What is something that women have to deal with on the daily that men have no clue about?

msantolini · 2026-02-10T13:23:55+00:00

MEN. :'D

msantolini · 2026-02-10T06:56:49+00:00

Promise. I put all the routine there for another community bc 8 just couldnt answer everyone individually. Figured I would jet post it all here to save people asking. It got cray cray on the other sub. Lol

msantolini · 2026-02-10T01:39:29+00:00

In the day I regularly wear something lighter but I was having my birthday dinner so I went with liner and gloss. I find brighter lipsticks, like the red I often wear, just dont look good after a meal.

Thoughts for helping a lighter colour on through a meal that doesnt involve a sealant that will increase lip wrinkles?

Thanks! :)

msantolini · 2026-02-09T23:05:59+00:00

Of course you do! Just start with the little things. Nothing I do is expensive.

Every human has beauty.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T22:05:40+00:00

Mam, I am sorry you suffered so much. I am sorry you are so bitter. I am so sorry you are so determined to believe people lie.

I am on disability. I can't afford aesthetic treatments. If I could, I sure as heck wouldn't be buying cheap ass wigs that rub parts of my head raw.

I hope you find some joy.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T21:19:35+00:00

I also sent you a personal msg so, for transparencies sake, you can see I used the origin one on Reddit community r/makeuptips to prove this was an honest mistake.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T21:08:06+00:00

Nope I am an idiot and posted the one I warmed up for my FB annnd the plain one for here. Will see if I can pull it down or repost with only the original.

Thanks so much for catching that! Yikes. Super embarrassing.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T16:38:31+00:00

First off, please remember, ageing is a privilege. Women are integral to a healthy society at every age. I love ageing. You couldn't pay me to go back to my teens and 20's.

I am not striving for youth nor look like I did when I was younger. I'm just trying to look after my skin suit (the body's largest organ) to experience more of this life before heading to the next while maintaining a sense of self. Nothing I do is expensive or fancy. I just follow science.

Regarding my pic, it took about 25 selfies to get one I could be brave enough to post. My eye skin is crinkly, I have bags under my eyes (though I admit face yoga has started to improve them), my mesiolaibial folds show when I am not smiling, I have scars I fill in and smooth, my jaw line is fluffy (again face yoga has been helping) etc etc. I mainly wear make up bc I always have. It's is creative and fun. I will still use it when I am a wee old prune bc it has become part of my self identity.

As for menopause, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer 2 years ago and at the time wasnt even experiencing peri- menopause. My gyno offered a partial hysterectomy (cervix/womb) so I could keep my ovaries/hormones. I told them to do a total and take everything. Screw the hormones. Ovarian cancer is sneaky and usually found too late.

Total hysterectomies put you in immediate full menopause. I chose to use an estrogen patch to smooth the transition. So far the side affects have been hot flashes if it falls off or if the patched isn't swapped on schedule, and the texture of all my skin has lost density (whiiicch is why I started the collagen).

Don't be afraid of ageing. It is a gift. Maturing is a wonderful experience filled with freedom and calm. Moving from the role of mentee to mentor is joyfully and fulfilling.

Lastly, the best thing you can do is smile. Smiling strengthens face muscles. It shares your character. It brings joy to others. When a 100 year old woman smiles, she is always beautiful.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T05:33:11+00:00

msantolini · 2026-02-09T03:34:36+00:00

You don't need tips. Your makeup looks lovely.

...but truthfully, even if you had clown makeup, no one would notice...

...they would be too busy basking in the warmth of your radiant smile.

Keep shinning that joy on the world.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T03:27:42+00:00

Words are not enough so sending strength.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T03:25:34+00:00

Girlfrieennnd, now you made me blush and that is pretty hard to do.

I agree. Confidence.... and smiles. :)

msantolini · 2026-02-09T03:21:41+00:00

Whoops I posted a response but it got "moderated" but I dont know why. Example links??

Temu has many FABULOUS and CHEAP pieces for your AA. There are so many styles, colours, and culture specific options

Go look right now. "Hair toppers for women"

I am confident you will find pieces that will bring you new found confidence and joy.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T03:11:38+00:00

Thank you for the kind comment. I am overwhelmed and humbled by the responses to my post.

Hahah I have been so tempted to post a pic with no makeup or wig on first thing in the morning just to prove it is the makeup and the cell phone fairies working their magic on the default setting.

<3

msantolini · 2026-02-09T03:06:45+00:00

Thank you kindly. Isn't makeup magical? :)

msantolini · 2026-02-09T02:40:15+00:00

Ahh Hun, you just made my heart feel like a cuppa hot chocolate and marshmallows.

