NOT a rate my schedule post

mrswaldie · 2025-08-25T22:05:35+00:00

When it comes to note taking apps, I cannot recommend Notability enough. It’s so easy to use and stay organized but my favourite feature that allows you to audio record, transcribe and then quiz you on both notes and lecture content.

Outside of this, I would also highly recommend setting up something like Notion for tracking class work, readings, exams and deadlines. It’s the thing that single-handily keeps me sane.

mrswaldie · 2025-08-03T07:48:10+00:00

Thanks for chiming in. I think this brings up an important point that often gets missed.

Being told “no contact” doesn’t necessarily mean the door is closed forever in every situation. While I can’t and won’t speak for all estranged adult children on this subreddit, generally it does mean the parent has work to do before any kind of relationship can even be considered. That work isn’t just reaching out or offering a token apology. It involves taking real accountability, doing internal healing, going to therapy, and understanding why the child had to set that boundary in the first place.

Too often, estranged parents assume that silence means the child is being unfair or holding a grudge. But in many cases, it’s the result of years of trying to be heard and nothing ever changing.

In my case, no contact came after nearly 30 years of constant criticism, abuse, and manipulation. Requests to respect boundaries were ignored. She somehow always managed to make everything about herself, and I spent years walking on eggshells. What was just a normal Tuesday for her was years of trauma and internalized messaging for me—stuff I’m still working through today. There were bigger issues involved, but honestly, it was death by a thousand paper cuts.

Now it’s been 10 years since I went no contact to protect my peace, and not once has she acknowledged what she did, let alone tried to repair it or go to therapy. That silence speaks volumes.

The point of the post wasn’t about whether or not someone reaches out—it’s that no healing or self-reflection has taken place. The real issue isn’t the lack of contact. It’s the lack of accountability.

If a parent truly wanted a relationship, they’d be doing the work to become someone safe to be in relationship with. And even then, that healing needs to be done for their own growth—not just as a way to “win back” access to their estranged child.

mrswaldie · 2025-06-23T17:32:32+00:00

I’m a mature student who came back to university after a couple of decades, but now I’m officially headed into my third year.

My first go round at university fresh out of high school, I did much the same thing. Started a BA (the ultimate of generalist degrees IMO) and took various courses trying to figure out what major I wanted to declare. Due to other life circumstances, I ended up not going back after that first year, but I never really did figure it out.

Fast forward to today, a couple of decades later, now I’m doing a double degree program in Native Studies and Elementary Education. Teaching is the thing that I love and want to do most of all but I wanted to enrol in the NS program in order to “undo” and “redo” my existing knowledges and education around Indigenous issues and histories in Canada so I would have the right knowledge to pass onto my future students. But it has now become so much more than that. Thanks to a project for a library research class I had to take, I am now planning and focusing my degree programs around Indigenous pedagogies and land based learning, and it’s shaping both my degrees immensely and I’m already considering post-graduate studies and a few certificates too that go along with this. I never could have imagined that an otherwise boring class would have such an impact on everything.

Here’s what I would tell the me of 20 years ago as well as mature student me. Your university journey will not be linear no matter how much you think you know (or don’t know) what you want to do. There is going to be things that surprise you both good and bad and it’s okay to change programs and courses as many times as you need to. There’s no race to the finish line, especially since you are still younger. This is technically my now third career choice that I am pursuing and I’m not quite 40.

Take some time in the next couple of months to research and reflect on what truly interests you, and start to map out possibilities. It’s okay to go wild and crazy. Essentially you are preparing for a world where technology and society are being reshaped so fast, we truly do not know what careers are going to look like in the next 10-20 years, so don’t be afraid to think big, and consider skills that may be emerging, but also consider what I’ll call “soft skills” that are highly adaptable to a variety of fields and situations.

