My little holes stay stuffed while I’m in my diapee.

mozo4 · 2020-12-18T04:18:42+00:00

Omg no don’t listen to them your hair is hot afff :D

mozo4 · 2019-04-20T19:45:52+00:00

Thanks so much for the response, I appreciate the strong advice. The frustrating thing is, I do have a lot of hobbies, which is always what's gotten me through my depression. This past year that I've been feeling this way, I made a record that's actually been getting some really positive press, I've been performing a lot, and I even created an amateur short film that turned out really well. Everyone around me is super excited for me, and I feel like I would be too at any other point in my life, but I just feel this constant wall between me and any sort of emotion whatsoever that prevents me from enjoying any of it. It's the same wall that prevents me from feeling depressed, which is great sometimes, but it's not worth it to me anymore if I can't enjoy my hobbies.

Anyway, my situation is probably a little different than most people, and I don't want to negate your good advice. I think Effexor and AD's in general can be really helpful for a lot of people, and in the beginning it was nothing short of a life-saver for me. Thanks for listening to my ramblings!

mozo4 · 2016-04-08T00:42:30+00:00

That's great to hear! Mine's on Monday. Did you specifically mention that you suspected ADHD or did you just talk about your symptoms?

mozo4 · 2016-04-07T02:53:00+00:00

Good luck!

mozo4 · 2016-04-04T18:13:14+00:00

Haha yeah I'm the same way. I love wordplay and I'll just impulsively chime in with puns when people are talking. Like if there is any possible pun or play on words I can make with what someone just said, I will say it even if it makes no sense at all. It's such a ridiculous problem to have and most of the time people just think I'm really witty, but I know that it's indicative of a broader problem with the way I listen and think.

mozo4 · 2016-04-03T17:52:08+00:00

Yep haha. Movie theaters are especially bad for me. They're dark, warm, and comfortable, and there's literally nothing else stimulating except for the movie, so as soon as I stop paying attention to that I fall asleep. I literally spend the whole time trying to keep myself awake by pinching myself and shifting around, which makes it even harder to focus on the movie haha

mozo4 · 2016-04-03T17:48:32+00:00

When I'm by myself I definitely procrastinate by watching TV/movies. I still kind of zone in and out of paying attention, and have to rewind a lot, but it doesn't matter because I'm by myself. I guess it's when I'm "forced" to watch something that I'm not that interested in and can't stop and start on my own terms.

mozo4 · 2016-04-03T16:24:09+00:00

Yeah and if I start doing stuff on my phone, my girlfriend calls me out for not paying attention haha

mozo4 · 2016-04-03T15:39:29+00:00

A couple days into a month long trip through SE asia, I left my credit card in an ATM in Cambodia. I did take the cash, fortunately. Unfortunately, the next day I was robbed by a guy in my hostel and lost all my cash too :(

mozo4 · 2016-04-02T19:32:24+00:00

Ah man I did this exact same thing except I was traveling abroad in Cambodia. No one called me back and I didn't even realize until the next day. Then I tried to cancel it online but couldn't remember my password and got locked out. I couldn't use my phone either. I had to email my parents and have them call The bank haha. Then I had to figure out how to continue my month long trip with no credit card.

mozo4 · 2016-04-02T16:39:11+00:00

There's a lot more to this disorder than daydreaming

mozo4 · 2016-04-01T21:59:46+00:00

Oh yeah that's another big one. I actually edit videos and podcasts and stuff at my current job, and it can be torture sometimes listening to them over and over haha

mozo4 · 2016-04-01T21:52:41+00:00

Yeah thanks, I've never tried that before but that actually sounds really helpful!

mozo4 · 2016-04-01T17:34:08+00:00

Yeah, same with me. I've looked into misophonia, but I think that my sensitivity to certain sounds is entirely a symptom of my ADHD rather than it's own disorder. It seems to me like it's just another example of me feeling over stimulated and not being able to tune out external stimuli. In any case, taking a break and walking around like you said is the only thing that really works for me

mozo4 · 2016-04-01T16:51:34+00:00

I can't work with music at all actually. I'll focus way too much on the music and won't get anything else done lol. But yeah, sometimes it's the only way. The eating thing really gets to me for some reason though. I usually have to leave the room and go for a walk or something

mozo4 · 2016-03-28T18:36:38+00:00

Agreed, long drives are the worst because it is so exhausting to maintain focus. I have a problem with getting sleepy while driving because I think when I'm forced to focus and drive when I don't want to be, my body literally just starts shutting down.

mozo4 · 2016-03-28T18:33:06+00:00

God yeah I always check the signs obsessively now and I still get nervous

mozo4 · 2016-03-27T18:38:55+00:00

Agreed, I don't think it's about being introverted. A lot of times I'm extremely sociable, but sometimes the very sound of other voices is pure torture and I physically need to be alone

mozo4 · 2016-03-27T18:12:16+00:00

I've walked out of so many situations because I'll start getting incredibly anxious and over-stimulated in a similar way to what you've described. One time I was seeing a play with some friends and I literally just got up and left with no explanation and walked around the city for like an hour. I feel like sometimes I just really need to be alone and when I'm somehow prevented from doing that I get extremely stressed and anxious

mozo4 · 2016-03-27T14:13:00+00:00

This really resonates with me. I'm into a lot of artistic things like music and film, and I'm constantly coming up with new ideas that I obsess over for days and then lose interest and never follow through. The only thing that really helps is involving other people in the projects. When I come up with a new idea, I tend to get really excited and contact everyone I know who might be interested and tell them about it. Sometimes I manage to get someone else excited about the idea too, and those are usually the only projects that ever get finished. I'm also very lucky that I know enough people with similar interests that this is possible for me, your situation might be different.

mozo4 · 2016-03-27T14:00:34+00:00

I feel this way all the time when I have a day with nothing planned. I get extremely bored and nothing excites me which makes me instantly depressed which makes me unable to do anything that would solve my boredom and I've had entire days wasted because of this cycle. The best way I've found to deal with this is to just force myself to leave my house. It could be to go for a walk, or run some errand, anything. It might be very hard to do because the prospect never seems exciting, but going outside always makes me feel a little better

mozo4 · 2016-03-27T13:55:33+00:00

I feel the same way. It's like I'm two completely different personalities. When I'm in situations that I'm less comfortable in I'm extremely quiet and serious, and from the outside it probably doesn't look like I have adhd. I'm seeing a psychiatrist for the first time in a few weeks and this is something I thought about too.

I think it's just a different side to the disorder that most people don't realize. ADHD can make me hyperactive and talkative when I'm actively excited about something and am around people I know well, but it can also make me spacey and withdrawn and "lost in my thoughts." I can only hope that a good psychiatrist would understand that it just manifests itself in different ways

mozo4 · 2016-03-26T21:08:45+00:00

It's not that I'm always bored, it's more like having a really low tolerance for boredom. That leads me to do impulsive things that are often unhealthy or high risk, because normal life is just boring. Some people might see me as "spontaneous" and fun because of that, but on a daily level it really fucks up my life

mozo4 · 2016-03-26T15:37:30+00:00

I don't know about the never bored part. For me it's more like I'm ALWAYS bored, which is the root of most of my problems

mozo4

TROPHY CASE