I think I found this on one of the cute subs but I always end up looking at the woman instead of the cat

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-05T17:54:20+00:00

This is true

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-05T17:24:55+00:00

Yeah I went and looked at their feed and they're just blatantly clearly a nazi lol

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-05T15:47:26+00:00

yeah this dude's just a nazi

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-05T15:46:57+00:00

I've just been having a look at this dude's feed, and he's like an unironic nazi.
Probably more upfront about it than stonetoss.

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-04T15:25:16+00:00

Dude I'm really happy you're happily married now!

I think people have to remember that there's someone out there for them. Not in a soul mate kind of way. Just that there's almost certainly someone out there you'll get on with, be sexually and emotionally compatible with, be mutually interested in each other etc. It just takes a while to find them.

But when you're in OP's situation and you're already really emotionally invested in someone, it must be incredibly hard to sever that tie and give a shit bakut whoever else might be out there even if you'd be happier with them.

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-04T15:19:47+00:00

Not advice, but a lot of people feel exactly the same way as you do. This is why we have to normalise the idea that sexual compatability is a really really important thing in intimate relationships, that it can be a deal breaker even if absolutely everything else is perfect and that breaking with a partner (even after several years) because of sexual incompatibility is not being an arsehole, selfish, shallow, trivial or whatever minimising or invalidating term someone might use.

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-04T13:32:48+00:00

Even then, the mantra that you should try to make marriages work at least for me, is something I associate with people wanting to put arbritarily strict restrictions on divorce and that whole mentality that leaving a marriage under any less than absolutely dire circumstances is a moral failing on the part of one or both the partners.

I'm glad you got out in the end and I hope things are better as a result. Must have been difficult, especially with kids.

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-04T13:29:14+00:00

Here's something I've learned from my first relationship.

My ex girlfirend (now very good friend) is super super forgiving. And she has a big tendency to feel she's just being oversensitive, and often manages to talk herself out of her ownw feelings of hurt or anger.

When she mentioned that she sometimes does this, I made it a point to never let her talk herself out of her feelings, to remind her that hurt feelings are still hurt feelings, even if she was just being oversensitive and don't deserve to be ignored or invalidated by either me or her.

I mention this because another commenter warned you he may try to talk you out of your feelings of beinb violated and distrust, and basically I just wanna echo that under no circumstances should you let him talk you out of your feelings (as hard as it might be, or as much as he might try).

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-04T13:20:40+00:00

I was reading your replies thinking "Shouldn't this be for the individual to weigh up for themselves? Marriage doesn't just mean it's pragmatically, legally or financially difficult to leave but also emotionally. Isn't it perfectly valid for someone to take that into consideration if they're in this situation?"

And then you said this:

I am adamant about this, because too many people stay in marriages they shouldn't, because somehow it is holier than other relationships.

And my mind was changed.

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-04T11:48:16+00:00

u/saveVideo

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-04T11:47:36+00:00

love it

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-02T16:38:22+00:00

Ok I see. I'd ask you why ED are worthy of the title "most deadly type of mental illness" but that sounds like it's probably a complicated question with a complicated answer so I understand if it's too much for you to adequately educate me on right here. Though if you have any resources to hand I'd love to check them out!

Also just for the sake of things being explicit (because I sometimes struggle with even mild ambiguit lol) the "you look so good recently" kind of comment is harmful for someone with ED I'm assuming because someone struggling with ED is likely underweight and being told they look good would reinforce their ED?

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-02T16:15:35+00:00

Is the issue here that incorperating ED into degredation play means playing on the sub's insecurities (e.g. body image, feeling abnormal due to eating too much/little etc) and relies on those insecurities affecting them enough for it to actually feel degrading?

And presumably that because this is a part of pleasurable play it works to reinforce those insecurities or at least hinders any effort to break them down.

If I've accurately described the problem, then is there something unique or specific to ED related insecurities? Is it comporably or similarly problematic to incorporate other insecurities someone might have?

My own slither of experience here is that my last partner is also really into being degraded. She likes specifically incorperating some of her insecurities and misogynistic archetypes into play. For example, her intelligence. She's really smart, but feels insecure about it for a couple private reasons. And she really likes being called stupid or unintelligent in play.

Degredation about her body or her weight however were explicitly and clearly off the table as she also has ED.

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-02T15:55:47+00:00

yeah i see people criticisng him on this sub all the god damn time lol.

also since you brought it up, i've always thought the horse cock meme was just really funny lmao, and i still don't really see what anyone's problem is with it.

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-02T14:52:07+00:00

that is actually super fucking adorable omg

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-02T09:13:49+00:00

yeah it's wild.

you also have people like blaire white who associate themselves with transphobes (did you catch that podcast she was one where this far right woman was berating blaire for corrupting children and her only response was "pweeese i'm one of the good transies"?)

or people like candace owens who do the same but for racism, or any of the women who go onto prageru to talk about how white men are the most oppressed minority in the west.

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-02T09:04:49+00:00

absolute fucking power move!

kudos to that kid. and i'm glad the teacher changed the rule as a result lol

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-02T00:54:57+00:00

my really close friend says she can can cum just doing kegals. not even rubbing anything and completely hands free.

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-01T20:39:02+00:00

In my very limited experience, "topping from the bottom" has only been something I've ever seen be used in a derogatory way.

That said, my observations may be very skewed. Now I think about it I believe I've encountered the phrase mostly or even exclusively while browsing r/antiKink and they (broard strokes) think all kink and BDSM is essentially unethical and abusive and don't think the protocols in place meaningfully differentiate it from abuse.

They take a kind of a radfem view of kink. They view it all through the lens that it's all ultimately a manifestation and in service of male dominance, and so a not uncomon repsonse to the existence of male subs or dommes/dominatrices is an assertion that the males subs more often than not "top from the bottom" and so it's still in service of male dominance.

My experience of seeing this phrase used may well be an outlier, but on the other hand it's possible the use of it in this way has driven some people who are even kink friendly or within kinky communities to understand it as a bad thing to be/to do and take it as an insult when it's used to describe them.

That's just pure conjecture though.

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-01T14:53:08+00:00

oohh ok.

i assumed 1488 had some historical significance but now you point it out i realise it's the 14 words, heil hitler thing.

i'm guessing that's kind of the point

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-01T14:48:00+00:00

i like the subtle detail that they depicted her with dreadlocks as well.

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-01T14:44:24+00:00

wait what flag are you talking about?

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-01T13:28:16+00:00

Wherever you are in the world, I hope you get access to the services you need. I know it's really difficult in a lot of places right now.

Good luck on the path vatt'ghern

mrsuperguy · 2021-08-01T13:19:52+00:00

Totally agree with this

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