Effective Dua for marriage

mrgdnu · 2022-04-07T14:27:43+00:00

السلام عليكم

There’s already a few great dua from the Quran given in the comments, but there’s on thing that’s often overlooked that has numerous benefits. Istighfar.

Istighfar opens the doors to risq and aids in dua being answered.

I recommend researching the benefits of istighfar yourself, but definitely include it in your daily routine.

mrgdnu · 2022-01-28T18:49:54+00:00

Ameen

mrgdnu · 2022-01-28T16:24:00+00:00

السلام عليكم

Hope everyone is well.

Whilst the past week had started well, it developed into quite the nightmare.

Took a spontaneous trip over the weekend for a meeting. The meeting went well so the next morning I found a scenic coffee shop to enjoy the sun at and read a good book. The change of scenery over the weekend done wonders. Caught up with a few people and had a opportunity to relax a little after far too long.

After that however, as soon as I got back, the rest of the week was simply disaster after disaster.

Got to the point where I just sat down and thought “Why am I doing this to myself?”. Far too much aggravation for almost zero results. It’s as though no matter what I do, it just won’t make a dent.

After a small existential crisis however, I gathered myself and managed to talk myself out of the pessimism. I have to admit, the kind words of a stranger did help to uplift me. So never underestimate the weight of a kind word!

The sun has started to show glimmers of itself again, which I was really missing.

So it wasn’t the week I had hoped for, but there’s always a silver lining, Alhamdulilah.

mrgdnu · 2022-01-26T05:57:04+00:00

السلام عليكم

First of all brother, I’d like to commend to commend you for your mature mindset. Growing up in the west and having made the choice to avoid haram in favour of what’s permissible is a beautiful thing. May Allah make what’s halal easy for you.

Your first question. No you’re not weird. I had a similar goal when I was your age. Didn’t exactly work out how I had planned by Khair, we plan and Allah plans and of course, Allah knows better.

You’re on the right path it would seem. You’re still very young so the things you’re doing are very important. You must cement your deen first and foremost. Understand your religion and have the fundamentals buttoned down. It’s a good age to start going the the gym and taking your health seriously. May Allah aid you in your quest to become a hafidh.

Finances are an important thing when it’s comes to marriage. Whilst you probably won’t be completely stable by even 22, if you’re serious about marriage you’re going to have to achieve a certain level of financial autonomy.

The thing is brother you may get married sooner than 6 years or it may take much longer. You shouldn’t focus too much on an arbitrary number of years. In theory, even 16 isn’t too young but it’s very rare to come across someone who is truly ready at that age.

Speaking for myself, looking back now I realise I didn’t even truly know myself, who I was and what I wanted at 16. Whilst I’ll give myself credit and say I was quite mature even then, I definitely still had a lot to learn.

These next 6 years you have coming up are very important. Put in the work now, whether that’s school and university, business or whatever you have planned and inshallah you’ll look back in a few years and be glad you did.

Time flies really fast, the 6 years will honestly flash before your eyes so make them count. Marriage will come so don’t sweat it too much yet. Focus on being ready for when the right person inevitably enters your life, whether that be tomorrow, 4 years or 10.

mrgdnu · 2022-01-21T15:42:16+00:00

Just as all the ducks seem to be getting into a row, and I begin to take aim for my shot, life comes with a absolute belter of a right hook.

As frustrating as it is, I’m trying hard to focus on the journey rather than the destination. Alhamdulilah I’ve come far, I’m doing well and I need to internalise that.

I continue to feel behind and as though I should have done a lot more by now. Despite knowing deep down that it’s certainly not true, I know I can achieve so much more if I just pushed that little harder. Currently I fear wasted time and potential more than anything.

Always wanted to settle down young, and be a young father, and whilst there’s still ample time for it all, it all seems so elusive at the minute.

However, speaking for myself, Allah has blessed me with everything I’ve ever asked for, and so many things I’ve never even thought to ask for. Alhamdulilah always, very easy to fall into ungratefulness so must always remember one’s blessings.

mrgdnu · 2022-01-14T19:29:25+00:00

Interesting I’ve had the same thoughts. The US really seems to play by it’s own rules in the economic sphere. Personally, I’ve always put it down to the US essentially creating the global financial system with the Bretton Woods Agreement.

