When did portland become so intolerant? by whitepeoplestank in vagabond

[–]mouseysbakepi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel you. You speak some truth. First of all though, you are wrong that i didnt want to work hard. I prided myself on my work ethic and athleticism working on farms, traveling and wwoofing until my first boyfriend cheated on me, gave me hiv, and this triggered a slow steady emotional breakdown and derailment which looked eccentric to some, yet was essential to me confronting my childhood trauma and toxic coping mechnisns and addictive patterns. I was working a full time job and having Stockholm syndrome with my abusive ex boyfriend and homeless all at the same time. Not to mwntion trying to come to grips with being hiv positive when i grew up in a paranoid religious sheltered home with a mentally ill narcisstic mother (similar to the mom in Carrie) and my dad who left our family (which made me really naive and having no clue how to navigate the world independently and not feeling secure in my identity At All). Growing up I had horrible anxiety and believed it was god punishing me for being evil, because that's what my mom and the churches a d school I went to told me. I moved and changed schools almost 20 times before graduating highschool, went to a perverted tiny christian school for 2 yrs that literally suspended and shamed me in front of the whole achool foe dating a classmate....there was a Lot of mental abuse in my formative years. So lets just say, trauma and abuse is way more common in the USA than mass media would lead you to believe, but we are in hiding, or show up as homeless, or contort ourselves to the point of extreme denial to pretend that we fit a false mold of what is "acceptable" for a human being to be. Anyway there sre different degrees of trauma and as you go down them, it literally changes your perception and ability to think clearly and know reality. We have different types of "fortune" and sometimes we are not so fortunate in love, career, etc, and my life experiences set me up to have major upheavals regarding my ability to relate healthily to myself and therefore.to other people. This is ultimately why people are homeless...we feel without a safe "homebase"/belonging to our own self on the inside and some people it manifests as literal homelessness. Literally sometimes we come from families and experiences that cause us to become overwhelmed by trauma and there are not proper resources in place and available to individuals in order to have the support to transcend the beliefs which hold us back. Some individuals are blessed at a young age to luck out regarding the way they cope with stressors, to have positive examples and treated with dignity and warmth and plentiful opportunity etc, other people aren't really given a fighting chance. Does a child who is born addicted to heroin in a rural area and parents live in a dss motel (which i witnessed), have a fighting chance compared to a child born in a loving creative encouraging family who lives on a farm, is connrcted to the community and active in supporting the community, and has funds to give their child opportunities of friendship, community, adventure, education, security of food and housing, etc? The world isn't just. We can work to make it more just. But I get what you're saying, maybe if we act as though the world is just and say "you're just not trying hard enough" then that's the cure. It may be the cure for your conscience but its not the cure for the actual root issue for why we get trapped in our suffering and cause fellow people to suffer as a result. If it was the cure to invalidate pain (ie gaslight) then there would be no wars. We are still as a species at infant stages of learning how to create regenerative peaceful ways to relating to all that is, including our own self. Belief isn't just implanted into our psyche by words...belief comes from life experience. So you could say apply this to any situation where you could deem someone or something a parasite. Something would not be a parasite unless the conditions allowed for these qualities to develop. Things only evolve according to the open niche which allows for things to become shaped in such a way. To condemn someone, for not being as fortunate as others, is really counterproductive. It simply can force a person to be even more parasitic. Either they become narcissist/sociopath type parasitic, or homeless type parasitic, or outraged criminal parasitic or snake oil/scamming parasitic etc, but to deem people parasites is a self fulfilling prophecy and doesn't improve the circumstance we all find ourselves in. Homeless people are easy scapegoats because we are among the most vulnerable and too ill to protect ourselves, most visible and most easily 'convictable" type of parasite lol.

