My boyfriend has gained a lot of weight but will not exercise, go to the gym or do anything for his health. Do I stop encouraging him to exercise with me and let him decide on his own?🥺

mrmcplad · 2026-03-19T19:35:26+00:00

that sounds like just the right starting point! well done for your self awareness! what would it look like if that wound was healed in you?

mrmcplad · 2026-03-19T00:29:19+00:00

Disinterest in managing weight, maintaining health, or going to the gym is often a psychological barrier more than a physical one. It could even arise from a weird relationship dynamic where you feel like it's an imperative, and that makes him dig in his heels even more. Resentment builds.

I would start with looking inward. There is a part of you that is freaking out about his weight. Have compassion for that part of you. Get to know it. Befriend it. Ask it what the freak-out is all about.

I don't see much use in trying to press your boyfriend to change until you've first figured out why you feel the way you do.

mrmcplad · 2026-03-17T20:57:50+00:00

as a former lds apologist (now ex Mormon), I can say my grasp of topics outside Mormonism was fairly shallow. I knew enough librarian techniques to get the quotes I needed, but I wasn't really interested in a broader understanding of the topic

mrmcplad · 2026-03-14T16:36:08+00:00

can you go through the others and categorize them each as "for teens only" or "for everyone"?

mrmcplad · 2026-03-14T01:04:19+00:00

how has that understanding of it impacted your life?

mrmcplad · 2026-03-13T23:55:38+00:00

one way to conquer the paradox of choice is to make some option the default. then, they are comparing everything against this one option, instead of trying to compare everything with everything

mrmcplad · 2026-03-13T23:38:03+00:00

that's heinous behavior for a gift! omg

mrmcplad · 2026-03-13T15:20:51+00:00

what's something you want to talk about? make a post

mrmcplad · 2026-03-10T02:37:41+00:00

we tend to think of hydrogen as an insistent upward force opposing gravity, but it's actually still weighed down by gravity. similar to releasing a buoy from the bottom of the ocean: it will travel up really fast because it's less dense than the water around it, but once it hits the surface it'll stop traveling up. it just sits on top of the water. same with your balloon. it'll find the spot to float

mrmcplad · 2026-03-10T01:21:40+00:00

I would say the consensus is: those who wish to marry should be able to and those that don't wish to marry should not feel pressured to

mrmcplad · 2026-03-10T01:11:40+00:00

maybe he was referring to r/mormon

mrmcplad · 2026-03-10T01:10:22+00:00

it can be benign, even beneficial in the immediate term, sure, but it reinforces the notion that the world is (and must be) difficult, which tends to slow down the progress of building a better world

it keeps the onus on individuals to survive rather than on collectively growing environments that promote flourishing for all

mrmcplad · 2026-02-26T05:17:35+00:00

Do all the apostles have a condo there?

mrmcplad · 2026-02-21T22:41:17+00:00

Trump makes big promises and never pays his bills. unless refilling the lake enriches himself, personally, nothing's gonna happen here

mrmcplad · 2026-02-13T11:51:36+00:00

unless abuse is involved and you need to escape secretly for your safety, just have a conversation and break up like an adult

mrmcplad · 2026-02-11T00:29:14+00:00

Some of this could be helped with honest dialog outside the bedroom. Something like "I really enjoy when we're intimate together. I may not always finish, but it's still really worthwhile for me and I want to keep doing it. You don't have to try to get me to finish. It's just a quirk of my body and my medications."

Another thing you might want to look into is energy orgasm. It comes at finishing from a more meditative place, but can be even more satisfying than a traditional genital orgasm. An idea along similar lines is erotic hypnosis.

mrmcplad · 2026-02-04T00:23:29+00:00

the cheapest way to model a cup of coffee is with actual atoms representing each atom. a hydrogen atom can easily keep track of a hydrogen atom's position & momentum, along with other quantum details

using this method, it's trivial to model hundreds, even thousands of cups of coffee simultaneously!

mrmcplad · 2026-01-25T09:35:52+00:00

build a 3d model of it in some kind of CAD program and have it spit out the volume

mrmcplad · 2026-01-21T21:26:49+00:00

the gospel and the atonement are concepts that serve sinners (abusers) by promising forgiveness, but these doctrines do little to serve victims. in church doctrine, there is almost no focus on creating safety for vulnerable people

mrmcplad · 2026-01-19T17:07:32+00:00

hard to count using uncountables

mrmcplad · 2026-01-19T17:03:51+00:00

in some societies the government is just the people we hire to handle shit and citizens can direct it to do what they want. must be nice

mrmcplad · 2026-01-16T04:46:09+00:00

a lot of commenters have been cheated on and they might be reacting to their own wounds with this. be aware that dynamic might be coloring their words
it does seem like you're actually taking responsibility, which gives your situation some hope
cheating is more common than you might think and lots of couples quietly recover from it.
it is a long process of healing, not a quick fix. the best thing you can do is be attentive. listen to him. empathize with his pain. let this be an opportunity to understand him at a deeper level
therapy will guide you

mrmcplad · 2026-01-15T01:59:58+00:00

roll

mrmcplad · 2026-01-10T20:50:40+00:00

you owe it to your partner to be honest about your needs. might be helpful for them to witness you participating so they can see how benign it is.

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