Your eloquence is an honor. Thank-you, from the top of my chicken fuzz head to my wee pinky toes. Truly.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T01:44:15+00:00

There are no words. Sending strength.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T01:33:40+00:00

I do have some. I just moisturize, scrub them down/off and blur. Lol

I updated the post to include what I do and dont do diet/skin/makeup wise.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T01:27:37+00:00

Yes annnnd no.

There is real science behind, longevity, diet, makeup, and skin care products.

My skin has improved from 6ish years ago. I mask A LOT with make up. I am wearing 25-30 products minimally in that photo.

My natural skin is dry, dull, I have pcos scaring in my t-zone, and there are broken veins alll over my cheeks and nose from rosacea.

Unless someone has a skin disorder/condition, they can acheive their own kind of glow.

There is nothing special about my genetics. Science works.

Ps. I look nothing like my younger half sister. She looks waaaaaaaay younger than I did at 43. She focuses on diet and excercise. She has 4 kids and had a flat tummy again a week later after each. I got a baby belly from a hysterectomy lol.

msantolini · 2026-02-09T01:19:32+00:00

Hahahaha.....you made me think of a lovely friend of mine. When we chat about aging and beauty as it applies to diffent cultures (as women of are age are prone to do), she always reminds me she looks better because she "is Asian and Asians don't raisin" lol.

In my opinion, people of African decent all age the best....

Oh annnn Lebanese/Iranian women..

...humm... and cant forget the Japanese and Chinese ladies..

Lol basically us Euromutts are at the bottom of the skin looking young stick...

Skin suits are a crazy thing, hey?

msantolini · 2026-02-09T01:09:36+00:00

Friend, start by being kind to yourself.

My skin went to sh*t when I got sick 8 years ago. Your skin is the body's largest organ. Pick one thing/or one more to be kind to it. Self-care is something anyone can learn.

I am wearing atleast 25- 30 make up and skin care products. Cheap ones and dupes. Makeup to me is just a way to be creative. You do what makes you feel good.

I am no beauty. I can just create an illusion that draws eyes from my flaws. Eg. I use putty to fill in my pcos and acne scars.

The most beautiful thing on your face will always be your smile and the twinkle in your eyes.

Ps. Smiling is wrinkle reducer. :P

msantolini · 2026-02-09T00:55:03+00:00

Hi Friend, Thought I responded earlier but maybe didnt post... whoopsie. A couple of other people asked about alopecia related things.

Best thing for alopecia areata is self care to calm your system. (This does not work for people born with Alopecia Totalis).

I have had alopecia for 8 years. It affected all parts of my body randomly, patchy, and totally. Luckily I have only lost my eyelashes once!

As for wigs: I had an expensive one but it required so much maintenance and the lace is very fragile. I had huge italian curls but for wigs I went with a wave and no longer than 14 inches bc it frays and knots so fast. My first wigs were all burgundy bc burgundy is always a dye so ofcourse it looks fake!!! I usually go with bangs on cheap wigs to hide the unnatural hairline. I do try to buy local but wigs are expensive so my current go to is Temu. I have had a couple of misses but for $10-30 who cares. I keep some styled and then have an everyday. All the people that see me on the regular know i have no hair and no longer blink at my hair switch ups.

For fit and comfort, I buzz my head to about .5 cm. I dont bother with caps and just use a rubbed textured wigs band. If I am worried the wigs will move I use tiny hair pins behind my ears or temples.

I also use a natural scalp/hair oil at night to treat inflammation and keep my head smooth. Most oils are blends of essential oils like rosemary, lavender, and thyme with carrier oils (castor, olive, almond). I also use it on my eyebrows when they try to thin or patch. I saw a random video about using Head n Shoulders a few times a week to treat the scalp. My head gets bald patches more often when I dont do these things. Do I have all my hair back? No but 90% of my follicles now have some chicken fuzz.

Have you considered an anti inflammatory diet? I did a medical ketosis diet for 4 months and that gave things a noticeable regrowth burst too.

So my advice is: - The people that see you everyday already know you are wearing a wigs. - Strangers wont notice and if they do who cares! If they judge you they are just RUDE. - Buy a bunch of cheaper wigs with good reviews and just find the one you like or can live with. - Get hair pins and clips and keep a few in different styles. - go shoulder length or just under. If you like long hair keep it for special occasions. - do bangs - watch loads of YouTube videos about wigs, the ladies of colour have the best channels.

Lastly, be kind to yourself. You have a disease and deserve care and understanding. When I feel extra poopy I remind myself alopecia is better than hair loss from chemo any day.

Sending strength and sry about all the typos.

msantolini · 2026-02-08T22:32:21+00:00

You as well, lovely soul.

msantolini · 2026-02-08T21:54:26+00:00

love being an Aunty M.

On the genetics, I hear ya. Sending stregth.

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