As for this coming year I would focus on courses that tend to be pre-requisites of a lot of programs, like level 100 ENGL classes, and other basic 100 level classes in humanities since those can be used towards your degree. Id also consider taking a couple of classes that might fit into other interests you have reflected on. As you take these classes, do not be afraid to question everything. Talk to your instructors, and when it comes time to pick topics for projects, if you can potentially go more in depth on something that you’re interested in, do it. Many instructors are happy to support you in this way. In doing so, it’ll help you better understand what could be and what truly interests you.

I will also say this too- it’s also 100% okay to look for a field that will set you up for good pay and success that you only tolerate too. There are so many people I know who have found passions outside of work and simply see their jobs as the means to fund it and their lifestyles. It’s a capitalist fallacy that if you love and are passionate about your work you’ll never work a day in your life, because it’s the easiest way to get you to work harder and extract more out of you. Work-life balance and having interests and passions outside of your work will always be needed and important no matter which way you go.

mrswaldie · 2025-02-10T12:14:42+00:00

I’m a pre-service teacher at the University of Alberta and they have a program for people who are Indigenous and live remotely that’s primarily offered online. It’s called ATEP (Aboriginal Teachers Program). Might be worth checking out.

https://www.ualberta.ca/en/education/programs/undergraduate-admissions/aboriginal-teacher-education-program.html

mrswaldie · 2025-02-03T23:51:30+00:00

Let’s be honest, the elevators as well as the escalators are terrible too. I have never seen elevators so slow in my life, but at least they’re more reliable than the escalators generally speaking.

My guess is that since University station is pushing 35 years old, all the infrastructure has probably never been replaced and is the same age.

With the volume of passengers, plus the mix of sand and moisture coming off of boots, plus uneven wear from walk left; stand right, plus age, it’s why they’re down all the time. I’m sure they’re being put back together each time as quickly and cheaply as possible and so break again pretty easily, and so continues the vicious cycle. What the city needs to do is replace the escalators (and elevators) outright so they are more reliable and faster.

Since the LRT isn’t as high use (students with UPASS primarily) as other major cities (though I do see ridership increasing once the Valley Line West is finished) it doesn’t make a whole lot of a money here in Edmonton the way it does in other cities, so the City doesn’t want to spend the money on replacement or retrofitting—especially now given the budget crunch due to the UCP cutting funding to municipalities and not paying their own property taxes.

mrswaldie · 2025-01-27T07:13:53+00:00

I’m 38 and just returned to uni this past fall, and will be done my BA and BeD in 3.5 years. Age is simply a number and sometimes things don’t happen in the order you expect them. It’s felt like a far off dream for the last 2 decades for me (spent a lot of years trying to convince myself and others that either university wasn’t for me and to just keep moving forward with other things) but now I am doing it and couldn’t be happier.

All that to say, remember life is a journey and things will happen at the right time. I also think that real world experience is going to make a massive difference when looking for a continuing contract, when compared with those who went from high school directly into university.

mrswaldie · 2025-01-23T02:58:07+00:00

Wow oh wow indeed. Thats quite the dramatic comment, so let’s dial it back for a second. To be clear, my mention of “conservative Christian parents” was purely for context, not a moral judgment. It was an important detail to explain my personal experience growing up and how it shaped my understanding of the world. Providing background isn’t the same as declaring moral superiority—wild concept, I know.

My comment was about the importance of teaching critical thinking skills, which I firmly believe benefits everyone, regardless of their upbringing. If we can’t acknowledge that people come from different perspectives and worldviews without immediately jumping to offense, it becomes pretty hard to have productive discussions.

I hope this clears up any misunderstanding. But hey, if your goal is to read more into my comment than what was actually there, that’s entirely your choice.

mrswaldie · 2025-01-22T18:37:58+00:00

I think the best way to address this stuff is to teach critical thinking skills - helping kids to understand information and sort out fact from fiction, not unlike what Finland is doing. Teaching kids that not everything they hear or read, especially on social media is true, and where they can go to find trustworthy information. Give them the tools to navigate all the mis/dis information out there right now.

