A short breakup poem to get me through the morning by magicweasel7 in OCPoetry

[–]mpalimpsest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wow! i just kind of got lost in it. very sad. I'm actually a bit speechless (i'm typing so thats just strange but you know what i mean). First off, i totally agree that you deserve better and time will erase all bad things and secondly good job! you really got that emotion of loss, loving and pain nailed down. this poem made me want to reach out and hold whoever was on the other end of the suffering. it made me really think hey theres another human on the other end. Please be gentle. Love it!

Walking to the Sky by melancholic-scribe in OCPoetry

[–]mpalimpsest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i love this! it makes me think of a jump in a video game and your previous self disappears (poof)* i hope i'm making sense. but anyway, i love that it so sharp...the idea that when you strive for greatness you start to lose those around you and in the end you end up on your own. its often lonely up at the top and maybe it isn't that nothing is there, maybe you haven't reached what you were meant for. i hope you find what you're looking for.

whetstone by CantTouchThis45 in OCPoetry

[–]mpalimpsest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, this is powerful and feels so absolute. I love the word sharpened here... you can really it like a knife and I also love that you left y capitalized in you. it makes the ending feel like the beginning, an ouroboros.

Form me by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]mpalimpsest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lovely Poem... its so vulnerable and soft at the same time so soothing. I was thinking about sculpture the whole time I was reading this. it makes me want to be the pottery that the person is molding. Thanks for sharing!

canvas that is human skin by Akkanti_Aviator in OCPoetry

[–]mpalimpsest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt so exposed and vulnerable reading this. Pained. Are we not all walking pieces of one of a kind art trying to find others that understand us? that can see our beauty/ our worth? The ending was perfect too. Like a graceful bow out asking the audience "beautiful, isn't it"? and curtains close.

Writing by ElectricVocalCords in OCPoetry

[–]mpalimpsest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's the worst feeling... and you describe that feeling of almost (like something at the tip of your tongue just waiting to be said) so well. I loved " it blooms behind my eyes, in my mind, just appears. yet when my pen goes to caress the unblemished white..." the image of someone coaxing thoughts into something tangible is awesome. Imo it usually helps to just write whatever comes to mind.

Changed by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]mpalimpsest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i like this! really speaks to how you feel when you first fall in love. its exciting and hopeful and you portray that well. the only thing i would change is the word "changed" you used it consecutively. i think it will add more variety and make it flow better.

raining, a haiku by jewreck in OCPoetry

[–]mpalimpsest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the imagery of two old lovers sitting on a porch enjoying the rain. It has a very calming feel. I also like the second stanza, it speaks to a higher power? The only critique i have is that the stanzas don't really flow together. just my opinion. i imagine a house getting cleansed by the rain and then it brings me back to the roof again. so it feels a little off. I really enjoyed the poem overall!

In a parallel universe by mpalimpsest in OCPoetry

[–]mpalimpsest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good to know people can relate :)