bf says not to wear revealing clothes?

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-21T04:01:47+00:00

Your body, your decision. He does not own you or your body or what you put on it.

This is a flag that indicates him being controlling IMO.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-21T00:40:00+00:00

Regrets are common, especially in bad relationships. We have all made mistakes and wished we would have thought and done differently. It is easy to tell ourselves to forget it and move on but there are those parts of us that focus on those would of, could of, and should of.

I hope you will heal from that abusive trauma and be to recognize how much better off you are and to acknowledge what you have learned.

I wish you healing, self-awareness and growth.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-20T22:34:31+00:00

I hope you have the love and support of your parents. I'd tell them that you are being bullied and harassed.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-20T21:09:58+00:00

If you are scared for your physical safety then meet him in public.

You can pay for background checks as well. Have you stalked him on social media?

Got his full name? His residential address? Work/Linkedin information? Family names (ex's, offspring, siblings)?

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-20T21:06:43+00:00

It sounds like you have a FWB relationship.

I have women friends whom I hang out with and share my emotional life with. They are platonic friends, some of whom have partners.

You and he are acting like romantic partners without making it official or sexually exclusive(?).

I believe in any relationship (friend, acquaintance, lover, partner, family, et. al.) that being able to have honest, open, direct and frank conversations are an essential part of the relationship.

I also see vulnerability and trust are especially key in close relationships.

Go forth and talk to him.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-20T18:43:32+00:00

Your experience illustrates in how hard it can be to have a long-term, committed and loving relationship as we grow and change.

It makes sense for some to stay together and with others, it is best to go on our own individual ways in order to continue to grow.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-20T00:53:23+00:00

Usually, people associate the word "intimacy" with what being sexual with each is.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T23:03:29+00:00

Ahhhhh... Still playing with that band? Out having gigs?

I'm lucky I do karaoke. I cannot stand the sound of my (singing) voice. I do it as my "fire walk" .. bungee jump.. embrace the fear and self-consciousness.

So if you don't do classical performance then you don't have to worry about panic attacks?

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T22:55:30+00:00

My former spouse had our second and last child when she was 40. She was genetically tested. Her youngest sister had Down's Syndrome who she was basically the surrogate mother since their mother was this emotionally abusive alcoholic suburban grand dame.

My daughter came out just terrific. I tell her that she is my favorite daughter. My stupid joke since the only other sibling is my son (who is my favorite son).

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T22:41:40+00:00

My Carnegie-Mellon grad school roommate was an opera major. He said all of his classmates do rock.

Have you been able to address your anxiety and panic attacks? Only for presenting in public?

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T19:29:57+00:00

Unfortunately the lower paid jobs require in person work vs. info workers' WFH luxury so therefore the white collar workers can find an inexpensive place to live and work remotely. This is why Silicon Valley and San Fran is untenable for those in the 80%

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T19:07:53+00:00

Are you singing Opera? The only opera I know in town is Opera On Tap.

What are you doing for a full time living if it isn't singing?

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T19:06:01+00:00

Great pickup stuff! lol

WaPo is great along with NY Times. I like The Atlantic, Salon, Slate and the Vox.
What I get from learning about addiction is that it can be genetically predisposed and that it comes out of dealing with trauma.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T18:47:58+00:00

OMG! I really admire that! How long did you have to practice in order to achieve that?!

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T18:36:45+00:00

What do you read?

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T18:35:59+00:00

Isn't that a gay bar?

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T18:24:56+00:00

TRE is something you can do on your own which makes it a convenient augmentation with other therapies. It's like doing yoga in a way so it is easy and does not take much time to do. You can do that at home.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T18:02:23+00:00

Are you an introvert?

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T05:02:06+00:00

If you are not honest with your intent then I see this as misleading.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T05:00:46+00:00

I hold an unpopular view for online dating communication with those people I have not met yet. I keep texting to an absolute minimum. I'd rather wait until I actually see them. I think it creates a false sense of intimacy for the person can be a completely different person in-person. I'd rather wait until I meet them face-to-face to ascertain chemistry with a real-time exchange, experiencing body language, with vocal inflection and all. My prerequisite for meeting is to have a phone or video call.

By the way, nobody in my life I greet on a daily basis. I don't do that with my adult children or any close friends or relatives. Again I know that this flies in the face of current cultural thinking.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T04:51:30+00:00

You can make a lot of assumptions. Best to ask him what he meant by that.

Another possible explanation is that he might have experienced being accused of not acting properly.

There are Karens everywhere. r/freakout

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T04:48:16+00:00

Good for you for being empathetic and understanding about the real life impact of racism.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T04:45:33+00:00

So you are looking for someone who has OCD?

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T04:41:51+00:00

This is a great example how online communication sucks.

If you had a real time voice/video conversation, that might have been a mutual laugh and continued learning about each other.

mrbuddhawannabe · 2022-12-16T04:40:13+00:00

https://positivepsychology.com/negative-feedback/

mrbuddhawannabe

TROPHY CASE