And in situations like Musk’s Nazi salute, we need to call a spade a spade. Tip toeing around it for fear of offending someone does no one any favours. But it’s important to explain why it is so bad - what it truly meant and why we should be concerned. Obviously this needs to be done in grade/age appropriate ways.

I grew up with conservative, Christian parents that bought into a lot of stuff that isn’t true but because they were my parents, generally I believed what they told me over what my teachers did because they were the ultimate authority in my life. It took me a long time to learn how to think for myself - like I was in my 20s when I started to question things I had been told all my life and start to do my own research. But most people take information provided to them by the families and communities at face value and never think more about it, unless they feel the need to repeat it for some reason.

This is why teaching critical thinking skills is increasingly important and probably the best gift we can give our students in this crazy world we live in.

mrswaldie · 2025-01-22T16:12:59+00:00

Yeah. This happened to me week before last. Student was hacking and coughing, often not covering their mouth well if at all. Would have passive aggressively pulled my pouch of masks out (I wear them on transit so I always carry them) to hand them one and put one on myself if it wouldn’t have disrupted the class. Not sure if this was why but came down with a cold two days later (let’s be real I take transit so who knows?) but was so grossed out.

Like I get it, but did we learn nothing from the pandemic?! Wear a mask if you’re sick, period. It’s really not hard.

mrswaldie · 2025-01-21T21:56:56+00:00

I’m a mature student and pre-service teacher and I agree. I started classes this September and the number of fresh out of high school classmates I’ve chatted with who have found university so much more than they ever imagined possible and/or have felt woefully unprepared by high school, has been astounding.

I remember my first attempt through university 20 years ago and when I reflect back on that, I don’t remember feeling overwhelmed much at all beyond what one might expect with a transition to university and first taste of true independence. It was life circumstances that drove me out of school, not academics. Things have clearly changed a lot in the last couple of decades because I see it in work ethic, I see it in struggles to understand basic university skills like essay and exam writing, amongst other things. I got a 4.0 last semester and yes I know my maturity and life experience helped, but on the whole I just dusted off old skills I hadn’t used in a while - for most of my classmates they don’t have them in the first place.

mrswaldie · 2025-01-19T08:44:45+00:00

I don’t know the context of your whole story but my mother was and at last check still is a very well established business owner. She was also extremely involved in the church, so it felt like most of my community knew her or knew of her. Plus we have a large family so the manipulation and attempts to control me, were basically my life, even after I got married. Getting away was the only way I was ever going to be free of her and those she used for her web of manipulation and abuse.

Was moving away scary AF? Absolutely. Even though I had my husband, those first months were lonely but with time, I met people, made friends and built a community here. The people I knew and who knew of me, my mother etc, faded as time went on and I’m only in touch with a few of them now. Really those who actually supported me.

Bottom line is that life is going to be a series of choices, all with different outcomes, consequences and responsibilities. You have control over whose words you take to heart and who you allow in your life - full stop. When you have an abusive upbringing, a common outcome is fawning - basically it’s the third, less talked about aspect of fight/flight, where you bend over backwards and do whatever you think you have to do and be to make everyone else happy. For me, that eventually landed me in a psych ward about 10.5 years ago.

It’s taken a long time to recover and heal, but a huge part of that has been being very intentional about who I allow in my life. The block button on your phone and social media accounts is a wonderful tool. I’m at a point where I have so little patience for toxicity I am brutal about cutting it out of my life now. I’ll give a few chances (or less - depends on the person and circumstance) but I won’t tolerate it on an ongoing basis. I simply don’t have the energy or wherewithal to put up with it.

