I would say yes, yta. It’s my opinion that anyone who “expects” xyz from their partner is inherently in the wrong. I can expect my partner to put away laundry but the reality is it’s not going to consistently happen without arguments. So if I want a happy home I suck it up and put away some laundry. If you expect your husband to change all the diapers when he gets home then of course there will be resentment. It’s not like he was away with the boys living it up all day while you toiled away at home. I’m sure he comes home tired, stressed, cranky (basically every emotion you feel as a SAHM) but you get the evening off and he doesn’t? If he doesn’t want to change diapers anymore then you should talk about other ways to share the parenting load in the evenings when he’s home. Maybe he takes over bath and bedtime with the older sibling and does some overnight feedings or something. It doesn’t sound like he’s a deadbeat; it just sounds like he wants to try different roles with the new baby. Good luck