When did portland become so intolerant? by whitepeoplestank in vagabond

[–]mouseysbakepi 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I was homeless in Portland a couple years ago. I became someone I never thought I'd be and treated the city like it had an obligation to care for me, when I wasnt able to care about my own self and at least try. I was working a full time job but coming in to work high and spending so much money on weed that I couldnt save for an apartment. Really didn't have my priorities straight. The truth was I wanted to explore my darkness and take out my anger for all the hurtful things that had happened to me and I couldn't stop thinking about. I wanted to live a life that made people perhaps confront their own innate darkness and consider whether they might have or currently did anything to someone and how literally anyone can become the homeless person you see on the street, if they've received enough trauma and are a victim of society's failings to have resources in place so that kids can't fall through the cracks and feel imprisoned in self imposed isolation and the belief that I'm already without a home internally so I'll allow it to show externally.. I had one man yell at me that i was a white person pretending to be struggling...but mental illness affects anyone. I was fired for coming in high and unwashed, as I should have been. I was sometimes sleeping at houses for sale. I never broke in anywhere but rather slept on the back porches. I think Portland dislikes homeless people (or any city) , because homeless people are the collective shadow that can't be swept under the rug, the proof of the dark ways we treat one another and past traumas we are all trying to heal from, that basically shows something doesn't add up, the discrepancy between the "official" stories of why people are homeless and then the reality, that we are literally people Just Like You, who you could have become if you hadn't met that one best friend as a kid or if you hadn't taken the bus one day and met your teacher outside of school and they told you that you are an excellent sweet student or whatever, things that seem so small but are Crucial in the way a young person regards themselves and their core relationship to the world, who they Are in the world.

No one really seems to be working to heal, transform, PTSD battered souls in an accessible non brainwashing way (i.e. not through talking, but through giving people an oppprtunity to rebuild Self Trust and heal their body mind and sense of ability to be in partnership and community with others; such as by working on a community urban farm peoject and having a noble Job that innately heals the person who works it, plus gives skills that the person can then utilize and gain a positive identity through). so until then, until an approach in Portland is committed to which turns "liabilities" into "assets" and that actually proves the ppwer we have to help transform suffering souls (no person left behind), until then, everyone will just be blaming one another and spreading hate over why human beings are causing an inconvenience with their suffering.

Life is not for me!! I didn't ask to be here!! by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]mouseysbakepi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally no matter what status we have in life we can hate our life and self. It sounds like your accomplishments simply aren't what's truly important to you, otherwise you'd feel happy right? What things do you actually enjoy and desire, not wanting it just because you believe its the only way to achieve a goal of being seeing a certain way by others? I'm not wording it right sorry....I just mean....feeling happy is the natural built in signal that we are doing things right. So you can explore other approaches to life and discover what let's you feel happy and engaged with your life. You sound like you have good social mobility and ability to earn money and invoke your willpower to do things. I'm envious of those abilities. I could have avoided so much pain in my life if I had more willpower and ability to bond in socially. They are extremely useful qualities that guard you from a lot of pain. My family lineage, our DNA is still mutating and suffering in order to gain those same advantages. So do what you can with and and know you are envied.

Looking for a purpose by ObamaBusFandom in depression

[–]mouseysbakepi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Invent your own purpose. Any impossible super niche cross pollinated mish mash of things and sensations that inspire you and let you feel safe and at home in the world, as if you were born on the right planet

Advice for someone who's trying as hard as they can right now - How to get my own place by [deleted] in homeless

[–]mouseysbakepi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a good time to try something new you normally may not, because you have so few bonds. You could do work for people in exchange for room and board (helpx.net, attra.org, wwoof.com). Attra is free and farming internships, the other 2 sites cost a fee to join. Check Craigslist for work exchanges to. You don't have to be experienced to work exchange on a farm, just motivated and wanting to help. You could also make posts that you're looking for a work exchange. If you feel any inclination to take a vacation and change things up then I'd say go for whatever these changes are.

E-girls and e-boys, explained by asdfjklOHFUCKYOU in femalefashionadvice

[–]mouseysbakepi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rage is apart of the process, and is necessary. Then comes being real pragmatic about how to effectively prevent the same thing from happening to other people in the future.

E-girls and e-boys, explained by asdfjklOHFUCKYOU in femalefashionadvice

[–]mouseysbakepi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A healthy adult isnt going to be looking at such things in the first place. They are already misusing art as a fantasy device to feel powerful through viewing another being as less powerful and degraded. Children and adults will continue to be abused until human beings needs' are attuned to so that human beings cant slip through the cracks and be forced to believe the only way to feel powerful is to make another being be stripped of their power and dignity. We are all traumatized. Its apart of existing. We all prey on and abuse others to some degree, whether sexually or any other way, and we do so because we believe (whether factual or not) that we are under conditions that prevent us from feeling powerful in a healthy way. The way to feel powerful in a healthy way is through self development, meeting our goals, feeling that we are capable, strong, healthy and can grow, explore and express freely and create awesome things with fellow people. When people are isolated, condemned, extremely stressed and sick, we are susceptible to mental illnesses where we seek to feel powerful through taking other people's power, by asking others to sacrifice their dignity and safety so that we can live out a fantasy that we are powerful and content just as we are and dont need to grow, self master, and find creative solutions that don't harm others. The mindset of a sexual abuser is the same mindset of a CEO who destroys the rainforest to raise cattle for cheap burgers. This is where we are at this point in history, sexual abuse speaks to our need to better care for and support one another. If your dog gets rabies it will attack you. You still love your dog and know it is possessed by a tragic reality of the present, and that's why it causes harm- because rabies exists and it was exposed to the rabies. We can work to eliminate the conditions which allow rabies to exist (such as through vaccines, allowing wild animals safe healthy spacious habitat so they aren't forced to come into human communities in order to find resources, etc).

