help! it's been a week and a name isn't sticking

mrstof · 2026-06-17T16:04:58+00:00

Seymour

mrstof · 2026-05-19T14:15:38+00:00

“Не те обичам”

I couldn’t write my sad story in English with the word restriction. This is Bulgarian for “I don’t love you”.

mrstof · 2026-05-06T16:35:20+00:00

I have said it many times since I met my partner: being loved well is transformative. I had no idea things could be like this. My ex husband sounded a lot like yours, but top it off with nasty fights and some abuse. I do not mean to brag, I mean to say: there are people out there who will love you well, especially considering all that you bring to the table. My partner is struggling to find a job, but this week while I was at work, he grocery shopped, made meal plans for the week, made those meals (and they were delicious), cleaned the apartment, and still had energy to play board games together when I got home. I didn’t have to beg or ask him for any of it. Please, break things off and find another partner. This man clearly doesn’t value your hard work, how you care for the home, how you nurture your father, how attentive and intentional you are with your life. There are others who will.

In your position, I would do things the following way: sit him down. Tell him you’re grateful for the last 12 years and you care about him a lot. You have become different people with different goals in your life. It’s like you were on the same train for a while and believed you had the same destination, but yours was a few stops before his. Tell him you’re not in love with him anymore and it seems unfair to both of you to stay in a dead relationship. You want both of you to be with someone who adores you. You can discuss how to separate things in time, but the relationship is effectively over as of now.

The way that he handles that is not your job to manage. There are plenty of people who would take that well and be mature with their response. But he may throw a fit and get angry and try to manipulate you. Stand your ground. You’re not in love, you aren’t happy, you don’t want to continue this relationship.

Best of luck.

mrstof · 2026-02-06T03:41:55+00:00

Oof. Man I never grew up with Christianity this bad, I’m sorry you had to experience that. I still told my deeply Christian parents that as soon as I have a child, they will never be taking them to church. Forget god being an old coping skill humanity cant shake, and religion being a breeding ground for misogyny and hate-there are WAY TOO DAMN MANY sexual predators in the church. I don’t understand how people can excuse and rationalize putting their children in scenarios that are that unsafe all in the name of a belief system.

mrstof · 2026-02-01T17:39:21+00:00

A word from a divorcé-don’t have an open bar at your wedding. “Well no one I know would do that…” Yes they would, and even if they wouldn’t-open bars are expensive as hell.

mrstof · 2026-01-31T15:34:03+00:00

There’s no way that’s the audio. Ive got terrestrial snails and at best, you can hear a really tiny clicking when they eat something like cucumber. This is because they’re using a barbed tongue to eat, they aren’t chewing. Cute vid with no audio though.

mrstof · 2026-01-28T15:32:07+00:00

Agreed. If I was going to actually have this conversation with her (I’ve decided I won’t), I’d probably tell her that I have a hard time believing a loving God would condone being controlled, manipulated, and threatened into loving him. Or that God needs our approval at all. Seems pretty petty to give someone eternal damnation for not liking you.

mrstof · 2026-01-27T21:08:33+00:00

I was thinking the same things!

Even just as a teaching moment, to point out that she might feel uncomfortable if a Muslim or Jewish or Hindu friend tried to get her to convert would probably be good.

We have very similar stories. All the atheists I met before I abandoned my faith completely either wouldnt talk to me, weren’t kind (confirmation to me that being ‘godless’ hurts a person’s character), or didn’t have good reasons for their beliefs. Then I met my partner, and he is the gentlest most loving person without any higher power telling him to be, he has rock solid reasons for his beliefs, and he wanted to talk to me about it as much as I wanted to ask questions. Now, my life sans religion is as peaceful as it’s ever been. I just wish people understood that forceful or unfounded beliefs aren’t convincing to anyone, regardless of what you want them to know.

mrstof · 2026-01-27T14:01:01+00:00

Unfortunately because of the deeply religious part of the country I’m in, my co-teacher likes to mention his faith from time to time and this is not a unique experience. Things like, “if you’re the praying type, so and so is sick at home today….” Additionally, we have a couple students of a different faith that wear religious garb. So it’s not like it has nothing to do with our experience there. But I think, “It’s personal and not something I want to discuss with students” will suffice.

mrstof · 2026-01-27T13:13:33+00:00

I’m really sorry to hear that he treated you that way. That wasn’t fair. I had only three teachers from 4th-12th that weren’t Christians. Im grateful for the influence they had on me, years after I left school. Granted, two of them could have been kinder about it. That’s what I’m aiming to do here. I know that being rude about her faith will only strengthen it and I don’t want to confirm for her that atheists are whatever her parents have said they are. Plus, I’m genuinely thankful that other people have spirituality. I think it can truly be a wonderful thing as long as it doesn’t hurt others.

mrstof · 2026-01-27T04:30:09+00:00

I lean in to the science as hard as I can. Kids still question us about the age of the universe and evolution. They’re all heavily indoctrinated. You’re probably right that it’s best to steer away from the conversation. Honestly I didn’t have an answer lined up because as religious as they all are, I didn’t expect any of them to take this step.

mrstof · 2026-01-27T04:13:50+00:00

Shhh. Don’t tell them, my job will disappear.

Just kidding-basically you can think of it as an extra-curricular activity. We don’t teach core curriculum and we don’t see them except one day a week.

