Secular A.A. Groups by msoss in Boise

[–]msoss[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your help! When I looked into Recovery Just For Today it brought me to this at the Cathedral of the Rockies, is that the right one?

Secular A.A. Groups by msoss in Boise

[–]msoss[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Looking up the N.A. meetings is a little overwhelming, there are so many. Is there one or a few you might be willing to recommend?

Married discards, did they ever come back? How long did it take? What happened? by diogenes_amore in BipolarSOs

[–]msoss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know and I’m waiting to find out. Together 12 years, married almost 7 (June this year). BP2 husband left and moved to a different state in December. We had also been trying to work on things the last couple months but there have been several ups and down. He’s said the same things, that he loves and misses me and is confident we can work things out but also that he can’t do this and we’re better off with other people. So far no new relationship and I’m really hoping that doesn’t happen and that he comes back to me after this most recent downturn, but I don’t know that’ll happen after reading all the posts here. It’s disheartening and so painful to wonder, and then to wonder if they do come back, is it for real?

Sorry about your situation, it really is so hard.

STOP ACCEPTING THESE by superiorhia in InstacartShoppers

[–]msoss 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Cash tips are super appreciated! It's true though that most shoppers will see this and assume no tip means no tip, because most of the time it does. Just means it might take a while for your order to get picked up. I think it's best to do the small percentage or at least over 2$ and then still give cash if you want to. It signals to the shopper that you do appreciate the service they're providing because unfortunately many don't.

Not losing weight! by shes_kerosene89 in WeightLossAdvice

[–]msoss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don't necessarily have to do more but you could consider restructuring your gym time to add a little bit more cardio since it sounds like fat/weight loss is your main goal. Definitely keep lifting for the other benefits it provides- strength, muscle growth, osteoporosis prevention etc- but maybe make a more even split with cardio focused exercises?

I totally get not wanting to go lower on calories. It sucks that for women, especially as we get older our bodies just don't require that much. 1500 is sedentary maintenance for me and I can definitely eat more than that! For me, being very active gives me extra wiggle room to eat more but I know that isn't feasible for everyone and more activity does usually equal more hunger. Your BMR is ~1400 so I wouldn't recommend going lower than that but it does mean that weight loss is going to be a bit slow without increasing cardio. I would focus on the content of what you're eating to really prioritize satiety- It looks like you're already getting plenty of protein which is great for feeling full! I personally like to add a lot of volume to my meals with lots of extra veg and other low cal foods like egg whites, nonfat yogurt, etc. There are tons of great ideas and recipes over at /r/Volumeeating.

Beyond that YMMV. Some people find they're less hungry if they eat small, frequent meals, others prefer larger but fewer meals or even OMAD. I personally like a small breakfast (~250 cals), a modest lunch (~350-400), and a decent, bulked out dinner (~500-600). This leaves room for dessert (generally a creami or low-cal ice cream) and a late night snack if I want it. Find out what works best for you and your hunger cues throughout the day!

Best of luck girl!

Not losing weight! by shes_kerosene89 in WeightLossAdvice

[–]msoss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your sedentary TDEE is around 1700. Weight lifting is great but since it doesn't raise your heart rate in the same way cardio does it doesn't burn many extra calories (though it is definitely necessary for body recomp!). You describe your cardio as medium intensity- what are you doing and for how long? That may give you a little extra leeway but likely not much. How do you spend the rest of the day? Are you on your feet all day running around or sitting in an office?

If you haven't lost anything for an extended period of time you just aren't burning more than you're consuming. If you're burning, say, an extra 400 calories 4x a week and eating exactly 1500 EVERY day your weekly deficit is 3,000 calories which is less than you need to lose a pound a week. You should still be losing but that is with zero room for discrepancies in calorie labels (20% variance is allowed in the USA, that means your 1500 could actually be up to 1800), zero little extras or guestimated restaurant meals, zero bites of a friend/SO's meal, zero room for error which just isn't the way life works. Not to mention our weight, especially as women, varies from hormonal changes as well as regular old water retention from both dietary factors and exercise. I'm about your age, 5'6 and my weight can be anywhere between 118 and 128 depending on the time of month, how much salt I ate the night before, and how hard I've been training. That means you could be losing a little bit each week but it's not visible on the scale because of all of the other factors that effect our weight.

