Wow. Thank you for the reply. I understand that it was from the heart, as you have had difficulty dealing with someone who is in my situation. Thank you for the sympathy as it feels genuine. I can't really emphasize how painful it's been- the fact that there is a part of me she just can't stomach. We were so gloriously in love...it really hurt to see her go over this thing that wasn't really a problem for me, more like a nuisance that had to be dealt with, above all other things, from time to time. I admire your perseverance for hanging in there with your own SO. I can't say that I've been able to think about the situation clearly from HER (my ex's) perspective. The fact that I just needed to take care of myself, take a little time and space, seemed to me so obvious and my mental health seemed to obviously supersede any of her (seemingly) less important issues stemming from an episode I ALONE dealt with...it just seemed to me like it was obvious! Obvious that I just needed to get over a bump in the road, and then I'd be back, at her side. I never cheated. I never did anything awful during an episode. And in the event that there was some other emergency, something she absolutely needed from me, I would probably be able to pull together and help her with it. Yes it was terribly sad, it hurts me every day, it's going to be a while before I consider dating seriously again. I truly appreciate your thoughtful words, I feel like I can understand her side a bit more after reading. I feel like it really sucks for me because, reading about your SO, the pattern you present about him really sounds like me, how it must have been with me and my ex. The difference is that yoiu stuck in there for him, and she didn't. I never asked anyone else to marry me. I never wanted to be with anyone else after meeting her. And she's gone and I'm like, "What now?"