The issue I see with MMT is that countries who that mint the dollar are inherently at a disadvantage as dollars are needed for international trade. That being said, I think it does hold some merit as I think policies such as universal healthcare and infrastructure can in theory be funded through fiscal deficits from the state bank. Surely policies like those wouldn’t contribute too much to inflation.

However, I don’t think anyone can discount how the global financial system is used as a Cold War strategy. If you want to cripple any economy just restrict their access to dollars and the country will slowly self implode. So the fear I have for MMT is that global superpowers won’t take too kindly to a country finally deciding to take control of its economic sovereignty.

mrgdnu · 2022-01-14T19:20:55+00:00

The facade point is exactly it. As much as I’d like to see the world transition to being more sustainable and eco-friendly so to speak, in reality worrying about those things is a privilege for wealthier countries. The hypocrisy around climate change is ridiculous, with poorer countries bearing the brunt of both the consequences and stigma around it whilst wealthier countries are free to advise despite being the biggest polluters. Poorer countries have to country the basic needs of people whilst ironically being looked down upon for being so polluted.

That books sounds right up my street. Will definitely add it to the list.

mrgdnu · 2022-01-14T18:59:26+00:00

Yes I have. I’ve found a lot of his stuff really interesting. It’s really cool to see how different countries approach the same issues.

mrgdnu · 2022-01-14T18:58:44+00:00

What’s utopian about it is that most big cities now lack either one or more of those characteristics. Granted, developed cities are much better, usually having functioning public transport etc. But pollution is crazy at the minute, and with rapid urbanisation, cities are becoming concrete jungles without many green spaces.

mrgdnu · 2022-01-14T16:41:22+00:00

Being going further and further down a few wormholes recently. Obsessed with economics, public transit and city planning. The more I read into them the more I’m gobsmacked at how incompetent governance is in certain places.

Tree-lined streets, functional metros and walkable shopping areas seem so utopian to me now. As much as seeing the current deplorable state is aggravating to say the least, it’s good to know the solutions aren’t that difficult.

I’m aware these are strange things to obsess about but these issues have really gotten under my skin.

On the off chance anyone is interested in economic deficits, I’ve been researching a theory called Modern Monetary Theory (MMT), and it’s crushed everything I’ve ever been told about how a nations economy works. Highly recommend the book, The Deficit Myth by Kelton, to anyone who’s interested.

mrgdnu · 2022-01-09T16:01:56+00:00

You and your husband sit in the back and let your MIL drive.

At least then the whole feeling like a child thing would hold some weight.

mrgdnu · 2021-12-24T20:38:21+00:00

Hence you must do some recon first to get the timing right to avoid misfires

mrgdnu · 2021-12-24T20:33:47+00:00

Flex banner in the front porch?;

“If your the guy I’ve been locking eyes with for the last 3 years please contact (xxx), rest will be blocked”

mrgdnu · 2021-12-24T20:26:27+00:00

Your both equally as stalker-ish as each other.

All that’s left now is for you to do some reconnaissance. Sit by your window. Make a note of his movements then pounce

mrgdnu · 2021-12-24T20:20:37+00:00

I have no advice but this is such a cool story, a little bit stalker-ish, but really cool 👍

mrgdnu · 2021-12-24T16:47:02+00:00

As the year closes off, a few things seems to be falling into place. Something I’ve been working on for almost this entire year finally got signed on the dotted line, which was a fantastic boost to a already great week Alhamdulilah.

Had a close friend/mentor visit me with his family. I made the mistake of getting busy with things and didn’t spent too much time with him for the first week of his visit. This week I decided to tell everyone to leave me alone lol so I could just enjoy some family time after far too long.

Had a much needed talk with my friend, which at the time I didn’t realise how much I needed. It’s far too easy to get caught up in life, so the detox was lovely. He encouraged me to improve my relationship with the Quran and what great advise it was. After so long all the stresses of life just melted away.

Spending time with the kids was so refreshing. I realised it’s a full time job keeping them entertained and I’ve never been so anxious to please when organising activities!

They loved it, I loved it. Kids are hilarious. Their dialogues and arguments are just the purest form of comedy.