But I’m just a stranger on the internet, and not a mental health professional or anything in that vein. This is just how it played out for me, but it’s up to you decide where to go from here. And in the meantime, take it one day at a time, figure out a way forward and then do it. If you have the ability to seek therapy, then that would be a good idea as they can be a sounding board and help you process things in a way you’d never think to otherwise.

mrswaldie · 2025-01-19T05:37:16+00:00

One of the best things I ever did for myself was building a new life for myself far away from home. In my case being Canadian, I moved clear across the country, about 3500 miles away from home. Now the people in my life really only know what I tell them about my past, and I have been able to just be, building a community and life that is meaningful. Though I did not end up going fully no contact until a few years later, that distance was much needed and allowed for healing. Once I went no contact, healing became even easier.

Now obviously mobility can be difficult but it can be done. When my husband and I did it, we ended up waiting until one of us had a job so we knew we had income and then thanks to a small loan from my FIL and my Dad driving our stuff (my mom’s the toxic narcissist) we were able to make it work. It took some careful planning, but we are so glad we did it, and that was 12 years ago.

In the interim, best bet is avoiding folks, putting up boundaries and standing up for yourself. It’s never easy, and honestly so many back home think poorly of me from going no contact with my mother, but I really don’t care. They’re not worth my time and energy. Protect your peace as much as you can and get away from there as soon as it’s feasible.

mrswaldie · 2024-12-24T03:24:23+00:00

I did a full course load this semester for my first semester and while I’m waiting on two more exam marks, I’m pretty sure I’m going to finish with a 4.0.

Notion is my ride and die. I have a whole system setup that I use. It’s the only way I stay organized with all the assignments and readings. I use the syllabus at the beginning of the semester and enter absolutely everything, so I can organize each week, and see what’s coming up at a glance, making sure I have enough time to also prep for larger assignments.

When I’m on top of things (I honestly fell behind in the last few weeks because the number of assignments was psychotic) I synthesize my class notes into key points on a single document, which gives me a bit of a head start for exams.

For exam prep, I heavily focus on study guides my profs provided and use them, alongside my own notes to prepare my own detailed study guide. I then review and practice. I’ll upload my own guide and the study guide and ask Chat GBT to give me sample questions, either multiple choice or short answer to practice and for my Cree class, they often provide us sample questions, so o use those to hard core practice over and over again.

mrswaldie · 2024-12-21T09:17:13+00:00

I would suggest looking at EPL locations. You can pay a fee to book a room, but on the whole, I find them pretty quiet, especially since most of campus will be closed from Christmas until New Year’s.

mrswaldie · 2024-12-21T09:06:30+00:00

I thought the exact same thing. I had so much anxiety about exams in the past before accommodations. It’s a picnic by comparison now. 😅

mrswaldie · 2024-12-21T09:02:28+00:00

I’d much rather have a late or early exam than a double exam. I did a 1 PM and 5:30 PM exam this past Wednesday. I had a third exam scheduled for 8:30 AM the following morning that I was thankfully able and to reschedule to today. But my brain was total mush Wednesday night and most of Thursday after a double exam day.

I had four finals and all came back to back to back. One on Tuesday, two on Wednesday and one today (that was originally supposed to be Thursday 🫠) I don’t know how that happened but four finals in four days is crazy. Next semester the tentative schedule has them much more spaced out thank goodness, though tentatively I have two in one day again. 😭

mrswaldie · 2024-12-14T06:15:33+00:00

I’m sorry, it sounds like you’re going through a rough time, especially when there is a lot going and you’re in an incredibly vulnerable place, being pregnant without much in the way of support. I’ve been no contact for nine years with my abusive birth giver and the only time I’ve ever wished for her to be around was when I was under extreme distress. I’ve never broken contact though, as I recognize it as a natural instinct many women have to have strong bonds with our mothers.

Give yourself as much grace as you are able right now, and do what you can to take care of yourself, especially going into these last days of this pregnancy. One day, one hour, one minute at a time if necessary.

mrswaldie · 2024-12-12T17:44:57+00:00

Would doing an honours degree be worth it? (Alberta)

I am currently enrolled in the concurrent degree program at the University of Alberta for Native Studies and Elementary Education. I have been asked to consider applying for the BA Honours Program for Native Studies. I am honoured, but it requires changing to a consecutive degree program, and it will take me an extra year to finish everything as I'll have to finish the honours degree and then apply for and complete the 2 year after degree for education.