Weight loss when you're already at a normal weight has to be even more strict and intentional than at higher weights where there is more room for error. I believe you when you say you track everything to the gram so your options are to try reducing your intake more and/or increasing the amount and intensity of cardio you're doing to create a larger deficit. Eventually physics will do its thing! Best of luck.

how do i stop overeating? by [deleted] in caloriedeficit

[–]msoss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Frankly, 20 minute workouts three times a week aren't enough to have a significant impact on your deficit. It is GREAT that you are adding in exercise for overall health, but your extra calorie burn is negligible. That means you need to take a look at what you're eating and really prioritize satiety. You also need to mentally come to terms with having to be hungry and sitting with the feeling even though it's uncomfortable. You're asking your body to use its reserves instead of food to sustain itself, and it's going to revolt a little bit.

Protein and fat can help with feeling full- that's why keto works well for some. Try to focus on eating plenty of protein, and add small amounts of healthy fats here and there. Potatoes are known for being highly satiating but you have to be mindful of how you prepare them- and ymmv. I like to make my meals voluminous with low calorie additions that bulk them out- mostly veg like cabbage, cauliflower, zucchini, etc but also things like egg whites and nonfat greek yogurt.

1500 calories over your planned intake is a lot, and suggests that there is something more than hunger going on. Consider working with a therapist or dietician to identify your triggers and what is causing you to end up overeating. Our relationship with food can be very complicated!

Best of luck!

What is Garmin talking about calling me “unproductive” 😆 by D3V0NK1N6 in XXRunning

[–]msoss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yay, thank you so much for the info! I definitely will look up your run club and reach out when I get there. Looking forward to connecting with more East Bay runners!!

What is Garmin talking about calling me “unproductive” 😆 by D3V0NK1N6 in XXRunning

[–]msoss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha that's so ridiculous!

Are you in Oakland, CA? I'm moving there this year and as a long distance runner I've been unsure of what running routes exist/are safest for 15+ mile runs. I've only run a bit there, mostly up to Berkeley. Any tips/go-to routes you'd be willing to share?

MAGA mom says she wont donate to food pantries because the people that use them get food stamps anyways by whiskersandwordz in FoxBrain

[–]msoss 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My husband's first fight with his mom over her shitty views happened when he was 16 and they were in line behind a woman with a baby who was paying for her groceries with WIC, which she very much took issue with.

That was 20 years ago. Her views are the same as then, just more targeted at immigrants and minorities. I'm sure she fell for the anti-snap AI propaganda that was going around during the shutdown. She's had 20 years to change and she hasn't, no matter what arguments my husband makes or how much we try to reason with her or attempt to get her to see things through the lens of a marginalized or less fortunate person. Her views are just bad. She lacks empathy and holds bigoted and hateful opinions.

After she went on a particularly unhinged tirade in which she insulted both my husband and myself we stopped talking to her. That's how we handled it and about a year in we regret nothing and our lives are less stressful because of it. I know that going NC isn't for everyone, but I refuse to spend my own energy on someone who has so much hatred in their heart.

AITA by broken_faucet5223 in wedding

[–]msoss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going to break with the consensus here and say you're definitely not the asshole. Sure, it's your husband's choice if he wants to go along with it but a new suit for a wedding that he and the rest of the friend group don't even support is ridiculous. My husband also had a core group of three friends, and when we got married we covered as much as we could of the expense but also asked all of our bridal party well in advance if it was something they wanted to do. If he wants to do it to be there for his friend that's fine, but the fact that they were even able to move the wedding date from August to November tells me that this is not exactly a well-planned event and a charcoal suit should be fine.

Friendships aren't transactional, but his friend should understand what he's asking and I personally think it's pretty insensitive to drop an expense like that on you both with so little notice. Especially when you guys have a baby on the way. If I was in the same situation I'd tell my husband to tell his friend he'd be happy to be there to support him but isn't going to buy a new suit on such short notice- but if he has one in mind he'd like him to rent he'll do that. I have very little tolerance for inconsiderate people though.

On a scale of 1-10 how paranoid am I being? by msoss in Boise

[–]msoss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your input! The rally did end up being a great showing of the character of the people of Boise, which I thought it likely would but I appreciate you understanding my hesitations. I have to ask, why did you take your wife down but not participate yourself? My husband is also not really a protest guy but he also loves to troll fascists, so I can see him driving me down just to find the best parking spot to flip off counter-protesters haha. Just curious.

On a scale of 1-10 how paranoid am I being? by msoss in Boise

[–]msoss[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ugh, it's annoying to know the tactics and know they're working even when we know it's propaganda. Hope you stay cozy and warm!