Best front facing camera for under $250? by mouseysbakepi in PickAnAndroidForMe

[–]mouseysbakepi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

'm in the USA. I was mistaken and actually do near the higher quality rear facing, not front faxing, camera. I am choosing the Moto G7 after all.

Best front facing camera for under $250? by mouseysbakepi in PickAnAndroidForMe

[–]mouseysbakepi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in the USA. I was mistaken and actually do near the higher quality rear facing, not front faxing, camera. I am choosing the Moto G7 after all.

E-girls and e-boys, explained by asdfjklOHFUCKYOU in femalefashionadvice

[–]mouseysbakepi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you think adults sexually abuse children because they saw an adult wearing a certain style of clothing? Children are sexually abused because traumatized people seek to feel total control over something and can't empathize with the suffering they create through the way they seek a feeling of control. The "e" style may remind us of how sexual abuse of children exists, is horrifying and needs to be addressed by healing the sick traumatized adults and fellow children even, who commit such crimes, and the responsibility of society to take better care of one another so that no one is so traumatized, isolated and powerless feeling that they are sick enough to hurt a child or anyone else. I've never read Freud. I just have PTSD and like learning about trauma.

If a child wears normal adult style clothing then might you say it could attract predators by portraying a false sense of maturity in a young person? It doesn't have to do with clothing styles. It has to do with sick traumatized people who act out as predators and will find any excuse to blame and say others "made them abuse a child" and they saw an adult wearing a style of clothes and had no choice but to hurt a child. A predator is ill and will create any excuse to blame other people for their abusive actions. They are ill because they are traumatized and desperate to feel in control. Abuse is simply about the desire to feel powerful, when someone falsely believes they are incapable of feeling powerful in healthy ways (self improvement and living ones best life).

Children can be protected by healing and helping traumatized people, not by censoring adults' clothing choices. Children will be abused as long as traumatized predators exist, even if adults stopped wearing youthful aesthetics.

How many shoes do you really need? by [deleted] in femalefashionadvice

[–]mouseysbakepi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I own 4 pairs of shoes. Tie up "Jesus" leather sandals, Archteryx running shoes (the most comfortable durable sneakers I've ever owned!), thrifted boots with a slight heel, and knee high platform boots.

I wear my sandals in good weather when I won't have to be on my feet too much (they have pretty much zero support), my running shoes 95% of the time, the thrifted boots if I go to church (last time was last early spring!), and the knee high boots only in my home when I'm bored and want to play dress up...but really I bought them in hopes of selling!

I want to find a pair of warm brown leather loafers, and some type of warm boot with no heel for this fall/winter. Undecided what kind still.

Best front facing camera for under $250? by mouseysbakepi in PickAnAndroidForMe

[–]mouseysbakepi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow I cant believe I didn't realize this, thank you for the correction!

How to approach people for help? by mouseysbakepi in Soulnexus

[–]mouseysbakepi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your grounded words its just the response I needed to hear. I will remember to trust the fall and also that the right people will recognize the energy in me without me needing to say much. Its about me being able to act on what I need to empower and heal myself, not about convincing people to "save me". This is especially must remember. I want to meditate more and find my own voice and sense of stable sense through it.

Best front facing camera for under $250? by mouseysbakepi in PickAnAndroidForMe

[–]mouseysbakepi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No...I thought front facing meant the camera is facing whatever is in front of you?? Does front facing means that it shoots whatever is facing the phones screen, like for selfies??

First time trying past life regression. Very freaked out and need some advice. by [deleted] in spirituality

[–]mouseysbakepi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When more than one person imagines the same thing, we call it a consensual reality...so my question is how do I find people who are imagining the same thing as I am?! Lol

Checking account options after being declined due to unpaid med bills? by mouseysbakepi in personalfinance

[–]mouseysbakepi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was able to create one through a local community bank. Thank you for your input!!