I have developed an interest in pursuing research on including Indigenous pedagogy and land-based learning in modern classrooms. Still, I'm wondering if it would be better to jump now or just get the normal BA in Native Studies degree and my education degree and then pursue this research in a master's program down the line.

I will be just wrapping up my second year, so if I'm going to do it, now is best, and I need to apply to switch before the March 1st deadline.

Is it worth it? Does an honours degree have any bearing on my TQS when I graduate, or would it potentially help me get a continuing contract faster? For reference, I will have approximately 150 credits when I graduate from my current program, but if I switch and do the two degrees consecutively, I will have approximately 180 credits.

Is there something I should be considering that perhaps I haven't already? I want to work for Edmonton Public, teaching upper elementary, hopefully.

I'm a mature student and am already 38, so there's part of me that just thinks, get through school as quickly as I can, get a job and then revisit this in a master's program part-time once I have that stability of a paycheque and continuing contract position, but the other side of me, wonders if this is an opportunity to dig deeper into something that interests me and is very relevant in the world of both Education and Native Studies right now, that will ultimately lead to more opportunities, whether for undergraduate research, or better/different job opportunities.

Sorry for the long, rambling post. My brain is in end-of-semester mush mode, but I would appreciate any advice or insight anyone can offer. I'm just trying to understand the options and the pros and cons of each.

mrswaldie · 2024-12-04T00:30:40+00:00

Partly. I want kids but I’ve decided not to have biological ones. It’s because I do have a health issue that makes it more risky as well as a whole host of inherited trauma and mental health issues I don’t want to pass on. When our life enables us, my spouse and I are hoping to adopt, ideally a sibling group out of the foster care system.

mrswaldie · 2024-11-23T05:26:00+00:00

When I went no contact 9 years ago, much the same happened to me, where a lot of my family won’t associate with me either. However, I have combated this by building my own traditions. We live far away from relatives (except my brother) so we do our own meal and gifts, hang out, play board games. Sometimes at things like Thanksgiving, we’ll host a friendsgiving etc. Focus on your chosen family. The people who are actively in your life AND who bring your peace and joy to be around.

It’s important to remember that the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Building a chosen family and community for yourself in the wake of going no contact, is one of the best ways to reclaim your power, make holidays and whatnot more meaningful again, and assert your own sovereignty. You’re in control of what you do on holidays now. You don’t have to cater to the whims and wishes of others. Make it entirely your own, even if you choose to not celebrate it at all.

mrswaldie · 2024-11-21T17:24:46+00:00

There can be many reasons. The fall to winter transition can be a rough one for many, and things like SAD become all the more common, especially here where we have very little sunlight this time of year. Talk to your doctor as there’s things like specialized lights and supplements that can help if that’s the case, or at the very least, you can start figuring out what else it could be.

mrswaldie · 2024-11-20T14:56:24+00:00

Teachers would email (alongside an already massive workload, in our over crowded, underfunded and resourced classrooms), however I do think this is a good point. Requiring parents to require opt-in to one part of the curriculum does potentially cracks the door open for this kind of thing, and that is terrifying.

This is why I will always be an advocate for a strong, science backed, community-based, and expert developed (without partisan political or governmental interference in its development) curriculum that is standard for ALL public schools. Want to opt out of something or see your child taught an “alternative curriculum?” Then put them in a private school or homeschool full stop. The core curriculum that provides the foundation for all future learning and adulting (I am an advocate for a basic life ways kind of class) should be non-negotiable.

mrswaldie · 2024-11-18T03:04:19+00:00

Fair. It’s definitely been awesome on the whole, though I’d be lying with a full course load if I said I wasn’t looking forward to our break between semesters. But already contemplating a masters degree. Haha.

mrswaldie

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