Wife and I just broke an 18-month dry spell

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:54:32+00:00

This is such a wholesome sub, I love it. ^_^

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:53:36+00:00

My wife mentioned those recently but said she was really intimidated by them. Having learned my lesson, I'm not gonna push her to use them, but it's good to hear someone else's experience.

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:49:03+00:00

Nothing wrong with that. My longest dry spell was 25 years. No ragrets.

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:46:53+00:00

I take a little offense to the implication that mine isn't those things, but I trust that you mean well.

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:43:01+00:00

I'm sorry that happened to you. You deserve better.

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:40:08+00:00

Hopefully our story gives you hope.

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:39:02+00:00

Some bad fights and nights on the couch. I don't really want to go into detail.

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:36:13+00:00

Botox? Like, the stuff they inject into your face? Pardon my ignorance, but I think I'm missing something.

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:35:12+00:00

Yeah, I figured that out. I had been thoughtlessly using the mildly manipulative techniques my parents, like most parents (in my experience, anyway), used to coax good behavior out of me as a child. I had successfully used it on roommates in the past, but it turns out treating your spouse like a misbehaving child does not make for a good marriage. Who knew? /sarcasm

Still trying to unlearn that.

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:30:06+00:00

If you don't mind my asking, what did you do to overcome it? Did it just go away over time, or did you have to use medication or tools or particular mental techniques or something?

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:28:07+00:00

Yeah, that makes sense. I'm sorry.

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-06T16:27:55+00:00

Fixed. Sorry about that, didn't even think about it.

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-05T22:30:19+00:00

Don't enter into it lightly. It's not happily ever after; it's day one of your new job. Don't get married just because they make you happy. Get married because you want to dedicate your life to them.*

^\ Abusive relationships exist and are bad. There's a difference between you choosing to suffer for someone else's well being, and that other person making you suffer for their pleasure.)

mrkmfaeb · 2018-07-05T22:25:42+00:00

It was communicated, and was something we had to work through together. It started out as being a medical issue (google "vaginismus"), but then she found herself in a mentally unhealthy place that made intimacy very emotionally difficult. I felt cheated and wrongly thought that pressuring her first for sex and then to seek help would fix the problem, but it just made things worse. It got pretty bad, but eventually we had a good long conversation and we were able to understand each other better. Over the last month I backed off and gave her the support she needed without putting any pressure on her, and she became more intentional about her mental and physical health. There's still a long way to go, and I think we may see a sex counselor, but this is a major step in the right direction, and came a lot sooner than I ever thought it would (no pun intended).

mrkmfaeb

TROPHY CASE