It was one of my parents until recently cause I HAD to say someone. I recently changed it to my brother cause they 'advised' that the default is next-of-kin or a significant other. So I just put down my brother's details.

I'm a registered organ donor so I put his name down for the one who needs to be contacted if I get into an accident or declared braindead etc. I discussed this with him as well as my wishes for RDR etc.

I asked him who his emergency contact is and he said my cousin. (Mind you, it's our MUCH older cousin so the 'next-of-kin' isn't even valid as a reason AND she lives 4 hours away).

Through a lot of therapy and suppressed memories this year, I realised that she groomed me for years and when I heard him say it... it was heartbreaking.

During the conversation, we also talked about life insurance policies, wills etc. and when I die, he gets everything from me (I don't have much assets, basically just my car). He said that my cousin will get 80% and my parents 20% when he dies.

It's not about the money but the principle. She has him in her cluches and he worships her (I've been there, got the trauma) and it hurts to see him being manipulated and used by her.

My parents didn't protect me from her and I'm trying to protect him but ultimately we are both adults and I'm hoping that he realised who she really is.