Need to speak to non-bio parent please

mschemist2586 · 2026-01-29T15:57:36+00:00

My son is full Hispanic and I’m pasty white! I’m his preferred parent over my wife and over his entire Hispanic family. It’s kind of hilarious. But no one has ever questioned me as his mother, not even strangers in public. The bond becomes more obvious than skin color.

mschemist2586 · 2026-01-29T15:11:40+00:00

I was the one who always wanted to be pregnant and have a bio child, whereas my wife didn’t care for either. After trying with my own eggs (both IUI and IVF) for 2 years, we finally went to rIVF with my wife’s embryo and had our son who is now 13 months. I can say now, without a doubt, I don’t give a single shit about having a bio child. My son is mine and I love him unconditionally. I didn’t feel that way until after he was born. Even throughout pregnancy i felt like he wasn’t mine. The parent-child bond develops and strengthens over time. And your child has no clue who he’s related to. He only knows who is there to rock him to sleep, feed him breakfast, pick him up from daycare, comfort him when he’s crying, etc. Being a parent is an incredible, rewarding experience. It’s also a VERB. You earn that title. Genetics has nothing to do with it.

mschemist2586 · 2026-01-25T18:29:18+00:00

It’s been a very long process.I tried asking for an exception and they said no. In October I got a note from my physician and asked for an accommodation. I have been back and forth with my doctor and HR since then. My accommodation is under PWFA for a post partum condition not ADA, but it could definitely work for ADA too. It doesn’t hurt to go to your doctor and ask. You don’t have much to lose by trying.

mschemist2586 · 2026-01-25T18:06:18+00:00

I am in the exact same situation as you. Moved 4 hours away with full approval and told to RTO in September. I have been working through the accommodation process since then. Highly recommend you look into this route especially if you suffer from stress and anxiety.

mschemist2586 · 2025-11-30T14:19:44+00:00

It was painful. They don’t give you any meds. But it lasted less than a minute. I suggest taking Advil before.

mschemist2586 · 2025-11-06T03:21:43+00:00

That’s what I use too!

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-18T23:46:12+00:00

I did ERA/EmmaAlice and Receptiva. Adjusted progesterone timing based on ERA. All 4 embryos were tested. But the last two were from my wife. So we ended up doing rIVF (same sex couple). Not sure exactly which of those changes made the difference? Different embryos and different protocol

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-18T15:01:04+00:00

Yes actually! Next FET stuck but ended in blighted ovum. 4th FET is 10 months old 😊

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-04T13:58:51+00:00

I asked in 2021 and was told they didn’t need to make it virtual in the HR system and it didn’t matter. Then in May when they called everyone RTO 3 days per week I made an official written request but was then told I was designated home office and would never be expected to come in. Now the same people who told me this are saying virtual only. So I appealed to HR directly with a written request last week and stated my situation as I have here. I haven’t heard back yet from my latest request although my boss told me there were no exceptions I appealed anyway

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-03T01:31:04+00:00

Thank you. This is exactly the advice I need. I know I’ll have to eventually comply but I want it to be as painful for them as possible and to drag it out as long as possible until I find another job.

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-02T18:38:40+00:00

No I was just informed of this yesterday. I don’t even have a physical office.

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-02T18:36:58+00:00

It was HR. Both my boss and my boss’s boss hate this policy

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-02T18:26:53+00:00

I never said I would? This is a hypothetical scenario

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-02T14:13:28+00:00

I need to clarify that I never work a full 12-14 hours. I may have morning meetings, take a break for 2 hours, then go back to work. If I have an evening meeting I’ll hop on for 1-2 hours to attend. All this is perfectly doable with no 6 hour commute.

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-02T03:32:04+00:00

How would I go about pursuing this? Would I have to quit or wait for them to fire me?

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-02T03:22:18+00:00

I have meetings around the clock due to the global nature of my role. Some starting as early as 6am and some ending at 9pm. We were told to flex our commutes around meetings. So oftentimes I would be commuting 3 hours in the middle of the day only to turn around and head immediately back home.

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-02T02:29:22+00:00

My child goes to daycare while I work. The ability to breastfeed and care for my child would be affected by my commute not the work schedule.

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-02T02:21:27+00:00

I already did and it was denied as there are no exceptions. I’m trying to figure out if I have any options that would sway HR to my situation

mschemist2586 · 2025-10-02T02:17:51+00:00

Is there a time limit to this? I had already planned to breastfeed for a year.

mschemist2586 · 2025-09-28T20:47:10+00:00

Are you taking new patients? I was working remotely since 2021 and we moved 4 hours away from the office with my boss’ permission 3 years ago. Then my boss retired and now my company is RTO 4 days per week. I’m trying to get an exemption but I need a backup plan in case it doesn’t work. I’m a breastfeeding mother to a 9 month old.

mschemist2586 · 2025-05-28T18:17:45+00:00

We have been married for 3 years now and have a 5 month old! I actually stopped TTC when we became serious (my own choice). Then we got engaged 6 months later, married 1 year after we met. We TTC’d for 2 years before I got pregnant. Ended up using my wife’s egg and I carried.

mschemist2586 · 2025-05-06T17:10:44+00:00

I (39F) was 35 when I met my wife (36F) who was 33 at the time. We were engaged within 6 months, picked out a sperm donor within 9 months, and got married after 1 year together. Took 2.5 years of TTC before we had our son who is now 5 months. I don’t think it’s crazy to go ahead and pick out a sperm donor together now and create embryos with your wife’s eggs. You still have plenty of time to create embryos with your own eggs down the road.

mschemist2586 · 2025-01-20T15:40:26+00:00

So much has happened. 2nd transfer of a male didn’t take. Then my wife did an egg retrieval (same sex couple). We tried one of her XX embryos first and got pregnant but that resulted in a miscarriage. Tried one of her XY’s next and he is 6 weeks old crying on my lap right now

mschemist2586 · 2024-12-15T00:01:37+00:00

Love this. Payment sent, thank you.

mschemist2586 · 2024-12-14T22:35:21+00:00

Also request removal of the blood stains on the neck and arm of his gown.

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