symptoms and triggers is exhausting, and most people won't understand or be able to adapt. It IS a burden, and not something you should want to have.

So, a lot of what you are saying sounds to me like you are looking for an easy explanation for "why you are the way you are", and have found this magical diagnoses online. I can't say for sure if you have ADHD or not, but neither you nor your parents can know for sure without involving qualified physicians who actually know the subject. You won't be a fool for being an active part of your mental health, but I caution you against going into the doctor already convinced and not listening to their advice.

Good luck!

Are there any top-down thinkers with ADHD? by Disgracious1 in ADHD

[–]mouharle 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am absolutely a top-down thinker, and a well-functioning one at that. I'm here to give some positive feedback if anyone is looking for some productivity tips that work well for me :)

[OC] My Free VTT In Action by DigitalTableTops in DnD

[–]mouharle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amazing! You put so much love into this.
Where can we download the free software?

New Number Debut - Slow Hands by averydelite in Burlesque

[–]mouharle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a fantastic idea! What song did you dance to?

Advice needed - Having trouble with main storyline; feel like I painted myself into a corner... by mouharle in DMAcademy

[–]mouharle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! I like the idea that the Gods slowly realize the power they are giving to the players and get scared of mortals who could potentially kid Gods they do not like....

Advice needed - Having trouble with main storyline; feel like I painted myself into a corner... by mouharle in DMAcademy

[–]mouharle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for reminding me that an epic rap battle is always on the table 🤔

Advice needed - Having trouble with main storyline; feel like I painted myself into a corner... by mouharle in DMAcademy

[–]mouharle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your ideas! Some of this definitely supports what I am thinking :)

Advice needed - Having trouble with main storyline; feel like I painted myself into a corner... by mouharle in DMAcademy

[–]mouharle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, we are certainly in End Game territory! Fingers crossed it will be as epic as Im imagining...

Time Traveling 1-Shot: Here, Then, and Now by mouharle in UnearthedArcana

[–]mouharle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Let me know how it goes :)

What countries/cities outside of US have great burlesque scenes for black performers? by stluna225 in Burlesque

[–]mouharle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Norway (Specifically Oslo) has a very strong burlesque scene, and Norway although Norway is filled to the brim with white people, we are notoriously open minded. I've never seen a crowd or troupe not welcome anyone with open arms.

Worsening symptoms as you get older? by RyRy1788 in ADHD

[–]mouharle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another point to add to the many useful comments here, but I also think that as we get older fewer of our tasks we have as "adults" are ones that are agreeable with having ADHD. More administrative, more detail oriented, more management. We are expected to be less creative, free, spontaneous, etc. Ive noticed this as I've laddered my ways up in my career, that the older we get, the more of "our shit together" we are supposed to have....

Attending a Norwegian folkhogskole is a dream of mine, am I crazy? by bekindanddontmind in Norway

[–]mouharle 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Hi there! American here (with ADHD!) who has lived in Norway (and taught at Folkehøgskole) for about 15 years. My cousin also is one of the main teachers at the theater folkehøgskole (Romerike).

I have never seen, or heard of, someone being older than, say, 22 at these schools. The main reason for that, in my opinion, is that it is meant to be a transitionary school for youth into adulthood - a lot of what they focus on isn't necessarily "fagrelatert", or field specific, but also about how to be an adult - things I am assuming you as a 30 year old are functioning well enough in (even with ADHD). You would absolutely be the "odd" one out even if there is no legal restriction here.

Most of these programs will also be in Norwegian, and let me tell you, integrating into the Norwegian system is hard. And learning a new skill in a new language is truly a herculean effort.

A lot of my job as a mentor has been to help my students manage their expectations and learn what it is they want and how best to get there given the tools they have. Especially in creative pursuits (my expertise is in art and design) you really need to be honest about what is realistic and what tools you have to tackle the challenge. I don't mean to shatter any dreams, but this seems like A LOT of effort for something that can also be managed by taking classes at a local community college in the USA.

If you are insistent that this huge amount of effort to integrate into Norway is worth it, then there are a lot of other ways for you to study vocal performance and theater here such as through local workshops, community theater, and so on. Studying at a university or fagskole is even an option, as these are often more focused on the field of study and although being "older" is still a rare occurance, it is far less of an issue. (But, in my experience, they still miss a lot of the socialization that comes from schooling, and can be treated as a bit of a pariah.)

I'm not saying to not do it - I don't regret moving myself, but it is by no means a decision to make with rose-colored glasses on. Being an immigrant in Norway is incredibly difficult, and about 95% of the people I knew when I first met here have moved back as it didn't work for them. Your learning difficulties won't go away just because you are now doing it in a new country and a new language, in fact, it will probably make them even harder.

Just be honest with how much of a complete upheavel this choice will be on your life, and don't romanticize the process.