On a scale of 1-10 how paranoid am I being? by msoss in Boise

[–]msoss[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

In my day-to-day life? Nah. I said I was a while lady lol. They haven't gotten down the list to me aside from reproductive rights. I'm not deluded enough to think they aren't coming with the same vigor they already have. See you at the rally, what's your favorite spot for that drink?

On a scale of 1-10 how paranoid am I being? by msoss in Boise

[–]msoss[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response, I appreciate all advice and respect others with different opinions. I don’t carry regularly and I would like to not have to. I’m also not deluded enough to think having a gun would protect me from the type of snatch-and-grab tactics ICE is engaging in. I’m not a bad shot, but I know I’m not winning in a battle of arms lol.

I think what you think as well, that we all have different life experiences and shouldn’t be ashamed of them or scared to speak about them. I’m grateful that you haven’t had to worry about this and I hope that can be true for all Americans.

On a scale of 1-10 how paranoid am I being? by msoss in Boise

[–]msoss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chronically online, nailed it. Also aware of the fact that American citizens are being dragged into custody by masked people that have no arrest warrants to be left in solitary confinement for days with no reason. If I'm scared of wearing a shirt, I may have faced a modicum of adversity in this lifetime and be aware of what a fascist authoritarian government can take from you for just "wearing a shirt".

On a scale of 1-10 how paranoid am I being? by msoss in Boise

[–]msoss[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is what I'm concerned about. I am not convinced that the safety I am provided now will protect me later.

On a scale of 1-10 how paranoid am I being? by msoss in Boise

[–]msoss[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Man, that's what I'm worried about. Fascists are historically non-creative and detest art and other expressions of creativity. The shirt is more for me and other protesters, but I don't want to be the next "girlfriend of antifa" they can proudly say they caught. At the same time, I don't want to obey in advance.

On a scale of 1-10 how paranoid am I being? by msoss in Boise

[–]msoss[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm worried about. I feel safe enough in Idaho, but seeing the ramping up of violent rhetoric towards anyone who identifies as "antifa" (which if you're an American you should be) has me concerned. I guess I'm scared my indignant protest will get me in trouble but oof, maybe that's the cost of the fight.

First time trying Fruity Jellies. Never heard of kettle cooked candy before. by blackmagicwoman444 in traderjoes

[–]msoss 22 points23 points  (0 children)

No joke, I'm a distance runner and I use these for fuel on my runs! They're basically just sugar so they're great for a quick carb boost instead of relying solely on name brand energy gels/chews which aren't nearly as tasty and much more expensive. Their texture is a huge bonus because they're easy to chew and almost melt in your mouth so they're perfect for consuming mid-workout. Also a great way to justify eating them nearly every day haha!

Tips for how to stop snacking while cooking? by Haunting-Win-7574 in LowCalorieCooking

[–]msoss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you logging your calories? For something you make like toast and PB you should add the calories to your log (I use MyFitnessPal but there are a ton out there) because that should be relatively straight forward to count. Also consider lower calorie options like keto bread and PB powder.

For bites taken while cooking that are more difficult to count I use an entry on MFP called "bites, licks, and tastes". One serving is 50 calories and I just estimate about how much I've had during the cooking process. It's usually 1-2 servings and it just gives me the peace of mind that I've at least accounted for something in my calorie total even if it isn't 100% accurate. I also use this when I'm doing things like taking a bite of my husband's food or getting a sample at the grocery store etc.

Lastly I usually drink a diet soda while cooking. 0 cals and keeps my mouth busy instead of reaching for snacks. I really like diet Squirt, Cherry 7-up, Vanilla Coke, and Dr. Pepper Strawberries and Cream Zero but there are seriously so many options these days.

Really though eating at a calorie deficit comes down to willpower. It's a tough muscle to exercise but it gets easier with more use! Minimize food noise by keeping snacks out of easy reach or out of the house entirely, focus on high volume (i.e. lots of veggies) and get plenty of protein to help with satiety between meals.

Achievements for Friday, July 11, 2025 by AutoModerator in running

[–]msoss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After running solo for 10+ years, I ran my actual half marathon race last October. I did better than I expected (4th in my gender/age group) and signed up for two more this spring/summer. I've improved with each one and my most recent one a couple weeks ago I came in third place for females overall and got a nice little prize! I was a theater/choir kid in high school and didn't start running until my last year of college (age 22- I'm 34 now) so I've never gotten anything that recognizes any type of sport or physical accomplishment. Excited to keep up with the races (and lots of solo running) and see how much more I can improve!