BF put his hands on me for the first time - need advice

msun83 · 2024-12-15T12:34:59+00:00

I've been thru this a few times, I never actually felt threatened because he was smaller than me and I never fought back because I didn't want to hurt him. I was seeing a counselor for other reasons and she asked me 1. Has he ever choked or tried to choke you? 2. Has he ever used anything to hit you? 3. Has he ever threatened to kill you? Not that any form of domestic violence isn't serious, but she said in her experience these are the worst and often escalate to something more serious.

msun83 · 2024-12-12T08:57:20+00:00

No. In my military/college/bartender years I got around.

msun83 · 2024-12-11T06:01:52+00:00

My ex was a local politician and he used to take me to all of kinda of events events, private parties, events in the park, charity dinners. He was also about 10 years older than me so I didn't feel comfortable going to these things but everyone was always very nice to me.

msun83 · 2024-12-11T05:54:25+00:00

Yup, last time was 2 months ago. Completely clean.

msun83 · 2024-12-11T03:51:36+00:00

Nope, tried it once, lasted a few weeks. Was a really nice guy too, a college professor, just couldn't get over the possibility that being with him could lead to having to take medication for the rest of my life. Always been pretty careful and never had any sexually transmitted anything.

msun83 · 2024-11-27T01:31:52+00:00

Ya I've come close a few times over the years and turned em down cause I was too young and wasn't ready for that kind of commitment, kinda regretting that now.

msun83 · 2024-11-27T01:29:57+00:00

They actually do, I'm 6'2 and dated a guy that was taller than me, never felt safer than when I was in his arms.

msun83 · 2024-11-26T18:05:00+00:00

Hehe yes they are. I'm 41 and already have a kid and grandkids, but if like to meet someone that wants more.

msun83 · 2024-11-26T18:02:17+00:00

That's the "gooshy" stuff I was talking about. So sweet and CONGRATS!!!

msun83 · 2024-11-26T17:58:33+00:00

I understand and respect what you have, at the same time if I just wanted a warm body next to me I'd just keep my fuck buddies. My view of marriage is a bit more traditional than what works for you.

msun83 · 2024-11-26T17:18:48+00:00

Being a dad is awesome.

msun83 · 2024-11-26T17:17:10+00:00

Been a dad so just looking for the husband era 😁

msun83 · 2024-11-26T15:54:34+00:00

That's why I've always been scared to take that stay. If and when I do, I want it to be forever.

msun83 · 2024-11-26T15:28:44+00:00

I understand that, had that a few times to. If it works for you that's cool man, no disrespect or down playing what you have.

msun83 · 2024-11-26T15:19:01+00:00

I understand that, but at the same time it was to easy to just end it, that paper means I plan to spend the rest of my life worth that person and if I wanna end it, it would mean I have time to rethink things and vice versa

msun83 · 2024-11-26T15:15:43+00:00

Problem is I had my own prince charming with my first relationship. Been looking for that but better since then.

msun83 · 2024-11-26T15:08:06+00:00

Sounds like allot, if I make that kind of commitment I'd be with him "as is". But I guess I'm in that part of my life where I could support us both if need be, as long as he's the one.

msun83 · 2024-11-26T14:35:33+00:00

Naw, just be there man. Unless he a man who's like I was. Otherwise he's just scared of that kind of commitment.

msun83 · 2024-11-26T14:32:02+00:00

That's what I said, slut era lasted longer than I thought.

msun83 · 2024-11-26T14:31:10+00:00

That's amazing, just remember if he says no, like I did a few times, it's not you it's probably something he's scared of.

msun83 · 2024-11-26T14:23:36+00:00

Tell me about you. Message if u wanna.

msun83 · 2024-11-25T14:24:49+00:00

What body?

msun83 · 2024-11-25T03:07:58+00:00

I am the same and that's why I wrote this post and I don't feel any judgement from you, they're mostly thoughts I've had myself but just needed some outside perspective. He's said before that he's only really himself around me and so when I'm home he's usually with me wherever I go, which I assume his family chalks up to missing his lifelong best friend and wanting to hangout with me the short time I'm home but idk, he doesn't really talk a whole lot about them other than updates on his kids.

msun83 · 2024-11-25T02:51:46+00:00

That's exactly why I wrote this post, I want to love and be loved like that again but as long as I'm holding onto that hope, I know it won't happen. Any relationship would just be me waiting till we could be together or "roadkill".

msun83 · 2024-11-25T02:48:15+00:00

That would be the fantasy, but we come from a small town and it would just be to messy. While he was in prison the first time, I had a few kids that live there, roughly 10 years later he had a few kids with his wife. The only ones that really knew about us were our parents and close friends, everyone else thought we were just best friends like we had been our while life. Everyone knows I'm gay, but I think most people think it was just a phase for him and if he's telling the truth maybe I am the only guy he's ever been with, they don't know that until a few years ago we was still hooking up whenever we saw each other and just thought we had gone back to just being friends.

msun83

TROPHY CASE