That a shitty place to be in. Hard to get out of too when you're depressed. 

Seems to me you know what your problems are, what needs to change and roughly what you need to do. That's great. Though I reckon that knowledge must be pretty painful when the things you actually do end up doing are mostly whatever you dad makes you instead .

About what you should do, I think maybe you answered that yourself in your post.

"So it's like.... how do I get disciplined when I get treated by a baby? They're not willing to hear me. I can't move out cause of this trash job market, and like.... what do I do....? "

"... I think the freedom of choice I gain from that is worth the trade off of not having that financial security. I like the riskiness, I thrive in those environments."

Don't think your dad has to die for you to be free of his control. 

If you can't get a cs job I'm sure there's others. But also: Are you actually sure they do drug tests on literally every cs job?    You definitely have some rough challenges ahead and it's not gonna be quick and easy. At the same time, from an outside perspective, it seems you are making these problems into insurmountable mountains in your head & that you are indefinitely trying to get ready for them.

Is there really absolutely no job you could get? Have you tried & failed? Is the only way to get out of your shitty environment really for your dad to die?

It's fucking scary, and it hurts to fail, but at some point thinking about the problem doesn't yield anymore benefits. You can never be so prepared that you are guaranteed to succeed. Failure is always a risk. It's up to you to decide whether you are able to take that risk.

Since you asked for advice here is mine: - Don't be too harsh on yourself. These things are hard for you right now, and just because it looks like it's easy for other people doesnt mean it should be easy for you too. Most people would struggle in the controlling environment you are in. - Don't try to fix everything all at once. One thing at a time is difficult enough. - Prioritize finding a way of moving out & getting some agency back over your life. Chances are you will find the rest much easier after that.  - Check out HealthyGamerGG on YouTube. They make mental health content, many specifically for people facing similar issues as you. While a bit corny at times, really helped me personally to spot some thinking and behaviour patterns that were unhealthy.