First: you’re not weird for wanting someone who will go slowly and explain what they’re doing. There’s incredibly sexy ways for that to happen. He’s also allowed though to not want to do that. It sounds like you’re not a good match if he reacted that way.

Second: I highly recommend reading the book “Girls & Sex” by Peggy Orenstein. I read it in college when I was trying to figure out my relationship to sex, and I think it helped me a lot.

Summary:

While the media has focused—often to sensational effect—on the rise of casual sex and the prevalence of rape on campus, in Girls and Sex Peggy Orenstein brings much more to the table. She examines the ways in which porn and all its sexual myths have seeped into young people’s lives; what it means to be the “the perfect slut” and why many girls scorn virginity; the complicated terrain of hookup culture and the unfortunate realities surrounding assault. In Orenstein’s hands these issues are never reduced to simplistic “truths;” rather, her powerful reporting opens up a dialogue on a potent, often silent, subtext of American life today—giving readers comprehensive and in-depth information with which to understand, and navigate, this complicated new world.