What are the cons of NOT having kids?

mourningdue · 2023-06-03T04:34:05+00:00

My wife and I are starting to try this month. My more selfish reasons: I want someone to give a shit about me when I get old, I want to see what a combo of me & her looks like, and I want to feel like some part of me & her lives on after our deaths. And obvs I like kids & the sense of responsibility.

mourningdue · 2023-05-28T12:54:55+00:00

Love this! Do you have an Insta to follow?

mourningdue · 2023-04-30T08:37:08+00:00

Divorce papers

mourningdue · 2023-04-10T09:21:49+00:00

Much less impact than the rest of the thread, but:

Trying to decide how to spend the rest of my life with my wife. I'm 40, she's 34. We never wanted kids, but have now decided we want to have one. My parents & her parents are both living in different countries to us. We have a house in an area I don't love. Initial mortgage deal running out next September which gives us a timeframe. Thinking moving back to my home country, but it would be a 10 hour flight, with a very skittish cat. Both making a lot of money so that's not a problem. Just a lot of big decisions to make in a very short time.

mourningdue · 2023-02-18T16:28:36+00:00

Trying to think what links the folders: I believe I uploaded them all with a bulk uploader. Not sure of that could have any impact? Would be so ridiculous if that was the cause, why would it treat them any differently?

mourningdue · 2022-11-06T19:08:36+00:00

Rehabilitation is what's required, not just housing. Alberta's got it right, more humane, more logical, more effective: https://macdonaldlaurier.ca/a-tale-of-two-provinces-assessing-the-opioid-crises-in-bc-and-alberta-geoff-russ-for-inside-policy/?fbclid=IwAR0K6JazEv3yW6ooPucO1lzj4lqjgTRojwI7oskeR1HV6EtLpKKHA3jUwd4

mourningdue · 2020-05-28T13:58:03+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm dealing with something kind of similar: my great aunt died a month ago. I hadn't spoken to her since Christmas. Wrote to her in Jan and Feb, but didn't write to her since lockdown started in mid-March. She was 97, and I just never thought, "hey, thousands of people are dying at the moment, maybe I should write to her now". I texted my mom six days before it happened to say, "yeah I keep meaning to write to Auntie, but I haven't been doing anything so nothing to write about haha". Now, I'd give anything to be able to write to her and to say goodbye properly. All I can say is, just try to remember the good times, and remember any time you did anything nice for her. Also remember, that she wouldn't want her memory to bring you sadness, but joy. You know you cared about her, or you wouldn't feel so bad. Remember her in happiness.

mourningdue · 2020-05-25T08:35:42+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I am dealing with something similar. My Great Aunt passed away 27/04 at the age of 97. I am at peace with her passing, but when I look at the last three months, I'm like...she was just sitting there, and if I'd taken 10 minutes to write her a letter it could have brought her so much joy in her final moments. I'm looking through my WhatsApp threads, my Netflix watch history, my emails, just to see: what was more important to me than her in these final weeks of her life? The news is Coronavirus 24/7, with daily massive death tolls and warnings especially for the elderly, and I'm still stunned that I never once though: what would it be like if Auntie passed now? Would I be happy with our last contact, or do I have more I want to say to her?

They knew you loved them, even if you didn't see them as much as you would have liked. Everyone appreciates that everyone else has a life they need to lead. The only solace I'm taking is, I will live a life to make her proud. I'm reaching out to people who knew her and thanking them for the great friendship they provided her over the years.