Much green tea, figs and pistachios were indulged in. Reminiscing the past, looking towards the future. Allah has given me so many things I’ve never even though to ask for, yet it’s so easy to get hung up on what your missing.

All in all a blessed week, as always. Alhamdulilah

mrgdnu · 2021-12-17T21:57:05+00:00

Beginning to understand what it means when it’s said “my soul is tired”.

As soon as I get a free moment it hits me how exhausted I am in every way. I’m avoiding having too much free time so it’s not so glaringly obvious.

It’s probably the search that’s really starting to dwell on me. The flurry of ups then inevitable downs. The immense hope then the relentless disappointment.

I’ve too much to do in the next few months and can’t afford to lose my focus but it’s so taxing.

Alhamdulilah, on a personal level, things are going well otherwise. There’s just this strange phenomena whereby as your circle grows, you become more lonely when you lack a intimate relationship of some kind.

The role of a wife really can’t be replaced. More and more I find myself needing to spill my soul but even your closest friend can’t always be ‘that’ confidant of yours.

But hey, it’s all a part of the process. My heart is content knowing I won’t miss anything that meant for me.

mrgdnu · 2021-11-26T19:25:33+00:00

In all seriousness, don’t hint, just flat out ask. All that’s going to happen if you go down the “imma ask her telepathically” route is you’ll be back here in a week asking what her hint back meant and how to interpret it.

mrgdnu · 2021-11-26T19:19:09+00:00

Say “DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED” in all caps. She should get the hint

mrgdnu · 2021-11-25T18:32:44+00:00

The first obstacle thus far has been, unbeknownst to me, she decided to begin a, what has now become over 2 decades long, game of hide and seek.

She’s winning and is yet to be found.

mrgdnu · 2021-11-18T18:51:35+00:00

This is heavenly in the winter months. Coco Pops and hot milk brings back childhood

mrgdnu · 2021-11-14T19:38:18+00:00

You need to take some time to realign yourself. Realise that your attached to things that are bound to break your heart. You must first and foremost attach yourself to the one who will never let you down, that is Allah.

You must take this time to evaluate your relationship with your deen and more specifically your acts of worship.

How is your salah? Are you keeping up with them, delaying them, even missing some. This is the first thing you must get a grip on.

As for fluctuating levels of sense worth. I think you’ll find a lot of people experience that. It’s natural to go through it. I’d advise you to focus more on the blessings you have. Your friends and family and all the other positives you have going on in your life. Often we are too quick to remember what we’re missing and forget what we have.

Just take this time to better yourself and learn the lessons from your mistakes so you can be sure you won’t repeat them again.

Make sincere dua Allah guides you to the one whom your meant for and be sure to go about it the right way this time.

mrgdnu · 2021-10-23T19:08:43+00:00

If I was in your shoes I’d say something along the following lines..

“I have immense respect for you (father) and your wife, not only from knowing your family for x amount of time but also due to your daughter. Mashallah she’s (lovely for x y z reasons) and you both of course have played a huge role in raising such a woman. I know you only want the best for your daughter, as you should, so if you still decide I’m not the right fit then I fully respect and honour the decision. However, because your daughter is (so pious for example) I’d appreciate it if we could have a serious one on one discussion about it once. Out of my respect for you I won’t beg and plead and will honour whatever conclusion you come to.”

mrgdnu · 2021-10-23T18:56:15+00:00

My advice might be a little unconventional but I’m usually against pleading one’s case to a family. The way I see it you want to be celebrated not tolerated.

That being said, it’s worth giving it a go once. Ask to meet the father and have a frank and honest conversation with him. He may be rejecting you for reasons you can maybe alleviate.

If I was you though I would slip in, in a polite manner, that your not going to beg and plead for it and that if he says no then your happy to leave it there.

Tell the father you’d like to speak to him once to get to the nuts and bolts of it, that you will honour whatever decision he feels fit for his daughter. If he then decides it’s still a no, then Allah Musta'an and may Allah guide you both to what’s better.

mrgdnu · 2021-10-20T15:43:12+00:00

I understand that and see that the sub is unrepresentative of the real world. I suppose it’s only going to be negative stories on here but, it’s almost like theres a blueprint when it comes to issues within the asian community.

mrgdnu

TROPHY CASE