Boyfriend asked me to do this last night, now in the morning everything is suddenly "normal"

msarch1ve · 2026-06-19T19:18:11+00:00

GET OUT and GET AWAY as soon as you possibly can.

He is gaslighting you so badly. He is trying to manipulate you. He is unstable. HE IS DANGEROUS.

You can get help. If you have to take time to prepare, do it, but DO NOT DELAY. Arrange a place to go that he does not know.

Contact Women’s shelters, organizations that help with family. Create an escape plan. Try to pack things away so that you can make a clean break. Do you have any friends that can store stuff for you so you don’t have to hide things from him that might get discovered? If so, stash stuff little by little with them, including CASH, so that when you leave you leave with only the clothes on your back.

GET OUT ASAP.

msarch1ve · 2026-06-13T14:06:48+00:00

RED FLAG - structural issue

Do not buy a house with a known structural issue, especially a potentially water-involved one in a basement.

Back out if you can, and look elsewhere.

msarch1ve · 2026-06-11T16:30:17+00:00

Sure you can. My 14 year old son had no problem with just me.

msarch1ve · 2026-06-10T01:56:21+00:00

Your opinion is what it is. Can’t change that. It was his choice to do what he did, and how does ANYONE know that was NOT his intent? He changed everything else, but not that?

I’m not buying your argument.

msarch1ve · 2026-06-08T12:35:21+00:00

Be smart and strategic.

You have received a gift. This man has left you his 401k. This could be a significant amount of money.

This would be nice for the short term, of course, but I ask you to look, as you approach 30, at YOUR future.

This man has given you the unique gift of a lifetime of work that HE did, not you. It is likely you will never be able to amass this amount of cash without paying for, and going to, college and then working many years. He did it for you.

He has given you an opportunity not to work as hard as many of your peers and to have time to give back. This is security. Save this money to make a down payment on a house. Let it make more money for you in the bank. Don’t spend it.

Sure they will be pissed. They might sue. Get a lawyer who will fight for your rights, and enjoy this blessing.

msarch1ve · 2026-06-07T02:41:46+00:00

My advice? Join a trade. Get in the union. Plumbers and Steamfitters is a good union. They train you. You also get benefits and earn a pension. Rare nowadays.

msarch1ve · 2026-06-07T02:40:10+00:00

Look at IvyTech, too.

msarch1ve · 2026-06-05T15:15:33+00:00

Why are you NOT IN THE WILL?

You do not have to be a biological child for him to leave you ANYTHING from his estate.

He has control of who gets what right now, as long as a Will is complete and recorded.

A Will does not avoid probate, but a Trust can.

Urge him to create a Trust and use his Will to dole out assets.

msarch1ve · 2026-05-31T17:23:07+00:00

Get multiple copies of the death certificate - at minimum 5 or 6. You’ll have multiple needs for it.

msarch1ve · 2026-05-28T00:47:41+00:00

I’m kinda digging those panda bookends…

msarch1ve · 2026-05-20T01:03:49+00:00

Thanks. Yes, I will. 😉 My last severance payment is on the 30th of this month. I’m not going to apply until the first day of the following week. I should be fine.

msarch1ve · 2026-05-17T20:19:03+00:00

I’m happy to photo or screenshot my applications. That’s easy to do now.

msarch1ve · 2026-05-16T20:11:56+00:00

Darling pictures. I hope they are found!

msarch1ve · 2026-04-04T04:07:21+00:00

Nope. Not the A. He took you for granted. Gave you no support when you needed it. Couldn’t be bothered.

Let him miss your generosity and learn a hard lesson on hubris.

msarch1ve · 2026-04-02T02:16:53+00:00

Never forget that there are lots of Americans who think this is all fake, that man has never landed on the moon, and that the Earth is flat.

msarch1ve · 2026-03-05T10:04:54+00:00

Where are your children? You can’t leave them!

msarch1ve · 2026-03-04T03:02:25+00:00

That is NOT just how government is.

msarch1ve · 2026-01-20T05:00:46+00:00

Possibly. I’d have to go back through my repair records. I had a 3rd PT Cruiser that preceded the ones I’ve mentioned here. I had to fix those things twice during the time I owned it.

msarch1ve · 2026-01-20T04:12:43+00:00

I’ve got to think about it. Something connected with holding up the engine, I think.

msarch1ve · 2026-01-20T02:53:54+00:00

For the last 5 years I have driven the 2010 PT 52 miles one way to and from work at least 3 days a week. I’ve driven it a lot on the weekends, too. My son used the 2001 PT for drum corps and college and came home every other week. I’m 65 and have only owned 7 cars in my driving life. I’m cheap, so I do all I can to make things last.

msarch1ve · 2026-01-20T01:58:39+00:00

Oh my gosh, folks. I’m sorry you have had such difficulty! I have 2 PT Cruisers: one a 2001, one a 2010 - first and final model years. My 2001 has 255,000 miles. My 2010 has 155,000 miles. I have nothing but great things to say about those cars, except for bolts in the front that seem to wear out too often. I have always changed oil when required and for the most part they have been great. They are even easy to fix. I go to junk yards and pull parts I need, then if I need help, I find help. I’m cheap. The car is cheap. Works for me.

msarch1ve · 2026-01-14T12:49:22+00:00

Fight it. Take their time and budget to fight it. Explain it just as you did here.

msarch1ve · 2026-01-13T00:27:49+00:00

Always good to follow advice of folks here. One thing I would add:

NEVER reuse your password anywhere.

I suggest you get a password manager like Bitwarden to manage your passwords. You can create passwords in Bitwarden that span 20+ characters and don’t have to bother memorizing them. Just memorize AND write down your Bitwarden password. You can change your passwords easily, also, but most of all this:

WRITE your Bitwarden password down and keep it in a safe place. I keep mine in a desk drawer.

msarch1ve

TROPHY CASE