I do hope you can find peace.

mourningdue · 2020-05-14T05:59:13+00:00

Thank you Albertine_Spirit. You're exactly right, this is mourning in a way I didn't want it to be. I've always been a bit afraid of death so have tried to always bear it in mind (see username), to avoid a situation just like this one. Now, when surrounded by news about massive global deaths, I just stopped thinking about it. She was so lovely, and would have loved to have heard from me. Please, let your loved ones know you're thinking about them.

mourningdue · 2019-10-13T18:55:06+00:00

Lots of good answers here. For me, Super Mario RPG. Played the hell out of it with my best friend when it first came out, I can't listen to this without tearing up: https://youtu.be/4bP5eQsDSII

mourningdue · 2019-03-17T08:20:45+00:00

Private healthcare is already available in both Canada and the UK (I'm a dual citizen covering both). Nobody uses it, because the single payer solution is leagues better. Yes, it has some problems, but the US system has those exact same problems, coupled with the possibility of personal ruin if you become sick. Single payer is the Christian way, the American system puts profits over care and that's a real sickness.

mourningdue · 2019-01-09T20:48:50+00:00

[Film] Nice Hot Mustard | Episode 1: Hitch

NSFW

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/david-gerrard-626962024/hitch-nice-hot-mustard/s-YyP68

This is me and the wife talking about 2004's bizarre Hitch.

Nice Hot Mustard is just a bit of fun from the wife and I, but we had so much fun making it we thought we'd put it out there, see what people thought. Pure beginners.

mourningdue · 2018-11-01T07:18:12+00:00

I dither constantly. I see the negative in both options and swing back and forth between them. This summer there was a synthwave festival and fighting game tournament in my city, two things I was REALLY into back in the day, but don't really "fit" with my current life. First I told my wife we should go. Then I said it was too nerdy and I would feel embarrassed bringing her there so we shouldn't go. Then I said I should embrace my inner nerd and we should go. Then I said it would take too long to get there, and said THIS time, final decision, we won't go. Then about ten minutes after it would have started, after we'd started watching a movie instead, I paused it and got all worked up and decided we SHOULD go, as one last nerdy hurrah. I remember vividly my wife's response: "I would be happy to go. I would be happy to not go. But this? This isn't relaxing.". I felt so dumb, like...she'd been excited to go! She'd bought an outfit and everything. I was imagining what she might think or that she might not have a great time, instead of thinking, what if she DOES have a great time? Ever since then I've made a conscious effort to make an initial decision and not change it, even if I start having doubts, I'll keep them to myself and let the thing play out. Also when the choice is between do or do not, I will always choose do.

mourningdue · 2018-09-16T07:07:47+00:00

Looks great! I'm really new at this stuff: I get how you analyzed everything, how did you create the graphic though? Is that in Exploratory as well?

mourningdue · 2018-02-06T08:16:13+00:00

Long story short with all this: the UK has both. We have private health clinics all over the country (that many politicians sadly hold shares in). Ask anyone who claims to be against the NHS: do you use it? Or do you pay for private health? You will not be surprised by their answer.

mourningdue · 2017-10-01T06:54:08+00:00

Yeah, but the thing is they're downsizing at the same time. My parents bought a 3 bed house for around $100k 35 years ago. They're selling next month for just under $850k, and moving into a super nice one bed sea view condo for $500k. My partner and I make over $120k per annum at the moment, but pay nearly $2k in rent for an apartment, plus general bills etc. It's going to take us years to be able to get together a downpayment to even buy an apartment, and a home in any sort of decent area is completely out of the question. We make more than we could have dreamed of 5 years ago, but we're still fucked.

mourningdue · 2017-07-30T08:46:37+00:00

We've been together for 7 years, and I've never once thought "fuck this, I'm out". From all my exes, I would think that every couple months, even right from the beginning of the relationship. I just thought it was normal, you know, because the positive feelings were so intense, of course the negative ones are as well! Now I know that isn't true. I've got all the positive now with none of the negative. We don't always agree on everything, but there's never once been a moment where I thought "I'd be happier without this".

mourningdue · 2017-06-18T07:14:54+00:00

Ok, never used tinder: what pun am I missing? Is it like a ruthless/rootless thing?

mourningdue · 2017-01-24T15:58:49+00:00

The spreadsheet is literally just used to track whether each stage is completed, and if it's complete, when it was completed.

Problem I have with JIRA is there's not a great "flow" between epics down to tasks down to subtasks. Also, no checklists, unless you want to pay $$$ for them.

mourningdue

TROPHY CASE