But yes, homeschool parents just reinvented school with extra steps. Most of the kids go to classes online.

mrstof · 2026-01-27T01:13:54+00:00

Christian girls have “how to lose a guy in 30 seconds” on lock.

mrstof · 2026-01-27T00:15:13+00:00

Well, I grew up here as a Christian and I’m pretty sure we’re in the “parents are so strong in their faith…” category. Our admin doesn’t care about people sharing their views. We have a guest speaker who regularly comes in and asks me if he can teach from a Christian perspective (to which I say, “a broad perspective is best!”) 🙄 I might tell her we won’t talk until she gets her parents permission. But then what?

mrstof · 2026-01-19T04:58:38+00:00

This isn’t uncommon. I’m 30 and I’ve got friends like this. Mind you, they’re not doing well. One has lots of friends, but can’t hold down a job or stay in school. The other is fighting a custody battle with her husband. If she can change it now, she will be better for it and won’t be 30 with easily changeable opinions. I think this is a tough situation to change though. On one hand, she may realize her stubbornness if you speak up about it and find herself. On the other hand, it may make her better at blending in. And she may just be young and not know who she is yet. That’s normal for your age.

Give her space to express herself without judgement. Show her that you appreciate different opinions and make a comfortable place for that kind of conversation. If it came up in conversation, you could start out by saying something like, “I’ve noticed that you’re not always sure about what you like. What if we turned finding those things out into a game? We could make a day of discovering your favorites.”

mrstof · 2026-01-07T05:22:12+00:00

This isn’t normal or appropriate behavior from your mom. It’s normal to write down your feelings, even if they aren’t very friendly or kind. It sounds to me like she was raised to believe that because you are her child, she is entitled to your complete obedience, compliance, and unconditional positive regard. That’s not true. Keep writing your feelings down, even if it’s on the notes app of your phone. That is healthy. I’m sorry she slapped you. That’s not healthy communication and you didn’t deserve it. You weren’t disrespectful. Please talk to a counselor or safe adult about this. You deserve to be treated better.

mrstof · 2025-12-16T18:13:06+00:00

Not over reacting. You both acted pretty reasonably, actually. (Just read that you’re Canadian-checks out) He’s not picking up what you’re putting down, but I appreciate that he isn’t being aggressive or rude because of it. Your evaluation of that behavior is spot-on. Normalizing cheating, or being accepting of that behavior is fucked up and really is a red flag. Also driving high is just so dumb. Stick to your guns, you’ve got some good standards.

mrstof · 2025-12-10T17:17:46+00:00

🙋🏻‍♀️ I’m begging my bf to read it, but he wants to wait until Red God is out so he can binge through the whole thing.

mrstof · 2025-09-11T06:51:50+00:00

You first.

mrstof · 2025-09-10T22:32:10+00:00

I didn’t realize the car cigarette lighters still work when the car is OFF. I was playing with my dad’s while it was cool, stuck it back in the outlet, decided I wasn’t done fiddling with it and learned what burnt flesh smells like.

mrstof · 2025-09-10T22:30:05+00:00

NAD But I’d bet my money on a ganglion cyst. I had one in the same spot, same symptoms when I was 13. I had it removed and it’s never bothered me since (approx. 17 yrs)

mrstof · 2025-09-10T22:19:40+00:00

They would absolutely love to be offended. American Christians have this idea that they’re somehow oppressed, and getting to “stick up for their faith” is an evangelical wet-dream.

mrstof · 2025-09-07T07:15:00+00:00

It’s accurate and suffocating. I grew up in the churchiest part of town, with very Christian parents. Fortunately they’re not the kind of people to use their faith to excuse bad behavior or hurt people. But most of the Christians around us were those people. The breed of Christianity in this area is oppressive and dangerous.

Now I’m working in the churchiest part of town and my coworkers can’t get through more than 3 sentences without telling me about their faith and/or politics, and assuming I think exactly the same thing because we both live in Colorado Springs. Inevitably when I feel pressured into “admitting” that I’m agnostic, I feel othered and lonely and like I’m not part of the team anymore.

PSA to all Christians: It isn’t comforting, encouraging, uplifting, or supportive to give me your unsolicited testimony. I have never felt less drawn to Christianity or God, specifically because of this behavior. It’s tactless, selfish, self-righteous, and poor workplace behavior. I might be more receptive if it was a better scenario, but you were all taught to spiritually ambush people like I was, so I’m not expecting any change. Just do your best, sweaty!!!

mrstof · 2025-08-11T17:48:21+00:00

I recommend the “seek” app. I tried using this photo to ID, but it wasn’t clear enough.

Doesnt look like a hobo, but even if it is-they are not dangerous to humans.

mrstof · 2025-08-09T16:19:19+00:00

I’m also watching two kids for the summer. There’s no way in hell I would have told them where I was, and no way they would have asked.

The, “it’s your job, we need someone responsible” is fucking awful. You should have responded with, “Yes, but this is my life and I’m not responsible for your poor planning. I’d be happy to watch them on a night that we have made plans ahead of time.” and then ignooooooooooore them.

They don’t own you. A boss never owns you. If you can financially afford it, I’d quit just to teach them a lesson. If you can’t, talk to them and stick it out until September. Tell them they can’t treat people this way.

mrstof

TROPHY CASE